Jokes & Riddles - March 2007

Dave is working on top of a building when he sees another man standing right on the ledge and looking as if he is gonna jump. He makes his way as fast as can but the man falls off. As he gets to the ledge he can see the guy fall then suddenly stop in midair and fly right back to the top of the building. As the man steps back on the ledge, Dave asks "how do you do that?" To which the guy replies "There's an air stream when you get a third the way down that carries you right back up to the top."
"Really?" says Dave.
"You should give it a try, it's great fun" says the guy.
Not being a man who is scared of such things, Dave stands on the ledge and jumps off. He gets a third of the way down and nothing happens, he just keeps falling until eventually!! SPLAT! He hits the floor and makes a nasty mess.
Back at the top of the building another man who was watching walks over to the ledge and says "You can be a right C*NT sometimes Superman!

2007-03-01 00:45:18 · 7 answers · asked by Louis Junior. 4

2007-03-01 00:39:56 · 2 answers · asked by Anonymous

I like a good smarmalde fervoreiw

2007-03-01 00:38:30 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-03-01 00:37:25 · 16 answers · asked by McQ 3

Kowalski, fresh out of accounting school, went to a interview for a good paying job. The company boss asked various questions about him and his education, but then asked him, "What is three times seven?" "Twenty-two," Kowalski replied. After he left, he double-checked it on his calculator (he knew he should have taken it to the interview!) and realized he wouldn't get the job. About two weeks later, he got a letter that said he was hired for the job! He was not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, but was still very curious. The next day, Kowalski went in and asked why he got the job, even though he got such a simple question wrong. The boss shrugged and said, "Well, you were the closest."

2007-03-01 00:36:25 · 5 answers · asked by Tish P 6

mine is in okinawa japan , it has a heated toilet seat

2007-03-01 00:35:13 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

Rich was talking to his buddy at the bar, and he said, "I don't have a clue what to get my wife for her birthday - she has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I'm stumped."

His buddy said, "I have an idea - why don't you make up a certificate saying she can have 60 minutes of great sex, any way she wants it - she'll probably be thrilled."

So the that's what Rich did. The next day at the bar his buddy said, "Well? Did you take my suggestion?"

"Yes, I did," said Joe.

"Did she like it?" His buddy asked.

"Oh yes! she jumped up , thanked me, kissed me on the forehead and ran out the door, yelling "I'll be back in an hour!!"

2007-03-01 00:32:47 · 13 answers · asked by Jay A 3

I walked into a Long John Silver's last night. There was a blonde behind the counter.

I walk up to the register and say, "Popcorn shrimp, please."

The blonde replies," You want what?"

"Popcorn shrimp, please." I answered.

"Huh?" asked the blonde.

I answered, " A #10 , please."

The blonde replied, "Oh, you want a Popcorn shrimp. Why didn't you say so!"




TRUE STORY!!!!! It happened last night.

2007-03-01 00:32:17 · 16 answers · asked by princess_bluerose 2

The Devil walks into a crowded bar. Within seconds the bar emptied with people running out screaming all over the place, all except for one old man leaned over the bar.

The Devil wanders across to the old man and says "Do you know how I am?"

The old man took another sip of his beer and answered "Yep"

The Devil stared at the old man and asked "Well aren't you afraid of me?"

The old boy looks the Devil up and down for a minute and shrugs "I married your sister 40 years ago, why the hell should I be scared of you?"

2007-03-01 00:29:27 · 12 answers · asked by Jay A 3

2007-03-01 00:27:41 · 2 answers · asked by Amour<3 3

Two blondes were flying to Miami from Cleveland.

Fifteen minutes into the flight, the captain announced "One of the engines has failed and the flight will be an hour longer. But don't worry we have three engines left".

Thirty minutes later, the captain announced "One more engine has failed and the flight will be two hours longer. But don't worry we have two engines left".

An hour later the capain announced "One more engine has failed and the flight will be three hours longer. But don't worry we have one engine left".

One blonde looked at the other the other blonde and said "Jesus! If we lose one more engine, we'll be up here all bloody day!!"

2007-03-01 00:13:50 · 18 answers · asked by Jay A 3

2007-03-01 00:06:56 · 36 answers · asked by o 2

2007-03-01 00:06:06 · 9 answers · asked by o 2