25 Reasons I Owe My Mom Or Dad...funny ?

Question

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside.
I just finished cleaning."


2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."



3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to
knock you into the middle of next week!"


4. My mother taught me LOGIC. " Because I said so, that's why."


5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck,
you're not going to the store with me."


6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're
in an accident."


7. My mother taught me IRONY "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to
cry about."


8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."


9. My mot her taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10 My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."



11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through
it."


12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times.
Don't exaggerate!"


13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."



14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!"


15. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in
this world who don't have wonderful parents like you
do."


16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home."


17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!"


18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are
going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when
you are cold?"


20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't
come running to me."


21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll
never grow up."


22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."


23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born
in a barn?"


24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."



25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn
out just like you!"

Answer 1

excellent this one definitely deserves a star!

Answer 2

attractive! in case you have fairly some stress and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take 2 Aspirin" and "save faraway from infants." You spend the 1st 2 years of their existence coaching them to stroll and communicate. then you certainly spend the subsequent sixteen years telling them to take a seat down and close-up. Grandchildren are God's reward to you for no longer killing your infants. mothers of young infants understand why some animals consume their youthful. infants seldom misquote you. in actuality, they many times repeat word for word what you shouldn't have pronounced. the main important purpose of protecting youngster's events is to remind your self that there are youngsters greater undesirable than your own. We new child proofed our abode 3 years in the past and that they are nonetheless stepping into! Be severe high quality on your infants. sometime, they are going to choose on your nursing abode.

Answer 3

no dad ones...like...(for my dad)

My dad taught me how to work like my life depends on it..."Do the laundry or no supper!"

kinda sucky i know...=P good ones cheers.

Answer 4

thats really good and the scary thing is

most of them are true as wel well my mum says some of them haha :] ^____^

Answer 5

excellent hun

starr 4u

Answer 6

Worth the read.... i like it

Answer 7

hahaha,very funny

Answer 8

I heard everyone of those and used them on my own kids. They all brought back memories. thanks

Answer 9

Hahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!! Too funny!

Answer 10

like it!