Women are like guns. Keep one around long enough and you are going to want to shoot it.
Q: If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? A: The dog of course ... at least he’ll shut up after you let him in! One golfer tells another: "Hey, guess what! I got a set of golf clubs for my wife!" The other replies: "GREAT trade!"
All wives are alike, but they have different faces so you can tell them apart.
Q: How many men does it take to open a beer?
A: None. It should be opened by the time she brings it in.
Q: What’s worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A: A woman that won’t do what she’s told!
Q: How many women does it take to paint a wall?
A: It depends on how hard you throw them.
Q: What do you call a woman with two brain cells?
A: Pregnant.
I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.
Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.
I haven’t spoken to my wife for 18 months - I don’t like to interrupt her.
Women are so unreasonable! My wife gets mad at me because every Saturday night I take a bath with bubbles in it. I mean, if Bubbles doesn’t mind, why should she?
2007-11-22 01:30:15 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Hmmm.... Looks like you have to be on your best behaviour for the wife. If only she knew what you were up to while she was away............... Lol. Only joking.
2007-11-22 01:33:34 · answer #1 · answered by .... 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied, "Yes, I am, I married the wrong man."
After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."
A lady inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Husband wanted". Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful
Right back atcha !!! :)
2007-11-22 01:41:34 · answer #2 · answered by artistagent116 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Those were good! However, I don't get the paint the wall joke.
2007-11-22 01:38:03 · answer #3 · answered by junsumoney 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very funny
2007-11-22 01:33:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's another...
What do you say to a woman with two black eyes...
nothing, you've already told her twice.
lol that is sooooo bad & I don't condone violence but its still funny.
2007-11-22 01:34:30 · answer #5 · answered by Meeeee! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
haha
2007-11-22 01:36:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thanks for the morning chuckles.
2007-11-22 01:34:36 · answer #7 · answered by Aloha_Ann 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋