Menopause and your mum. Anybody else lose their loving mum to menopause?

Question

My mum was the sweetest, most generous, most selfless person you could possibly imagine. She would do anything for anyone, anything I asked her to do.
Then BAM! Menopause struck! My gentle mother suddenly became a savage monster, throwing coffee cups because the lunch my father brought home for her was on the wrong bread, feeding my babies full-sugar diets despite me telling her it was bad for them and asking her to stop. She turned gossipy with her friends. She'd go from happy to vicious in 10 seconds. And so many other horrible things, I can't fit them all here. Now, we put up with this, and tried to understand that it was her hormones and not her doing this, and that she had no control over it.
She's been on hormone replacement and her levels have been normal for over 5 years now, so why is she still devil-woman? It got so bad that I've had to keep her out of my life. It's just on a year now since I've spoken to her. I miss my mum. Anybody have a similar situation?

Answer 1

Hon, I am SO sorry about your mum and her behavior. This question struck a chord in me because I underwent a total hysterectomy in 2001. ( I am almost 45 ) It was the biggest mistake in my entire life. I should have gotten a second opinion, but it's done. I don't have symptoms like your mum does, but I do sweat horribly during the day and if I worry about it more, I perspire more. I'd rather have my period back in a second. I am not on hormone replacement therapy but I am bipolar. I take antidepressants (Cymbalta) My mother was 38 when she had me, and now she's in her 80's and she doesn't remember her menopause. I wish so badly I could ask her. The symptoms you are describing sound a little like Alzheimer's (my mother will go from "I love you so much honey" to "I hate you I hate you! *****!" in 5 seconds flat. How old is your mum? If she is taking hormone replacement therapy and the levels are normal for over five years, this sounds like it could be another diagnosis. Do you have siblings that could help you to get her to see a doctor? (it takes a crane to lift my mother from the house to the doctor, metaphorically speaking) Maybe she needs an appointment with a psychiatrist or a therapist who specializes in this - and maybe the psychiatrist could find the right meds for her, and it would possibly level her moods out? I really feel for you, and I am so sorry. Please, even if it's a very difficult thing, please visit your mum. Underneath all of the changes within her, she still loves you. You sound like a wonderful, caring daughter. You have people on your side. Good luck!

Answer 2

i know how u must feel. i think your mom might be having a mid-life crisis or some other traumatic thing occurred that no one knew about, and is now causing a personality split. the best advice i can give you, is have her committed to the psychiatric ward of a hospital, and have her evaluated for mental illness. maybe menopause has triggered an imbalance in her brain, thusfar, making her bi-polar. at any rate, there are medimications, and different methods of counseling and treatment that can help her see the error of her ways, and get her back to normal. there is hope for your mommy! the hardest part, will be getting her to go to the hospital and admit that she needs help. after that, it will be a piece of cake! the other idea is this: people cant fix things about themselves if they dont know certain things are "broken". have you tried talking to her and telling her how badly her behavior is hurting you? have you tried sitting her down with the rest of your family to say "we dont like how you're being hurtful, and mean, and setting a bad example". it might help to talk with her about it, and let her know how much you love her, but that u miss the way she used to be, and you dont like your new mommy.

Answer 3

the menopasuse isnt going to final perpetually. perhaps confront her. next time she yells at you for no reason only bypass in an assertive voice "seem mum i understand you have menopause and each little thing yet end treating me this sort! you was truly large and now your so strict i cant even ask if i will bypass honme early fomr the sea coast reason i ahte getting sunburnt! o god...you dont seriosuly desire me to get epidermis maximum cancers do you! i admire you and all yet this needs to end." it may be a awaken call for her...perhaps she only dosent understand. perhaps she cant help it yet no count number what she needs to nwo your alwasy gonna be there for her and love her. might make her experience extra advantageous.

Answer 4

It may not be her homones. It may be a borderline personality disorder. Go on line and read about it, just go to borderline personality disorder and there is a wealth of info on it. Sounds like to me she has a lot of the symptoms. Check it out for yourself see what you think. Then maybe you can find help for her if you think that could be the problem. You could maybe talk to her doctor too and see what he thinks about it. Good luck.