Jokes & Riddles - March 2007

A recent Scottish immigrant attends his first baseball game
in his new country and after a base hit he hears the fans
roaring "Run....run!"

The next batter connects heavily with the ball and the
Scotsman stands up and roars with the crowd in his thick
accent: "R-r-run ya bahshtard, r-run will ya!"

A third batter slams a hit and again the Scotsman, obviously
pleased with his knowledge of the game, screams: "R-r-run
ya bahstard, r-r-run will ya!"

The next batter held his swing at three and two and as the
ump calls a walk. The Scotsman stands up yelling: "R-r-run
ya Bahstard, r-r-run!" All the surrounding fans chuckle quietly
and he sits down confused. A friendly fan, sensing his
embarrassment whispers, "He doesn't have to run, he got
four balls."

"Walk with pr-r-ride man!"

2007-03-01 08:25:39 · 8 answers · asked by endrshadow 5

What never asks any questions at all
Yet is often answered by short and tall.


please i need this today!!
10 pts, automatically to first one who answers correctly =]]

2007-03-01 08:20:29 · 12 answers · asked by yaz 2

Write "Please turn over" on both sides of a piece of paper.

2007-03-01 08:15:50 · 27 answers · asked by Shirlie 2

no one answers me.... but I know that there is noonne on the other side of the door

2007-03-01 08:10:14 · 9 answers · asked by mildred black 1

This is a good one for children ages 6 to 10 my son almost fell on the floor laughing when he heard it can you figure it out?

2007-03-01 08:06:47 · 7 answers · asked by truluvbug 2

2007-03-01 08:06:11 · 5 answers · asked by youngie 2

A bus driver was heading down a street in Colorado. He went right past a stop sign without stopping, he turned left where there was a "no left turn" sign, and he went the wrong way on a one-way street. Then he went on the left side of the road past a cop car. Still - he didn't break any traffic laws. Why not? Do you know?

2007-03-01 07:58:59 · 12 answers · asked by cucumis_sativus 5

sorry i spelt i wrong last time
what is taller, a tree?
the answer is supposed to be in the riddle.
this is the riddle and thats all i know

2007-03-01 07:57:11 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

7= O. of the W.
5 = P. in a G. P.
8 = M. F.
3 = R. in a N.

2007-03-01 07:56:16 · 5 answers · asked by bullet15963 1

Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30. Now add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000. Now add 10. What is the total?

2007-03-01 07:53:34 · 17 answers · asked by cucumis_sativus 5

There is an ancient invention still used in some parts of the world today that allows people to see through walls. Do you know what is it?

2007-03-01 07:45:55 · 21 answers · asked by cucumis_sativus 5

I was just wondering if you know of any good combacks which you can use with pretty much any offensive statement...

Anyone of this: Go back to your country if you are an international?

Also, are there any books on comebacks?

2007-03-01 07:44:48 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

what it taller, a tree?
the answer is supposed to be in the riddle

2007-03-01 07:39:15 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

alrighty batman fans u cant touch tis!!!
when u dont no wat i am i am something, when you no wat i am i am nothing...wat am i?

MWA HA HA HA

2007-03-01 07:31:22 · 10 answers · asked by lil goth 2

Isn't that a silly joke?

2007-03-01 07:29:41 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

Lend her your bottle of Shampoo that says "lather, rinse, repeat".

2007-03-01 07:27:40 · 21 answers · asked by Shirlie 2

One of the blondes tries to break into the car while the the other one watches.
Finally the first blonde says "Darn, I can't get in the car!" The other blond replies, "keep trying, it looks like it is going to rain and the top is down".

2007-03-01 07:21:45 · 21 answers · asked by Shirlie 2

2007-03-01 07:16:26 · 2 answers · asked by Anonymous

My cousin's haveing a birthday party this weekend. It's going to be family only. So far my two cousins and I can't think of any pranks to pull. Can someone please help us?

2007-03-01 07:16:21 · 3 answers · asked by ... 2

an irish couple have just been found frozen to death outside the local cinema, apparently they had been there for weeks, waiting for "closed for winter" to come on.

2007-03-01 07:13:03 · 5 answers · asked by alan p 2

Im passing this on to you because its worked for me and I have found inner peace. the way to do this is to finish the things you start! I looked around this morning to see the things I have started, so I finished the Vodka, Baileys some Red Wine and the Valium. You have no idea how peaceful I feel !!!

2007-03-01 07:09:05 · 9 answers · asked by Tatty Ted 3

if you can figure out where i got this question at, then youve earned ten points make it interestig

2007-03-01 07:05:36 · 3 answers · asked by JESUS-FREAK! 1

Because they always forget the recipe

2007-03-01 07:03:53 · 14 answers · asked by Shirlie 2

2007-03-01 06:57:23 · 13 answers · asked by chkthsout 1

Cut me and I weep tears as red as my flesh, yet my heart is made of stone. What am I?

2007-03-01 06:53:43 · 10 answers · asked by ladyeilwynn 2

My NEW neighbor walked out front to enjoy the morning air, accidently stepping unto my lawn. I'd been mowing my lawn. So I chased after him with the lawn mower still on screaming at him as he ran. He still had his robe on and everything. He ran into the house and locked the door. I was just joking, and thought it was pretty funny. Do you?

2007-03-01 06:52:06 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-03-01 06:46:53 · 3 answers · asked by zatarav 1

Doctor, Doctor
After I've been sucking off Charles I get indigestion.

'Have you tried Andrew's'

2007-03-01 06:44:01 · 7 answers · asked by First Ascent 4 Thistle 7

An English man, Irish man, Scottish man walked into a pub and the barman said "Is this a joke?"

2007-03-01 06:38:53 · 32 answers · asked by ? 6

New Year's Resolutions for Internet Junkies...

I will try to figure out why I *really* need 9 e-mail addresses.
I will stop sending e-mail to my wife (husband).
I resolve to work with neglected children -- my own.
I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm with which I answer my e-mail.
I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person.
I resolve to back up my 12GB hard drive daily...well, once a week... okay, monthly then...or maybe...
I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of course, will be hard
to estimate since I'm not a clock watcher.
When I hear "Where do you want to go today?" I will not reply "MS Tech Support."
When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "LOL... LOL!"
I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it.
I will think of a password other than "password."
I will stop checking my e-mail at 3:00 in the morning... 4:30 is much more practical.
I resolve... I resolve to... I resolve to, uh... I resolve to, uh, get my, er...
I resolve to, uh, get my, er, off-line work done, too!

2007-03-01 06:34:39 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous