Jokes & Riddles - November 2007

What do you call a man with 99% of his brain missing?

C**trated.


What's the difference between government bonds and men?

Bonds mature.


What's the difference between a man and E.T.?

E.T. phoned home.


Why are all dumb blonde jokes one-liners?

So men can remember them.

2007-11-22 01:14:20 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

A secretary comes in late for work for the third day in a row,
so her boss calls her into his office.

"Look, Sharon, " he says irritably. "I
know we had a wild fling for a while, but that's over.
I expect you to conduct yourself like any other employee
around here. Who told you that, just because we had an affair,
you could come and go as you please around here?"

Sharon lights up a cigarette and says, "My lawyer."
===============================
A blonde woman walks into a store. Curious about a shiny
object, she asks, "What is that?"

The store clerk responds, "It's a thermos."


The blonde then asks, "What does it do?"

The clerk says "It keeps hot things hot and cold things
cold." So she buys one.

The next day, she brings it to work with her. Her boss, also
a blonde, asks, "What is that shiny object?"


She replies "It's a thermos."

He asks, "What does it do?"

2007-11-22 01:13:54 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

What's the difference between a bar and a cl**oris?

Most men have no trouble finding a bar.


What's a man's definition of a romantic evening?

S*x.


What is the only time a man thinks about a candlelight dinner?

When the power goes off.


What do men and women have in common?

They both distrust men.


How can you tell the difference between men's real gifts and their guilt gifts?

Guilt gifts are nicer.


What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man?

His wife is good at picking out clothes.


How is a man like the weather?

Nothing can be done to change either one of them.


What is the difference between a man and childbirth?

One can be terribly painful and sometimes almost unbearable while the other is just having a baby.

2007-11-22 01:09:54 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

Why do doctors slap babies' butts right after they're born?
To knock the p**ises off the smart ones.

What is that insensitive bit at the base of the p**is called?

The man.


Why is psychoanalysis quicker for men than for women?

When it's time to go back to childhood, he's already there.


What do you call a handcuffed man?

Trustworthy.


What do a cl**oris, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common?

Men always miss them.


Why are men like commercials?

You can't believe a word they say.


Why are men like popcorn?

They satisfy you, but only for a little while.


Why are men like blenders?

You need one, but you're not quite sure why.


Why do so many women fake org**m?

Because so many men fake for**lay.


Why are women so bad at mathematics?

Because men keep telling them that this (make gap with thumb and forefinger) is 9 inches.

2007-11-22 01:07:32 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-11-22 01:04:46 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

A dog, a cat, and a p**is are sitting around a camp fire one night.
The dog says,
"My life sucks, my master makes me do my business on a fire hydrent!".

The cat says, "I don't think so, my master makes me do my business in a box of cat litter."

The p**is outraged, says "At least your master doesn't put a bag over your head and make you do push ups until you throw up!"


A man and a woman started to have s*x in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!".

The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"

2007-11-22 01:03:34 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

Jesus and Saint Paul are sitting in Heaven, talking about the pollution on Earth and wondering what can be done about mankind's filthy ways.

Jesus says he's going to pop down to Skegness to see the situation for himself, and Paul agrees to join him. When they get there,
Jesus asks
what the huge metal pipe is for. Paul tells him it's used to take human waste out to sea where the muck kills dolphins, so Jesus decides to take
action and strides across the waves. Walking alongside, Paul is soon knee-deep in filthy water, while Jesus scoots along on top of the sea.
Ever hopeful of some help he slogs on, and Jesus keeps walking on water... but soon the water is up to Paul's chin. "Master," he calls, "I will
follow you anywhere, but I'm up to my neck in shitty water and I think I'm going to drown." At this Jesus stops walking and looks at Paul.
"Well," he says, "why don't you just walk on the pipe like me, you silly pr*ck?"

2007-11-22 00:59:47 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside.
I just finished cleaning."


2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."



3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to
knock you into the middle of next week!"


4. My mother taught me LOGIC. " Because I said so, that's why."


5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck,
you're not going to the store with me."


6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're
in an accident."


7. My mother taught me IRONY "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to
cry about."


8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."


9. My mot her taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

2007-11-22 00:57:06 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

Teacher asked a student to give her a three syllable word and sound it out. Little Johnny said Mas tur bate Somewhat surprised, the teacher said " my ,that is quite a mouthful" Little Johnny said , Oh no maam, that is only a 2 syllable word, B---J--

2007-11-22 00:50:12 · 8 answers · asked by georgewarren93 5

what would you say or do?

2007-11-22 00:38:00 · 3 answers · asked by aler23 2

In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old white male, in a pumpkin patch 11:38 p.m. on Friday night.
On Monday, at the Gwinnett County (GA) courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication. The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a drinking session when he decided to stop, "You know how a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles or at least I thought there wasn't anyone around" he stated in a telephone interview.

Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged 'need.' "Guess I was really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.
In the process of doing the deed, Lawrence failed to notice an approaching police car and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor approached him.

"It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said officer Taylor. "I walked up to Lawrence and he's just banging away at this pumpkin."

Officer Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence . "I said, "Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a pumpkin?"

He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he looked me straight in the face and said..."A pumpkin? ****...is it midnight already?"

2007-11-22 00:25:50 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was plodding through the
Afghanistan desert when he saw something far off in the distance.

Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the object, only to find a
Little old Jewish man at a small stand selling ties.
The Taliban asked, "Do you have water?"

The Jewish man replied, "I have no water.
Would you like to buy a tie? They are only $5."

The Taliban shouted, "Idiot! I do not need an overpriced tie.
I need water! I should kill you, but I must find water first."

OK," said the old Jewish man, "it does not matter that you do not
want to buy a tie and that you hate me.
I will show you that I am bigger than that".

"If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you
will find a lovely restaurant.
It has all the ice cold water you need.
Shalom."

Muttering, the Taliban staggered away over the hill.

Several hours later he staggered back.

"Your f***ing brother won't let me in without a tie."

2007-11-21 23:29:22 · 35 answers · asked by Greybeard 7

That is,the expected answer...

2007-11-21 22:54:05 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous

Dear Friend.....I have been watching you very closely to see if
you have been very good this year and since you have I will be
telling my elves to make some goodies for me to leave under your
tree at Christmas.

I was going to bring you all gifts from the 12 days of Christmas,
but we had a little problem. The 12 fiddlers fiddling have all
come down with VD from fiddling with the 10 ladies dancing, the
11 lords leaping have knocked up the 8 maids a-milking, and the 9
pipers piping have been arrested for doing weird things to the 7
swans a-swimming. The 6 geese a-laying, 4 calling birds, 3 French
hens, 2 turtle doves and the partridge in a pear tree have me up
to my sled runners in bird sh*t.

On top of all this Mrs. Claus is going through menopause, 8 of my
reindeer are in heat, the elves have joined the gay liberation and
some people who can't read a calendar have scheduled Christmas
for the 5th of January.

Maybe next year I will be able to get my act together and bring
you the things you want.

This year I suggest you get your butt down to Walmart before
everything is gone.

Sincerely, Santa Claus

2007-11-21 21:50:15 · 12 answers · asked by ♥Scottish♥Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ♥Fairy♥ 7

2007-11-21 21:48:20 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

All stations are to be on the lookout for the following
individual(s) that are WANTED by an agency(ies) within the United
States of America. The US State Department has expressed interest
in extraditing the following individual(s) from anywhere in the
world.

NAME
Kringle, Christopher Also Known As Santa, Jolly Old Man, Saint Nick

RACE
Unknown

HEIGHT
6' 0"

WEIGHT
320 lbs

SCARS/TATTOOS
Across both buttocks words Merry Christmas.

LAST SEEN WEARING
Red suit pants and Jacket with red thermal underwear. Red hat,
with white tassel.

KNOWN TO BE DRIVING
1964 red convertible, with a nine Reindeer powered engine. Vehicle
was displaying a red light on front, in violation of the State of
Alaska Vehicle and Traffic law.

WANTED FOR THE FOLLOWING CIMINAL VIOLATIONS
- Being Jolly in a No Jolly zone,
- Breaking and entering dwellings,
- Leaving un-addressed packages in violation of US Postal Laws,
- Intentional dumping of reindeer feces in sewer drains in
violation of US EPA Laws,
- Unlawful crossing of US Borders without reporting the crossing
to US Customs,
- Failure to obtain a non-resident work permit from INS,
- Operating a motor vehicle that is not in compliance with US DOT
regulations,
- Unlawful work practice in violation of the Equal Opportunity
laws of the USA (Will not employ people taller than 4 feet),
- Excess noise from motor vehicle in violation of State of Alaska
Vehicle and Traffic laws (Sound of HO HO HO coming from
vehicle),
- Failure to respond to repeated request for Identification by FAA
Flight controllers, Violation of the sovereign airspace of the
United States of America.

Individual is known to force Goodwill and Peace upon all men/women.
Has been known to assault people with vicious bouts of laughter and
fun.

If contact is made with the above individual, caution should be
taken as to not become happy & joyful, especially with thoughts of
sugarplums.

Detain individual and contact either Detective Grinch, North Pole
Police Dept., Alaska, OR Special Agent Scrooge of the Federal
Bureau of Investigation.

2007-11-21 21:36:39 · 13 answers · asked by ♥Scottish♥Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ♥Fairy♥ 7

By the time you read through this YOU WILL UNDERSTAND 'TENJOOBERRYMUDS'...
In order to continue getting by in America (our home land), we all need to learn the NEW English language! Practice by reading the following conversation until you are able to understand the term 'TENJOOBERRYMUDS'. With a little patience, you'll be able to fit right in.
Now, here goes...
The following is a telephone exchange between maybe you as a hotel guest and a call for room-service somewhere in the good old U S A today......
Room Service : 'Morrin. Roon sirbees.'
Guest : 'Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service.'
Room Service: ' Rye . Roon sirbees...morrin! Joowish to oddor sunteen???'
Guest: 'Uh..... Yes, I'd like to order bacon and eggs.'
Room Service: 'Ow July den?'
Guest: '.....What??'
Room Service: 'Ow July den?!?... pryed, boyud, poochd?'
Guest: 'Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry.. scrambled, please.'
Room Service: 'Ow July dee baykem? Crease?'
Guest: 'Crisp will be fine.'
Room Service: 'Hokay. An Sahn toes?'
Guest: 'What?'
Room Service: 'An toes. July Sahn toes?'
Guest: 'I... don't think so.'
RoomService: 'No? Judo wan sahn toes???'
Guest: 'I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo wan sahn toes' means.'
RoomService: 'Toes! Toes!...Why Joo don Juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we bodder?'
Guest: 'Oh, English muffin!!!; I've got it! You were saying 'toast'...
Fine...Yes, an English muffin will be fine.'
RoomService: 'We bodder?'
Guest: 'No, just put the bodder on the side.'
RoomService: 'Wad?!?'
Guest: 'I mean butter... just put the butter on the side.'
RoomService: 'Copy?'
Guest: 'Excuse me?'
RoomService: 'Copy...tea..meel?'
Guest: 'Yes. Coffee, please... and that's everything.'
RoomService: 'One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin, we bodder on sigh and copy ... rye??'
Guest: 'Whatever you say.'
RoomService: 'Tenjooberrymuds.'
Guest: 'You're welcome'
Told ya...
'By the time you read through this, YOU WILL UNDERSTAND 'TENJOOBERRYMUDS'

2007-11-21 21:35:09 · 6 answers · asked by Gina B 4

The old man arrived at the doctor's office at 2PM for his appointment..

two-three-four hours later..
he was still in the waiting room..

finally, in disgust, he got up to go..
as he passed the nurse he said..

"Guess I'll go home and die a natural death!"

2007-11-21 21:29:28 · 7 answers · asked by Tex Ahoy 2

Three men died and found themselves standing in line at the pearly gates. One was gay, another Italian, the other was Jewish.

At the gates of Heaven, these three were told that they had led a sinful life and each would be granted one last chance to redeem himself to get into Heaven. But, they each had to make a sacrifice.

The gay man wasn't allowed to practice sodomy, the Jew wasn't allowed to pick any money up off the ground and the Italian wasn't allowed to have pizza. They only had to make this sacrifice for one day.

They were sent back down to Earth. They were walking along and the Italian said, "This is gonna be easy!" But then, right as he said that, they passed a pizza parlor and the Italian could smell the pizza.

"Oh, mama-mia! That smells good! One little bite couldn't hurt!" The Italian took a bite and disappeared.

At this point the Jew and gay man knew that they had to have willpower. So, they walked a little more when the Jew saw a dime rolling his way. He got a look of glee in his eye and said, "One little dime won't do anything!"

He bent over to pick up the dime and the gay man disappeared.

2007-11-21 21:28:04 · 6 answers · asked by ShelFish 4

2007-11-21 21:22:13 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

One day a string walked into a bar and ordered a beer. The bartender looked down at him and said, "We don't serve strings in here!" The string walked outside tied himself in a knot and freyed his ends. He walks back into the bar and orders another beer. The bartender looks down at him and sais, "Hey, aren't you the string I just kicked out of here?" The string looks up at him and sais, "I'm a freyed knot."

2007-11-21 21:17:26 · 12 answers · asked by ShelFish 4

One day there was a 14 year old girl in a nice short skirt. A boy about 16 walked up to her and said, "I bet you can’t climb that tree".
The girl replied, "Oh yes I can, watch".
The girl climbed up the tree and the boy looked up her skirt. When she came down he said, "I like your knickers".
The girl got upset and told her mum her mum said, "You silly girl you let him look up your skirt to see your knickers".
The next day the girl wore an even shorter skirt the boy said to her again, "I bet you can’t climb that tree", pointing to a taller one.
The girl climbed it and when she came down the boy never said nothing, he just looked very happy.
The girl told her mum again her mum said, "You silly girl you showed him your knickers again".
The girl replied, "No I tricked him this time, I didn’t wear any ".

2007-11-21 21:16:29 · 10 answers · asked by ShelFish 4

Why are you always lazy by sleeping like this under a tree?The old man asked.The oung man replied,What should I do?
The old one told,If you work hard,you will get a good job"So what,the curious young man asked.The old one advised"Then you will get a nice wife,good house,good children,lot of money,enjoy,live happily and live a happy life.."The young man asked again"And then?"The old one replied,"and then you can live peacefully relaxing yourself in an easy chair in your old days"The young one replied,'Oh,I am doing that already.Why should I struggle unnecessariy?"

2007-11-21 21:11:47 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

Mary Had a Little Lamb


Mary had a little lamb,
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
between two hunks of bread.

Little Miss Muffet


Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet,
Her clothes all tattered and torn.
It wasn't the spider
That crept up beside her,
But Little Boy Blue and his horn.

Simple Simon


Simple Simon met a Pieman,
Going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pieman,
What have you got there?
Said the Pieman unto Simon,
Pies, you ********.

Humpty Dumpty


Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings horses
And all the kings men,
Said "F*ck him,
He's only an egg."

Mary Had a Another Lamb


Mary had a little lamb
It ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up it's a**,
And turned it's wool to nylon.

Georgy Porgy


Georgie Porgy, pudding and pie.
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too, cause he was gay.

2007-11-21 21:06:53 · 9 answers · asked by ShelFish 4

Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note
explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.

While he's in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a
speeding ticket.

Leave him a note, explaining that you've gone away for the
holidays. Ask if he would mind watering your plants.

While he's in the house, replace all his reindeer with exact
replicas. Then wait and see what happens when he tries to get
them to fly.

Keep an angry bull in your living room. If you think a bull goes
crazy when he sees a little red cape, wait until he sees that
big, red Santa suit!

Build an army of mean-looking snowmen on the roof, holding signs
that say "We hate Christmas," and "Go away Santa."

Leave a note by the telephone, telling Santa that Mrs. Claus
called and wanted to remind him to pick up some milk and a loaf
of bread on his way home.

Throw a surprise party for Santa when he comes down the
chimney. Refuse to let him leave until the strippers arrive.

While he's in the house, find the sleigh and sit in it. As soon
as he comes back and sees you, tell him that he shouldn't have
missed that last payment, and take off.

Leave a plate filled with cookies and a glass of milk out, with
a note that says, "For The Tooth Fairy. :)" Leave another plate
out with half a stale cookie and a few drops of skim milk in a
dirty glass with a note that says, "For Santa. :("

Take everything out of your house as if it's just been robbed.
When Santa arrives, show up dressed like a policeman and say,
"Well, well. They always return to the scene of the crime."

Leave out a copy of your Christmas list with last-minute changes
and corrections.

While he's in the house, cover the top of the chimney with
barbed wire.

Leave lots of hunting trophies and guns out where Santa's sure
to see them. Go outside, yell, "Ooh! Look! A deer! And he's got
a red nose!" and fire a gun.

Leave Santa a note, explaining that you've moved. Include a map
with unclear and hard-to-read directions to your new house.

Set a bear trap at the bottom of the chimney. Wait for Santa to
get caught in it, and then explain that you're sorry, but from a
distance, he looked like a bear.

Leave out a Santa suit, with a dry-cleaning bill.

Paint "hoof-prints" all over your face and clothes. While he's
in the house, go out on the roof. When he comes back up, act
like you've been "trampled." Threaten to sue.

Instead of ornaments, decorate your tree with Easter eggs.

Dress up like the Easter Bunny. Wait for Santa to come and then
say, "This neighborhood ain't big enough for the both of us."

2007-11-21 20:56:14 · 13 answers · asked by ♥Scottish♥Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ♥Fairy♥ 7

Money isn't made out of paper; it's made
out of cotton.

The 57 on Heinz ketchup bottle represents
the varieties of pickles the company once
had.

Your stomach produces a new layer of
mucus every two weeks - otherwise it will
digest itself.

The Declaration of Independence was
written on hemp paper.

The dot over the letter "i" is called a tittle.

A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh
champagne will bounce up and down
continuously from the bottom of the glass
to the top.

Susan Lucci is the daughter of Phyllis
Diller.

40% of McDonald's profits come from
the sales of Happy Meals.

Every person has a unique tongue print.

315 entries in Webster's 1996 Dictionary
were misspelled.

During the chariot scene in 'Ben Hur' a
small red car can be seen in the distance.

On average, 12 newborns will be given to
the wrong parents daily.

Chocolate affects a dog's heart and
nervous system; a few ounces will kill
a small sized dog.

Most lipstick contains fish scales.

Orcas (killer whales) kill sharks by
torpedoing up into the shark's stomach
from underneath, causing the shark to explode.

Donald Duck comics were banned from
Finland because he doesn't wear pants.

Ketchup was sold in the 1830s as medicine.

Leonardo da Vinci could write with one
hand and draw with the other at the same time.

American Airlines saved $40,000 in '87 by
eliminating one olive from each salad served
in first class.

Upper and lower case letters are named
'upper' and 'lower' because in the time
when all original print had to be set in
individual letters, the 'upper case' letters
were stored in the case on top of the case
that stored the smaller, 'lower case' letters.

If you pour a tiny amount of liquor on a
scorpion, it will instantly go mad and sting
itself to death.

If you have three quarters, four dimes, and
four pennies, you have $1.19. You also
have the largest amount of money in
coins without being able to make change
for a dollar.

The mask used by Michael Myers in the
original "Halloween" was a Captain Kirk
mask painted white.

The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from
an old English law, which stated that you
couldn't beat your wife with anything wider
than your thumb.

The first product Motorola started to
develop was a record player for auto
mobiles. At that time, the most known
player on the market was the Victrola, so
they called themselves Motorola.

By raising your legs slowly and lying on
your back, you can't sink in quicksand.

Celery has negative calories! It takes more
calories to eat a piece of celery than the
celery has in it to begin with. It's the same
with apples.

Chewing gum while peeling onions will
keep you from crying!

The glue on Israeli postage stamps is
certified kosher.

Astronauts are not allowed to eat beans
before they go into space because
passing wind in a space suit damages
them.

Rhythms is the longest word without any
of the vowels (aeiou).

2007-11-21 20:52:06 · 17 answers · asked by ShelFish 4

A girl came skipping home FROM school one day. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,7, 8, 9, 10!"

"Very good," said her mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"

"Yes, Honey, it's because you're blonde."

The next day the girl came skipping home FROM school. "Mommy, Mommy," She yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A,b, c, d, e, f, g!"

"Very good," said her mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"

"Yes, Honey, it's because you're blonde."

The next day the girl came skipping home FROM school. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs.

"Very good," said her embarrassed mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?"

"No, Honey, it's because you're 25."

2007-11-21 20:43:56 · 18 answers · asked by ShelFish 4

A dentist noticed that his next patient, an elderly lady,
was looking very nervous so he decided to tell her a little joke as he put
on his gloves.


"Do you know how they make these gloves?" he asked.


"No, I don't" she replied.


"Well," he spoofed, "there's a building in China with a big tank of latex.
Workers of all hand sizes walk up to the tank, dip in their hands, let them
dry,
then peel off the gloves and throw them into boxes of the right size."


She didn't crack a smile. "Oh well, I tried," he thought.


But five minutes later, during a delicate portion of the dental procedure,
she burst out laughing.


"What's so funny?" he asked.


"I was just picturing how condoms are made!" she said.

2007-11-21 20:11:51 · 11 answers · asked by cold kid 2

Two peanuts were walking down the street...one was a salted.

2007-11-21 19:44:03 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

A kilted Scotsman was walking down a country path after finishing off a large amount of whisky at a local pub. He felt quite sleepy and decided to nap against a tree.
As he slept, two female tourists heard his loud snoring. When they found him, one said, "I've always wondered what a Scotsman wears under his kilt."

She boldly walked over to the sleeper, raised his kilt, and saw that he wore nothing at all. Her friend said, "Well, the mystery is solved! Let's thank him for sharing!"

She took off her pretty blue hair ribbon and gently tied it around the Scotsman's endowment. A while later, the Scotsman was awakened by the call of nature. He raised his kilt and was bewildered at the sight of the neatly tied blue ribbon. He stared for a minute, then said, "I don't know where y'been laddie... but it's nice ta see you won firrrst prrrize!"

2007-11-21 19:25:23 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous