Jokes & Riddles - October 2007

Riddle # 1: I am slim and tall,
Many find me desirable and appealing,
They touch me and I give a false good feeling,
Once I shine in splendor,
But only once and then no more,
For many I am "to die for".

What Am I ?


Riddle # 2 : Only one color, but not one size,
Stuck at the bottom, yet easily flies,
Present in sun, but not in rain,
Doing no harm, and feeling no pain.

What am I?

Riddle # 2: No legs have I to dance,
No lungs have I to breathe,
No life have I to live or die
And yet I do all three.

What am I?

Guess the Answer And Make Sure Everyones Email Thing Is Open For Me To Email U If U Got Your answer Right! Or give me a email i can email u if u got it right!


p.s if u don't get it right i will tell u in the email ! or Come back l8r and i will add the answer as ''add details'' i hope u enjoyed them ! Please star!

2007-10-11 13:05:47 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

What did the ghost want on his bagel??

Scream Cheese!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-10-11 13:02:02 · 11 answers · asked by Melody-Lynn 3

if you think this is funny can i have a star :)

Singing Fish
Jimmy: 'Hey, Mike! How's your new pet fish doing? You told me he was really something special.'

Mike: 'To tell the truth, I'm really disappointed in him. The guy who sold him to me said I could teach him to sing like a bird.'

Jimmy: 'What? Let me get this straight... You bought a fish because you thought you could teach him to sing like a bird?'

Mike: 'Well, yeah. After all, you know, he's a parrot fish.'

Jimmy: 'Now listen, Mike, while you might be able to teach a parrot to sing, you're never going to get anywhere with a parrot fish.'

Mike: 'That's what you think! It just so happens this fish CAN sing. The thing is, he's terribly off-key and it's driving me
crazy. Do you know how hard it is to tuna fish?'

2007-10-11 12:49:16 · 8 answers · asked by misspa 3

ex: Wash Ington

2007-10-11 12:14:46 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

So, who can figure out what I'm eating for dinner?

Some hints: There are no veggies or meat involved. And it's real food (not chips/candy).

Good Luck!!!

2007-10-11 12:14:38 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the rascally behavior that was going on. So he called one of His angels and sent the angel to Earth for a time.

When he returned, he told God, "Yes, it is bad on Earth; 95% are misbehaving and only 5% are not.

God thought for a moment and said, "Maybe I had better send down a second angel to get another opinion."

So God called another angel and sent him to Earth for a time.

When the angel returned he went to God and said, "Yes, it's true. The Earth is in decline; 95% are misbehaving, but 5% are being good."

God was not pleased. So He decided to e-mail the 5% that were good, because he wanted to encourage them, and give them a little something to help them keep going.

Do you know what the e-mail said?


Okay , I was just wondering, because I didn't get one either.

2007-10-11 11:54:28 · 13 answers · asked by Sangy . 4

Whoever answers this first correctly gets the best answer.

Five Greek soldiers were marching in single file, and each was carrying a different weapon. Use the following clues to figure out who carried which weapon and in what order they were marching.

a) Themistocles marched just behind Alexander
b) Alcibades was just behind THucydides and ahead of Philip.
c) The man with the sword was just in just in frond of the man with the separ, but he was no first in line.
d) The last man in line carried neither the bow and arrow nor the slingshot.
e) ALcibades carried neither the sword nor the sarissa.
f) The man who marched first carried neither the sarissa nor the slingshot
g) The man carrying the spear came before Alcibiades

2007-10-11 11:34:21 · 9 answers · asked by Immortal Syther 1

....he says....this is the pig I have to sleep with when i`me not with you....the wife says,....`I think you`ll find dear that is a sheep!....he says....I think you`ll find dear....i`me talking to the sheep!!!!....xxxx

2007-10-11 11:25:01 · 19 answers · asked by Michelle o 2

1 of my friend hate Harry Potter so he gave one of the book a new title :

HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-GAY PRINCE

2007-10-11 11:23:32 · 8 answers · asked by ★Star Girl★™ 6

Besides little rocks

2007-10-11 11:18:09 · 12 answers · asked by heatishellinflorida 2

If you solve it correctly, you will be my 5 STAR BEST ANSWERER!! YAY ALL OF YOU!!!

2007-10-11 11:09:05 · 9 answers · asked by ♫♪♥Camp Rock♥♪♫ 2

ok the word has to have way in it and the clue is greyhound competition not the greyhound dog the bus

2007-10-11 11:08:03 · 5 answers · asked by Nm_sunny 2

this kid who thinks he is so cool and stuff in the hallway always calls me a retard as a joke.
what should i say back to him or say to him that would make my diss so much better and make me win.
got any good disses or insults to say to him or even something that would make him sound stupid and make me sound smart?

2007-10-11 10:36:15 · 8 answers · asked by (; 3

2007-10-11 10:33:43 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

A young Technician and his General Manager board a train headed through the mountains on its

way to Wichita. They can find no place to sit except for two seats right across the aisle from a

young woman and her grandmother.

After a while, it is obvious that the young woman and the young tech are interested in each other,

because they are giving each other looks.

Soon the train passes into a tunnel and it is pitch black. There is a sound of a kiss followed by the

sound of a slap. When the train emerges from the tunnel, the four sit there without saying a word.

The grandmother is thinking to herself, "It was very brash for that young man to kiss my

granddaughter, but I'm glad she slapped him."

The General manager is setting there thinking, "I didn't know the young tech was brave enough to

kiss the girl, but I sure wish she hadn't missed him when she slapped and hit me!"

2007-10-11 10:32:47 · 7 answers · asked by Haitham Emad 7

A man was stopped by a game warden in Northern Algonquin Park with two buckets of fish, leaving

a lake well known for a good catch.
The game warden asked the man, “Do you have a license to catch those fish?”
The man replied to the game warden, “No, sir. These are my pet fish.”
“Pet fish?!” the warden replied.
“Yes, sir. Every night I take these here fish down to the lake and let them swim around for a while.

I whistle and jump back into their buckets, and I take ‘em home.”
“That’s a bunch of hooey! Fish can’t do that!”
The man looked at the game warden for a moment and then said, “Here, I’ll show you. It really

works.”
“Ok, I’ve got to see this!” The game warden was curious.
The man poured the fish in to the river and stood and waited. After several minutes, the game

warden turned to the man and said, “Well?”
“Well, what?” the man responded.
“When are you going to call them back?” the game warden prompted.
“Call who back?” the man asked.
“The FISH”
“What fish?” the man asked.

2007-10-11 10:29:38 · 6 answers · asked by Haitham Emad 7

Randomly, he will just say, "your mom", and I was wondering without getting into yo momma jokes how I can say something totally sarcastic and funny, without losing the whole funniness of the moment? No yo momma jokes!

2007-10-11 10:23:13 · 6 answers · asked by Allie 2

1 said to the other 'Can u smell carrots?'

2007-10-11 10:22:50 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

It's true, I went to bed last night as a married man with two kids and woke up this morning an acne-faced 16-year old girl in high school. Nobody will believe me!

What can I do?

2007-10-11 10:21:58 · 10 answers · asked by It's the hair 5

I. "In the moring i walk with four foot, in the afternoon i walk with two foots and in the night i walk with three foot" what am I ___

II. "You buy you cook it but you don't eat" What am I ________

III. "It run without feet to the mouth that never talks" what am i __

IV. " You are at a river. with you are a chicken, a wolf and a bag full of grains. you have to cross the river in your canoe but can only take one with you at a time.
you cant leave the chicken with the grain.he will eat it.
you cant leave the wolf with the chicken.he will eat it."
how will you get everything over and intact?

V. "what black and white and red all over" ______

2007-10-11 10:02:11 · 11 answers · asked by Pyro 3

SEE IF YOU CAN ANSWER THiS TRICKY QUESTION>>>

What is the largest sum of money you can have in coins and not be able to make change for a dollar? Give the number of each type of coin you will have.

2007-10-11 09:57:41 · 7 answers · asked by Rachel E 1

This Jewish guy goes to see the head Rabi " I'm worried " he says " I've got to see the tax man next week and I'm getting conflicting advice on how to behave, some say put on an old warn out suite, old dirty shoes and so on, and tell the tax man I have no money at the moment but as soon as I get some I will pay up. others say wear your best outfit new shoes and tell him not to worry the moneys comeing in and I will pay the tax bill shortly. What do I do?" " My daughter is getting married next week as you know" said the Rabi " And she came to me with a similar problem " What do I wear on my wedding night?" she said " Do I put on a see through nighty and little panties or play the virgin and wear a long cotten nighty?" I'll tell you what I told her, it doesn't matter what you wear your going to get f**ked.-

2007-10-11 09:48:22 · 1 answers · asked by Anonymous

its kewl how ur brain can read that!

2007-10-11 09:41:12 · 7 answers · asked by Kelsey 2

Your home is ten times more likely to have a fire than be burglarized!

There are more bacteria in your mouth than there are people in the world.

Chained dogs are 3 times more likely to bite than unchained dogs.

The mask used by Michael Myers in the original 'Halloween' was actually a Captain Kirk mask painted white.

It took 20,000 men 22 years to build the Taj Mahal.

Coconuts kill more people in the world than sharks do. Approximately 150 people are killed each year by coconuts.

Dragonflies have six legs but cannot walk!

Months that begin on a Sunday will always have a 'Friday the 13th'.

Slugs have 4 noses.

It snowed in the Sahara desert on February 18, 1979.

An adult giraffe's tongue is 17 inches long.

A rainbow can only be seen in the morning or late afternoon.

The sloth (a mammal) moves so slowly that green algae can grow undisturbed on its fur.

Virgina Woolf wrote all her books standing.

Women buy four out of every 10 condoms sold.

2007-10-11 09:33:52 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

Q.Where can women over the age of 50 find young,sexy men,who are interested in them?
A.Try a bookstore under fiction.

Q.What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A.Keep busy.If you're handy with tools,you can finish the basement.When you are done,you will have a place to live.

Q.How can you increase the heartrate of your 50+ yr.old husband?
A.Tell him you're prenant.

Q.How can you avoid spotting a wrinkle every time you walk by a mirror?
A.The next time you're in front of a mirror,take off your glasses.

Q.Why should 50+ yr.old people use valet parking?
A.Valets don't forget where they park your car.

Q.Is it common for 50+ yr.olds to have problems with short term memory storage?
A.Storing memory is not a prob.,retrieving it is a prob.

Q.As people age,do they sleep more soundly?
A.Yes,but usually in the afternoon.

Q.Where do 50+ yr.olds look for fashionable glasses?
A.Their foreheads.

2007-10-11 09:31:14 · 3 answers · asked by Nancy M 7

Three Virgin daughters !!!

A Mother had 3 virgin daughters and they were all getting married within a short time period. Because Mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started, she made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex felt.

The First girl sent a card from Hawaii two days after the wedding. The card said nothing but "Nescafe." Mom was puzzled at first, but then went to the kitchen and got out the Nescafe jar. It said: Good till the last drop." Mom blushed, but was pleased for her daughter.

The Second girl sent the card from Vermont a week after the wedding, and the card read: "Benson & Hedges". Mom now knew to go straight to her husbands' cigarettes, and she read the Benson & Hedges pack: "Extra Long, King Size." She was again slightly embarrassed but still happy for her daughter.

The Third girl left for her honeymoon in the Caribbean . Mom waited for a week, nothing. Another week went by and still nothing. Then after a whole month, a card finally arrived. Written on it with shaky handwriting were the words "British Airways." Mom took out her latest Harper's Bazaar magazine, flipped through the pages fearing the worst, and finally found the ad for British Airways. The ad said: Three times a day, seven days a week, both ways." Mom fainted...!!

2007-10-11 09:02:27 · 27 answers · asked by ? 5

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and "The Titanic"?
A: They know how many men went down on "The Titanic".

Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?
A: So brunettes can remember them.

Q: Why did God create blondes?
A: Cos sheep can't bring beer from the fridge.


Q. Why don't blondes eat pickles?
A. Because they can't get their head in the jar.

Q. What's the mating call of the blonde?
A. "I'm *sooo* drunk!"

Q: Why can't you tell blondes knock-knock jokes?
A: Because they go answer the door.

Q: Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every month?
A: Because it says on the box: "good for up to 20 pounds."

2007-10-11 08:32:19 · 22 answers · asked by Jim Jnr M 6

2 pilots are flying a plane. They speak 2 different languages and do not understand each other. 1 notices that the plane is at a very low altitude and trys to inform the other but the other pilot does not understand him, and thinks that he is saying that the plane is to high, goes low and the plane crashes.

Whos fault is it that the plane crashed?

2007-10-11 08:30:28 · 9 answers · asked by Mr. Dog 4

him to read it thoroughly.it says;
1; please dont talk to my breasts as you wont be meeting them
2 ;if you want to control someone sleep with the remote
3; i always choose chocolate over men-always
4; 51%love goddeess 49%b*tch
5; my sexual preference is no
6; my body is a temple,now get on your knees and pray
7; its not the size that counts its......no wait,size does count
8; remember you horny piece of dirt,girls are made of sugar and spice and all things nice
9; men are like hardwood floors,lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them forever
10;save your breath for your inflatable date

2007-10-11 08:24:59 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

A blonde grabbed a large thermos and hurried to a nearby coffee shop.
She held up the thermos and the coffee shop worker quickly came over to take her order.
"Is this big enough to hold six cups of coffee?" the blonde asked.
The coffee shop worker looked at the thermos, hesitated a few seconds, then finally replied, "Yeah. It looks like about six cups to me."
"Oh good!" the blonde sighed in relief. "Then give me two regular, two black, and two decaf."

Q: How do you hit a blonde and she will never know it
A: with a thought

Q: Why do blondes wear green lipstick?
A: Because red means stop.

2007-10-11 08:20:31 · 17 answers · asked by Jim Jnr M 6