Jokes & Riddles - March 2007

2007-03-01 10:27:18 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

apologizes the offending golfer. “Here, take a shot a mine!”

2007-03-01 10:24:03 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-03-01 10:24:03 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous

i have this project where u hav 2 write a funny tombstone verse. 4 example:Here's whats left of leslie moore nothin les nothin more. get it, nothing less nothing more. well i cant think of any, could u help me?

2007-03-01 10:21:22 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

.... It,s a good job it doesn,t happen the other way round!

2007-03-01 10:18:08 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-03-01 10:16:18 · 9 answers · asked by PangiBear 2

A woman walks down the aisle as A LADY but comes back up the aisle as A MAN.

2007-03-01 10:13:58 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

more legroom.
mite as well jump on the blonde joke bandwagon

2007-03-01 10:12:50 · 15 answers · asked by Fran G 4

whats more painful- childbirth or a right solid volley in the sac?
i reckon this mite attract quite a lot of answers....

2007-03-01 10:09:25 · 35 answers · asked by Fran G 4

A man met a blonde in a bar, and after a few drinks they went back to her place and had wild, passionate sex. " I guess that was just about the best sex you ever had," he said when thay were done.
"What makes you say that?" she asked.
"Well," he replied," "while we were doing it, I couldn't help but to notice how I made your toes curl."
"Oh," she said, "that was because most men take off my panty hose first."

2007-03-01 10:06:08 · 14 answers · asked by denny 4

2007-03-01 10:03:34 · 18 answers · asked by rickman_luis 4

i am a happily married mother of two and am fully aware of the birds and the bees, thats what happens when you're bored on here!!! but he whats a girl to do xxx

2007-03-01 09:55:59 · 17 answers · asked by Sazzle Knight 2

On a recent transatlantic flight an aeroplane passess through a severe storm, the turbulance is awful, things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning.

One woman in particular loses it, screaming she stands up

"I'm to young to die"she wails

Then she yells "Well if I'm going to die I want my last minutes to be memorable! is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN"

For a moment there is silence, everyone forgets their own peril
all stare and are riveted at the desperate woman in the front of the plane.

Then a Greek man stands up, he is gorgeous, tall, well built with dark brown hair and hazel eyes

He starts to walk slowly up the isle................ unbuttoning his shirt

........one button at a time

..............No one moves

.............He removes his shirt

..............Muscles ripple accross his chest

..............She gasps

...............He whispers







..................."Iron This"

2007-03-01 09:51:23 · 23 answers · asked by st.abbs 5

What kind of dogs are the best with children?
Baby setters!

What do you call a black Eskimo dog ?
A dusky husky !

What is the best time to take a Rottweiler for a walk ?
Any times he wants to !

What is the only breed of dog a boxer is afraid of?
A Doberman puncher!

What has eighteen legs and fetches a ball?
The Philadelphia Beagles!

What kind of dog can you best see in the dark?
A glowberman pinscher!

What is a collie puppy's favorite toy?
A chew-chew train!

What kind of dog does a vampire prefer ?
Any kind of bloodhound.

2007-03-01 09:39:35 · 11 answers · asked by chris w. 7

Today in my civics class, my teacher (I'll call him mr. l) called 1 of his friends in New York (I'll call him Bob). Mr. l put the cell phone on speaker phone and said o.k. somebody tell Bob a major city in the U.S. Mr. l walked out of the classroom so he could not hear which city was said. One of the students said Las Vegas. When Mr. l came back into the classroom, Bob gave him clues to which city it was, it was Mr. l's job to figure out what city it was. The only clues Bob gave was " your going to stay one day in Siler City (the town in nc that i live in) and then your going to stay 3 days in New York City. After these two clues were given, Mr. l said oh, I'm going to Las Vegas.

Does anybody know how he guessed it from just those two clues? Please Help, its driving me crazy

thanks in advance
10 pts 2 best help

2007-03-01 09:35:24 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

As funny as possible, as cad needs some new jokes to steal.The winner gets to spend the night with British and rude(Please god let their be a very funny, massive gay, black body builder out their)the loser gets to spend it with Cad at Cad towers.Funny as possible please...............

2007-03-01 09:34:55 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

Cold ones

what is stronger an elephant or a snail...a snail he carries his house an elephant carries only his trunk.

whats grey beautiful and wears glass slippers. cinderellephant..

Doctor my elephant isn't well.do you know a good animal doctor....no all the doctors i know are people...

what did the grape say when the elephant stood on it...nothing it just let out a little wine..

2007-03-01 09:34:46 · 9 answers · asked by chris w. 7

Because they can never pass the Bar

2007-03-01 09:27:48 · 8 answers · asked by Chi-Girli 3

Or, in if you don't know, how WOULD you fight him/her?

2007-03-01 09:27:38 · 15 answers · asked by ♥ Jazzy™♥ 1

2007-03-01 09:26:50 · 7 answers · asked by SUSIE 2

open toad..

What do frogs do with paper...rip.it.....

How does a frog feel when he has a broken leg....unhoppy

what did the frog order at Macdonalds...French flies and a diet croak.....

why did the frog go to the hospital...he needed a hopperation..

2007-03-01 09:20:19 · 16 answers · asked by chris w. 7

A skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees
this HUGE black guy standing next to him. The black guy sees the
little guy staring at him, looks down and says: "7' 2" tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, Turner Brown."

The white man faints dead away and falls to the floor. The black guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him. The big fellow says, "What's wrong with you?" "Are you OK?"
In a weak voice the little guy says,
"What did you say to me again?"

The man says, "I saw the way you were looking at me so I figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions every one always asks me. I'm 7'2" tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch penis, my left testicle weighs 3 pounds, my right testicle weighs 3 pounds and my name is Turner Brown."

The little guy says, "Turner Brown? Thank God!!!

I thought you said 'Turn around.' "

2007-03-01 09:15:15 · 16 answers · asked by Chi-Girli 3

2007-03-01 09:10:42 · 9 answers · asked by gabrielle G 1

A chicken farmer has figured out that a hen and a half can lay an egg and a half in a day and a half. How many hens does the farmer need to produce one dozen eggs in six days?

2007-03-01 09:05:32 · 12 answers · asked by talofa lava 2

it's called the whiskey diet?
ive lost 3 days already.

2007-03-01 09:04:29 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

There was this clever scientist who successfully cloned himself. The clone was a perfect duplicate right down to the last detail. The scientist was rather proud of his accomplishment and decided to turn his clone loose on the world. After studying his creation the scientist discovered a flaw in his twin. I t seemed everytime the clone came into contact with somebody the clone cursed and spouted off vulgarities especially to women. Well the scientist was arrested for disturbing the peace,but they arrested the wrong one.
while the original scientist was making bail, the other was continuing his verbal assault on the public. Meanwhile the creator of this maniac was planning a way to end this madness. He eventually lured his clone to the top of a tall building. The scientist, after hearing a stream of profanity pushed his twin off the roof.
When the police arrived they led the scientist away in handcuffs and charged him with making an obscene clone fall.

2007-03-01 08:56:47 · 7 answers · asked by molly 6

In an exceptionally long corridor in the Virtupets Space Station, there are one thousand windows along one wall. Coincidentally, there are exactly one thousand Grundos in the station. Dr Sloth orders the first Grundo to open the blinds on every window. Then, he orders the second Grundo to close the blinds on every second window. Then the third Grundo is told to go to every third window, and close the blinds if they are open, and open the blinds if they are closed. The fourth Grundo does this for every fourth window, and so on.


After all 1000 Grundos complete the process, how many blinds are open?

2007-03-01 08:51:24 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-03-01 08:31:00 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

Best answer to the first person who gets this right. You must give the whole response to get picked. And if this confuses you - you need more cowbell.

2007-03-01 08:29:21 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

when they bump into each other.

"Are you okay?" asks one.

"I think I lost an electron," says the other.

"Oh, dear! Are you sure?"

"Yes...I'm positive!"

2007-03-01 08:27:24 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous