Jokes & Riddles - November 2007

Barbie
c/o Mattel, Inc.
El Segundo, CA 90245
Santa Claus
North Pole, North Pole
December 23, 1996
Dear Santa:
Listen you ugly little troll, I've been helping you out every year, playing at being the perfect Christmas
Present, wearing skimpy bathing suits in frigid weather, and drowning in fake tea from one too many
tea parties, and I hate to break it to ya Santa, but IT'S DEFINITELY PAYBACK TIME! There had
better be some changes around here this Christmas, or I'm gonna call for a nationwide meltdown (and
trust me, you won't wanna be around to smell it). So, here's my holiday wish list for 2007:
Santa:
1. A nice, comfy pair of sweat pants and a frumpy, oversized sweatshirt. I'm sick of looking like a hooker.
How much smaller are these bathing suits gonna get? Do you have any idea what it feels
like to have nylon and velcro crawling up your butt?
2. Real underwear that can be pulled on and off. Preferably white. What bonehead at Mattel decided to
cheap out and MOLD imitation underwear to my skin?!? It looks like cellulite!
3. A REAL man...maybe GI Joe. Hell, I'd take Tickle-Me Elmo over that wimped-out excuse for a boytoy Ken. And what's with that earring anyway? If I'm gonna have to suffer with him, at least make him (and me) anatomically correct.
4. Arms that actually bend so I can push the aforementioned Ken-wimp away once he is anatomically correct.
5. Breast reduction surgery. I don't care whose arm you have to twist, get it done.
6. A jogbra. To wear until I get the surgery.
7. A new career. Pet doctor and school teacher just don't cut it. How about a systems analyst? Or better yet,
a public relations senior account exec!
8. A new, more 90s persona. Maybe "PMS Barbie", complete with a miniature container of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and a bag of chips; "Animal Rights Barbie", with my very own paint gun,
outfitted with a fake fur coat, bottle of spray on blood and handcuffs; or "Stop Smoking Barbie," sporting a removable Nicotrol patch and equipped with several packs of gum.
9. No more McDonald's endorsements. The grease is wrecking my vinyl.
10. Mattel stock options. It's been 37 years--I think I deserve it.
Ok, Santa, that's it. Considering my valuable contribution to society, I don't think these requests are out of line.
If you disagree, then you can find yourself a new b*tch for next Christmas.
It's that simple.
Yours truly,
Barbie

2007-11-22 04:59:31 · 14 answers · asked by ♥Scottish♥Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ♥Fairy♥ 7

2007-11-22 04:14:48 · 18 answers · asked by DeadlyDrew™ 3

Ok, give me a star if u like my joke! i need points! ok here it is:
There are 3 boys.There names were Poop,Shut Up, and Manners! One day, the boys were on a motorcycle. Poop fell off! Shut Up went to get a police while Manners went to go pick up poop on the ground! The Police asked"what is your names sir?" Shut up awnserd"shut up!" "excuse me?" said the police."Shut Up,god!" Shut up said. "Where are your manners?" said the Police."My manners went to go pick up poop!"

2007-11-22 03:54:25 · 14 answers · asked by Iz L 1

[Yes, you drop it deliberately.]

2007-11-22 03:35:11 · 13 answers · asked by anobium625 6

Wats Micheal Jacksons favorite Chinese food.......

Some young boy ( say it with a chinese accent)

2007-11-22 03:22:37 · 8 answers · asked by Unbiased Laker's Fan 4

Three little girls come out of school one day and the first little girl goes up to her mother and says "Mummy, we talked about names in school today. How did I get my name?"

"Well, sweetheart, just after you were born, a rose petal fell through the window and landed on your head, so we called you Rose."

The second little girl asks her Mummy the same question.

"Well sweetheart, when you were born, a Daisy floated through the window and landed on your head, so we called you Daisy."

The third little girl goes up to her Mummy, and flaps her arm, and says ShojeJIHehuhddd.

And her Mummy says "Shut up, Fridge."

2007-11-22 03:12:12 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous

1 . What do you call a pantry full of lesbians? .. A licker cabinet.

2. What do you call an Eskimo lesbian? . A Klondyke.

3. What do you call 100 lesbians with guns? .... Militia Etheridge.

4. Why can't lesbians diet and wear make-up at the same
time? Because they can't eat Jenny Craig with Mary Kay on
their face.

5. What do you call two lesbians in a canoe? .... Fur Traders.

6. What is a lesbian dinosaur called? . A Lickalotapuss.

7. What do you call a lesbian with long fingers? ... Well Hung.

8. Did you hear that Ellen DeGeneres drowned? ... She was found face down in Ricki Lake.

9. How can you tell a tough lesbian bar? . Even the pool table doesn't have balls.

10. What do you call lesbian twins? .... Lick-a-likes.

11. What's the definition of confusion? . Twenty blind lesbians in a fish market.

12. What's the difference between a Ritz cracker and
a lesbian? One's a snack cracker, the other's a crack snacker

2007-11-22 02:57:33 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

Answer each riddle, even if you have no idea what the answer is. Answer only once. Don't cheat if you find a way to?

What gets wetter and wetter the more it dries?

What can you catch but not throw?

What goes around the world but stays in a corner?

What has holes top, bottom, sides, and middle but holds water?

Give me food and i will live. Give me water and I will die, what am i?

Drop me off the largest building, and i will not break. Put me in water, and i will. what am i?

What can run but never walks. Has a mouth and never talks. Has a head and never weeps, has a bed and never sleeps?

What is broken as soon as its spoken?

What is black, white and red allover?

Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the largest moutain on earth?

2007-11-22 02:56:29 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous

saw you across a crowded room. Among all the others that were there, The lights seemed to shine down on you alone. I knew then I had to have you for my own.

Willingly, you came with me to my home. From the car, I carried you & threw open the door. Looking at you ,I admire your body, your well shaped legs, and breasts.

Slowly I remove what wraps, around your body so tightly, fitting you like a glove. Exposing your tender pale skin. From your neck I remove your charms, and carry you off in my arms,to the warm water that awaits.

The water cascades down your neck, flowing over your soft breasts then, making your legs glisten with wetness. Droplets of water cover your taut skin. My hands rub your body, ummmm running them threw the beads of water. Making them trickle down off your body.

I place my fingers inside you. You are warm and moist, so ready. I carry your still dripping body, to a laying place, so that I can put inside you what was well prepared to enter you before we even came through the door.

As soon as I lay you down your legs spread open wide. You are ready now and so am I. I put a little in slowly at first, getting a feel for how much you can take in. I put in more, you take it willingly.

In anticipation, faster and faster I put it in, pushing it in deeply as far as I can, until I can't put any more in, you are so tight. With your legs wrapped tightly, not wanting to release any of it, I make you so hot for a very long time, until your sweet juices escape from within.

Then I taste you, with my tongue at first, your skin is so soft and tender. I taste more of you with my mouth, you are so hot and moist, you taste so good. Your juices coating my mouth, making me drool in anticipation of eating you more, with every taste.

"Oh yes", I say to you, "I must say Grace!" "Thank God for this Butterball Turkey, Amen."

(You ought to be ashamed of those thoughts you were having)

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

2007-11-22 02:50:12 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

Two women on their way home after a night out, stop in the graveyard for a pee. One wipes herself with her underwear and the other uses a wreath. Their two husbands were in the pub the next day, one says " i'd better watch my wife, she came home last night with no knickers on" the other man says "that's **** all, mine had a card wedged in her **** saying we'll never forget you, from all the boys at the fire station"

2007-11-22 02:43:33 · 14 answers · asked by lasticlegs 4

Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so St. Peter had to tell the first one, "Heaven's getting pretty close to full today, and I've been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible deaths. So what's your story?"

The first man replies: "Well, for a while I've suspected my wife has been cheating on me, so today I came home early to try to catch her red-handed. As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I could tell something was wrong, but all my searching around didn't reveal where this other guy could have been hiding. Finally, I went out to the balcony, and sure enough, there was this man hanging off the railing, 25 floors above ground! By now I was really mad, so I started beating on him and kicking him, but wouldn't you know it, he wouldn't fall off. So finally I went back into my apartment and got a hammer and starting hammering on his fingers. Of course, he couldn't stand that for long, so he let go and fell-but even after 25 stories, he fell into the bushes, stunned but okay. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I ran into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge, and threw it over the edge where it landed on him, killing him instantly. But all the stress and anger got to me, and I had a heart attack and died there on the balchoy."

"That sounds like a pretty bad day to me," said Peter, and let the man in.

The second man comes up and Peter explains to him about heaven being full, and again asks for his story.

"It's been a very strange day. You see, I live on the 26th floor of my apartment building, and every morning I do my exercises out on my balcony. Well, this morning I must have slipped or something, because I fell over the edge. But I got lucky, and caught the railing of the balcony on the floor below me. I knew I couldn't hang on for very long, when suddenly this man burst out onto the balcony. I thought for sure I was saved, when he started beating on me and kicking me. I held on the best I could until he ran into the apartment and grabbed a hammer and started pounding on my hands. Finally I just let go, but again I got lucky and fell into the bushes below, stunned but all right. Just when I was thinking I was going to be okay, this refrigerator comes falling out of the sky and crushes me instantly, and now I'm here."

Once again, Peter had to concede that that sounded like a pretty horrible death.

The third man came to the front of the line, and St. Peter asked for his story.

"Picture this," says the third man, "I'm hiding naked inside a refrigerator..."

2007-11-22 02:41:46 · 11 answers · asked by ♪♥ ginger spice ♥♪ 3

The other day I went to the local religious book store, where I saw a HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS bumper sticker. I bought it and put it on the back bumper of my car, and I'm really glad I did. What an uplifting experience followed!

I was stopped at the light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord, and didn't notice that the light had changed. That bumper sticker really worked! I found lots of people who love Jesus. Why, the guy behind me started to honk like crazy. He must REALLY love the Lord because pretty soon, he leaned out his window and yelled, "Jesus Christ!" as loud as he could. It was like a football game with him shouting, "GO JESUS CHRIST, GO!!!"

Everyone else started honking, too, so I leaned out my window and waved and smiled to all of those loving people. There must have been a guy from Florida back there because I could hear him yelling something about a sunny beach, and saw him waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. I asked my two kids what that meant. They kind of squirmed, looked at each other, giggled and told me that it was the Hawaiian good luck sign. So, I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign back.

Several cars behind, a very nice man stepped out of his car and yelled something. I couldn't hear him very well, but it sounded like, "Mother trucker," or "Mother's from there." Maybe he was from Florida, too. He must really love the Lord. A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and were walking toward me. I bet they wanted to pray, but just then I noticed that the light had changed to yellow, and stepped on the gas. And a good thing I did, because I was the only driver to get across the intersection. I looked back at them standing there. I leaned way out the window, gave them a big smile and held up the Hawaiian good luck sign as I drove away.

2007-11-22 02:33:18 · 14 answers · asked by wee suzie 4

When Dan found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with. So one evening he went to a singles bar where he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away "I may look like just an ordinary man," he said as he walked up to her, "but in just a week or two, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars."

Impressed, the woman went home with him that evening and, three days later, she became his stepmother.

Women are so much smarter than men.

HaHa

2007-11-22 02:29:26 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous

A married couple in their 60's are visited by a fairy who grants them both a wish. "i want to travel round the world with my darling husband" said the wife. Two tickets for a luxury cruise magically appear in her hand. The husband says " sorry love but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me". So the fairy waves her wand and the husband becomes 92.
Moral of the story Ungrateful men should remember fairies are female!!

2007-11-22 02:20:23 · 16 answers · asked by lasticlegs 4

If you've ever worked for a boss that reacts before getting the
facts and thinking things through, you will love this!

A large company, feeling it was time for a shake-up, hired a new
CEO.
The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers.
On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning on a
wall.
The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he
meant business.
He walked up to the guy leaning against the wall and asked, "How
much money do you make a week?"
A little surprised, the young man looked at him and replied, "I
make $400 a week. Why?"
The CEO then handed the guy $1,600 in cash and screamed, "Here's
four weeks' pay, now GET OUT and don't come back."
Feeling pretty good about himself, the CEO looked around the room
and asked, "Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-ball did
here?"

From across the room came a voice, "Pizza delivery guy from
Domino's."

2007-11-22 02:16:39 · 19 answers · asked by Marcus M 4

Harley davidson died, went to heaven and was boasting to god how he'd created the best motor bike in the world! God disagreed, saying BMW's were a better designed bike. Harley said " what the **** do you know about design, you created women and look at the problems we have with them!!" "Ahem" says god " i think you'll find a lot more men riding my creation than yours!"

2007-11-22 02:13:54 · 8 answers · asked by lasticlegs 4

A few months after his parents were divorced, little Johnny
passed by his mom's bedroom and saw her rubbing her
body and moaning, "I need a man, I need a man!"


Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several
times. One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning.
When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her.
Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw
himself on his bed, started stroking himself, and moaning:
"Ohh, I need a bike! Ahh, I need a bike!"

2007-11-22 02:13:32 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

As Camilla was making last minute preparations to walk
down the aisle, she found that her shoes were missing. She was forced to borrow
her sister's, which were a bit on the small side. When
the day's festivities were finally over, Charles and Camilla retired to their room,
right next door to the Queen's and Prince Phillip's. As soon as Charles and Camilla were inside their room, Camilla
flopped on the bed and said, "Darling, please get these shoes
off, my feet are killing me." The ever obedient Prince of Wales attacked the right shoe
with vigour, but it was stuck fast. "Harder!" Camilla yelled. "Harder!"
"I'm trying, darling!", the Prince yelled
back, "It's just so bloody tight! "Come on! Give it all you've got!" There was a big groan from the Prince, and then Camilla exclaimed,
"There! That's it! Oh, that feels good! Oh that
feels SOOO good!" In the bedroom next door, the Queen turned to Prince Phillip
and said,

2007-11-22 02:10:53 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

Two voices; male and female; seated on a plane

“I think everyone’s asleep; lets go”

Sound of steps.

“This one’s empty … no one’s looking … you go in first”

“It a bit cramped - let me sit down”

“Have you got the condom?

“Quick, put it on”

Sniff sniff

“Ah perfume - you think of everything”

“This is great…..” (long sigh)

Static on the loud speaker then a new voice.

“This is the captain speaking to those two people in the
rear toilet.

We know what you’re doing and it is expressly forbidden
by airline regulations.

Now put those cigarettes out and take the condom off the
smoke detector!”

2007-11-22 02:07:42 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous

John met Sharon in a nightclub. They enjoyed each other's company very much &
at the end of the evening Sharon invited John to her place,
where they quickly got involved in a very passionate &
energetic session in bed together. Finally, tired and satisfied, they both lay back in the
bed & snuggled up close to each other. After a short while, Sharon began tenderly stroking John's
manhood.

Surprised but appreciative, John comments, "Surely you can't be ready for more already?"


Sharon replies, "No, but every now & then I get
a bit nostalgic, & I miss the days when I had mine."

2007-11-22 02:02:35 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

60 Californians put on sweaters (if they can find one in
their wardrobe).

50 Miami residents turn on the heat.

40 You can see your breath. Californians shiver uncontrollably.
Minnesotans go swimming.

35 Italian cars don't start.

32 Water freezes.

30 You plan your vacation to Australia. Minnesotans put
on T-shirts. Politicians begin to worry about the homeless.
British cars don't start.

25 Boston water freezes. Californians weep pitiably.
Minnesotans eat ice cream. Canadians go swimming.

20 You can hear your breath. Politicians begin to talk about
the homeless. New York City water freezes. Miami residents
plan vacation further south.

15 French cars don't start. You plan a vacation in Mexico.
Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you.

10 Too cold to ski. You need jumper cables to get the car going.


5 You plan your vacation in Houston. American cars don't
start.

0 Alaskans put on T-shirts. Too cold to skate.

2007-11-22 01:56:59 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

what do Micheal Jaskson and a playstation both have in common?

Their both plastic and get turned on by kids

2007-11-22 01:47:06 · 18 answers · asked by Paige 2

10 - YOU CAN TRADE IN AN OLD 44 FOR A NEW 22, NO QUESTIONS ASKED.

9 - YOU CAN KEEP ONE HANDGUN AT HOME, AND HAVE ANOTHER FOR WHEN YOU'RE
ON THE ROAD.

8 - IF YOU ADMIRE A FRIEND'S HANDGUN AND TELL HIM SO, HE WILL PROBABLY LET YOU TRY IT OUT A FEW TIMES.

7 - YOUR PRIMARY HANDGUN DOESN'T MIND IF YOU KEEP ANOTHER HANDGUN FOR A BACK UP.

6 - YOUR HANDGUN WILL STAY WITH YOU EVEN IF YOU RUN OUT OF AMMO.

5 - A HANDGUN DOESN'T TAKE UP A LOT OF CLOSET SPACE.

4 - HANDGUNS FUNCTION NORMALLY EVERY DAY OF THE MONTH.

3 - A HANDGUN DOESN'T ASK, "DO THESE NEW GRIPS MAKE ME LOOK FAT?"

2 - A HANDGUN DOESN'T MIND IF YOU GO TO SLEEP AFTER YOU USE IT.

1 - YOU CAN BUY A SILENCER FOR A HANDGUN.

2007-11-22 01:41:58 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

The england football team are changing the emblem on the shirts. The 3 lions will now become 3 tampons to celebrate their worst period in history!

2007-11-22 01:36:10 · 14 answers · asked by lasticlegs 4

A rabbit one day managed to break free from the laboratory where he had been born and brought up. As he scurried away from the fencing of the compound, he felt grass under his little feet and saw the dawn breaking for the first time in his life. "Wow, this is great," he thought. It wasn't long before he came to a hedge and, after squeezing under it he saw a wonderful sight: lots of other bunny rabbits, all free, having fun and nibbling at the lush grass.

Hey," he called. "I'm a rabbit from the laboratory and I've just escaped. Are you wild rabbits?"

"Yes. Come and join us," they cried. Our friend hopped over to them and started eating the grass. It tasted so good, unlike his tasteless food he grew up with. "What else do you wild rabbits do?" he asked. "Well," one of them said. "You see that field there? It's got carrots growing in it. We dig them up and eat them." This he couldn't resist and he spent the next hour eating the most succulent carrots. They were wonderful. Later, he asked them again, "What else do you do?"

"You see that field there? It's got lettuce growing in it. We eat them as well." The lettuce tasted just as good and he returned a while later completely full. "Is there anything else you guys do?" he asked. One of the other rabbits came a bit closer to him and spoke softly. "There's one other thing you must try. You see those rabbits there," he said, pointing to the far corner of the field. "They're girls. We shag them. Go and try it." Well, our friend spent the rest of the morning screwing his little heart out until, completely knackered, he staggered back over to the guys. "That was fantastic," he panted. "So are you going to live with us then?" one of them asked. "I'm sorry, I had a great time but I can't." The wild rabbits all stared at him, a bit surprised. "Why? We thought you liked it here."

"I do," our friend replied. "But I must get back to the laboratory. I'm dying for a cigarette."

2007-11-22 01:34:24 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous

Women are like guns. Keep one around long enough and you are going to want to shoot it.

Q: If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? A: The dog of course ... at least he’ll shut up after you let him in! One golfer tells another: "Hey, guess what! I got a set of golf clubs for my wife!" The other replies: "GREAT trade!"

All wives are alike, but they have different faces so you can tell them apart.

Q: How many men does it take to open a beer?

A: None. It should be opened by the time she brings it in.

Q: What’s worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?

A: A woman that won’t do what she’s told!

Q: How many women does it take to paint a wall?

A: It depends on how hard you throw them.

Q: What do you call a woman with two brain cells?

A: Pregnant.

I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.

Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.

I haven’t spoken to my wife for 18 months - I don’t like to interrupt her.

Women are so unreasonable! My wife gets mad at me because every Saturday night I take a bath with bubbles in it. I mean, if Bubbles doesn’t mind, why should she?

2007-11-22 01:30:15 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

Q: Do you know the punishment for bigamy?

A: Two mothers-in-law.

Q: Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?

A: Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.

Q: Did you hear they finally made a device that makes cars run 95% quieter?

A: Yeah, it fits right over her mouth.

Q: Why are hangovers better than women?

A: Hangovers will go away.

Q: Why do women have smaller feet than men?

A: So they can stand closer to the sink.

Q: How do you know when a woman’s about to say something smart?

A: When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me...."

Q: How do you fix a woman’s watch?

A: You don’t...there is a clock on the oven.

Q: Why do men pass gas more than women?

A: Because women won’t shut up long enough to build up pressure.

Q: Why were shopping carts invented?

A: To teach women to walk on their hind legs.

2007-11-22 01:28:14 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

Good girls say "thanks for a wonderful dinner"... Bad girls say, "what’s for breakfast?"

Good girls never go after another girl’s man... Bad girls go after him AND his brother.

Good girls wear white cotton panties... Bad girls don’t wear any.

Good girls wax their floors... Bad girls wax their bikini lines.

Good girls loosen a few buttons when it’s hot... Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons.

Good girls make chicken for dinner... Bad girls make reservations

Good girls blush during bedrooms scenes in movies... Bad girls

know they could do better

Good girls never consider sleeping with the boss... Bad girls never do either, unless he’s very, very rich.

Good girls believe they’re not fully dressed without a strand of pearls... Bad girls believe that they are fully dressed with JUST a strand of pearls.

Good girls love Italian food... Bad girls love Italian waiters.

Good girls prefer the missionary position... Bad girls do too-when acting out a "virgin" fantasy.

Good girls pack their toothbrush... Bad girls pack their diaphragms.

Good girls save for a rainy day... Bad girls save for a Chanel suit.

Good girls own only one credit card and rarely use it... Bad girls own only one bra and rarely use it.

Good girls wear high heels to work... Bad girls wear high heels to bed.

Good girls think the office is the wrong place to have a romance... Bad girls think NO place is the wrong place.

Good girls have stocks... Bad girls have stockbrokers.

Good girls collect silk shirts... Bad girls collect chiffon teddies.

Good girls just say no... Bad girls just say when.

Good girls never do "it" on the first date... Bad girls wait to see what kind of car he’s driving.

Good girls read best-sellers... Bad girls sleep with their authors.

Good girls write condolence notes... Bad girls marry the widower.

2007-11-22 01:23:30 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's s*x drive by 90%!!! Its called wedding cake.

In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created man, and rested. Then God created woman. Since then neither God nor man have rested.

A man inserted an advertisement in the classified. In read: "Wife Wanted" The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: You can have mine.

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

What's worse than a male chauvinist pig? A women who won't do what she's told.

What do you call a woman who just lost 90% of her intelligence? Divorced.

2007-11-22 01:20:47 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

A bus stops to let on a passenger. This attractive lady steps
onto the bus and puts her right thumb to her nose and wiggles
her fingers without saying a word. The bus driver puts his
right thumb to his nose and his left thumb to the palm of his
right hand and wiggles all eight of his fingers. The woman
then looks a bit confused and in silence grabs her boobs.
The bus driver in a growing lack of patience grabs his balls,
the woman then turns around, grabs her *** and struts off
the bus.

A frequent passenger who sits at the front of the bus looks
to the driver, and says, "Tom, I've been riding
your bus for quite a few years now and I've never seen
anything as vulgar as this! I'm going to have to ride
a different route!"

Tom, the driver, looks to the woman sitting in the front
seat and replies, "You are mistaken, that woman was
deaf. She asked me if this bus was headed for 5th. street,
I said, 'no, 10th street.'

2007-11-22 01:17:42 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous