Jokes & Riddles - March 2007

I hang in a cave until half of me is gone. I sleep in a cave until I grow old. Then valued for my hardened gold. What am I?

2007-03-01 22:16:01 · 14 answers · asked by memyself_i49338 1

Missing Letter
There was a father and son who were always in competition with each other. One day the son left to take an entrance exam at a university. He wanted to major in medicine. A week later he returned from his trip looking very down in the dumps.

"How was the exam?" asked his father.

"They asked quite a lot of 'Fill in the missing letter' questions about first aid and stuff. I got a score of 75%. It wasn't good enough to get accepted," the boy replied.

"Well in that case I better take that exam myself," the father said. So off to the university he went. A week later the father returned from his trip looking very down in the dumps.

"How was the exam?" asked his son.

"They asked quite a lot of 'fill in the missing letter' questions about first aid and I got them all wrong but one."

"Gee, Dad. Which question was that?"

"The question was...", started the father, "What do you do when you come across a lady which has fainted. You feel her PU_S_ ?"

2007-03-01 22:09:02 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

Handicap (or person with special needs) kid goes to an ice cream van and says " can i have an ice cream please" Ice Cream man (not that he's made of ice cream) says " Vanilla or Chocolate mate?" kid says "what do you care i'm gonna drop it anyway!"

2007-03-01 21:40:12 · 25 answers · asked by Red5 5

it didn't come up in previous questions so here it is

2007-03-01 21:23:47 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-03-01 21:22:59 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

If the angle of the dangle is proportionate to the length, How long does it take a Donkey to root a bucket of water before it boils?

2007-03-01 21:16:48 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-03-01 21:05:21 · 7 answers · asked by florrie f 3

There are two centipedes in a leaf near the city. Baby centipede has jealous of some people he saw going straight to the city. He whisper a favor to his father something. After that whisper talk, his father fainted.

What did baby centipede whisper that makes the father centipede being fainted?

2007-03-01 20:48:09 · 7 answers · asked by JASON 1

I,ve been reading black history and this saying came in. Who writes this stuff white,s?

2007-03-01 20:48:05 · 5 answers · asked by becca 2

If a farmer met a farmer in a farmer's field, how many F's are in that?

2007-03-01 20:29:04 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

children are. The first mother says, "My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father.'" The second mother says, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room, people say, 'Your Grace.'" The third woman says smugly, "Well, not to put you down, but my son is a Cardinal. When he walks into a room, people say, 'Your Eminence.'" The fourth woman sips her coffee in silence. The first three women give her a subtle, "Well?" She replies, "My son is a handsome, 6' 3" hard-bodied, Chippendale's stripper. When he walks into a room, all the women say, 'Oh, my God!'"

Everybody have a nice day skycat!!!!!!!!!

2007-03-01 20:20:52 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

A man took his wife to the rodeo and one of the first
exhibits they stopped at was the breeding bulls.
They went up to the first pen and there was a sign
attached that said, "This bull mated 50 times last year."
The wife playfully nudged her husband in the ribs and
said, "He mated 50 times last year."
They walked to the second pen which had a sign
attached that said, "This bull mated 120 times last year. "
The wife gave her husband a healthy jab and said,
"That's more than twice a week! You could learn a lot
from him."
They walked to the third pen and it had a sign
attached that said, in capital letters, "This bull
mated 365 times last year."
The wife, so excited that her elbow nearly broke her
husband's ribs, said, "That's once a day. You could
REALLY learn something from this one."
The husband looked at her and said, "Go over and ask
him if it was with the same cow."

2007-03-01 20:20:29 · 8 answers · asked by Sangy . 4

tell you soon but you are welcome to have a guess he he!!

2007-03-01 20:15:57 · 23 answers · asked by J A 1

Bhondhu John and Bindi Matthew were recently invited to a party attended by four other pairs of siblings, for a total of ten people. One pair of siblings arrived 30 minutes late for the party, while the rest arrived on time. During the party various handshakes took place, but no person shook their own hand or the hand of their sibling. It takes 30 seconds per handshake. The party started at 5 PM and ended at 9 PM. At the end of the party Bhindhu John asked each of the nine people present, including Bindi Matthew, how many different people they shook hands with, and was surprised to note that every number mentioned by each of the 9 people was different! How many hands did Bindi Matthew shake? No one left the party and apart from the 10 people originally invited , no other guest gate crashed the party. Bhondu John has a brother called Jim John and a sister called Jane John. Jim and Jane were also invited to the party, but could not attend due to medical reasons.

2007-03-01 20:10:41 · 16 answers · asked by Tim 3

2007-03-01 20:00:09 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-03-01 19:55:18 · 4 answers · asked by Nocturnal Supremacy 3

man walks into a bar, sits down and drinks a beer. Then he drinks another beer, and another and...soon he needs to take a leak.

He's standing at the urinal in the men's room, when he looks over and notices three black men standing at the other urinals. The one in the middle has a white cock.

He zips up and, still a bit confused, goes back to the bar.

He orders another beer and thinks about what he had seen.

When the bartender hands him his beer, he leans over and whispers: "I was in the men's room and noticed three black men in there. I swear the one in the middle had a white cock!

The bartender points at three guys sitting at a table. "You mean those guys?"

"Yeah", the man says, "They're the ones."

The bartender grinned. "Those guys aren't black. They're coal miners. The one in the middle must have gone home for lunch."

2007-03-01 19:54:21 · 3 answers · asked by yolkyolk 5

one day little john hears that somebody says to another. sweatheart open your legs.
then john asks does heart have legs?

2007-03-01 19:52:28 · 6 answers · asked by Armin 3

Frenchman, an Italian and an American were discussing love-making.

"Last night I made love to my wife three times" boasted the
Frenchman. "She was in sheer ecstasy this morning..."

"Ah, last night I made love to my wife six times," the Italian
responded, "and this morning she made me a wonderful omelette
and told me she could never love another man."

When the American remained silent, the Frenchman smugly asked,
"And how many times did you make love to your wife last night?"

"Once." he replied.

"Only once?" the Italian arrogantly snorted. "And what did she
say to you this morning?"

"Don't stop."

2007-03-01 19:41:28 · 10 answers · asked by yolkyolk 5

A woman’s husband comes home hammered every night and she always yells at him before going to bed alone.

One day she decides to try some reverse psychology. When her husband staggers in that night, she’s waiting for him in her best lingerie. She sits him in an armchair and gives him a backrub.

“It’s getting late, big boy,” she says after a few minutes. “Why don’t we go upstairs to bed.”

“We might as well,” slurs the husband. “I’m going to be in trouble when I get home, anyway.”

2007-03-01 19:30:54 · 8 answers · asked by yolkyolk 5

2007-03-01 19:20:31 · 10 answers · asked by tracey r 1

a prison mate picks it up for you and you say thanks because in prison everyone is nice

2007-03-01 19:11:34 · 9 answers · asked by inktri74 i 1

If there are two trains both traveling at 8:00 with the same speed come from two opposite directions, how come they don't collide??


remember 1st one to get the correct answer gets the best answer! hurry b4 ur 2 late!

2007-03-01 18:37:19 · 19 answers · asked by YouCantHasPie 2

Celine Dion is a brussel sprout pizza left in the freezer by your wife who’s just dumped you for the pool guy

2007-03-01 18:37:06 · 3 answers · asked by Stacey A 2

If one nickel is worth five cents, how much is half of one half of a nickel worth?

2007-03-01 18:25:20 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-03-01 18:24:22 · 4 answers · asked by Brian 1

If you can buy eight eggs for 26 cents, how many can you buy for a cent and a quarter?

2007-03-01 18:19:51 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

I was wondering about the security lazar thing they use in airports, they say that it can detect hard objects. But what if a 20 year-old guy checked by a playful sexy girl got hard the minute he entered through that lazar thing, will the alarm goes on?

The guy got “hard tool”

2007-03-01 17:59:39 · 10 answers · asked by H H 1

Here's the sequel to my question earlier: Ways to Annoy your Roommate. It never got published for some reason. So here's the link:-

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AtjwQSvjIVkb9fzw2jKNluLsy6IX?qid=20070301220642AA77NAB

2007-03-01 17:58:12 · 2 answers · asked by sugarscamp 5

Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven. Don't step on the ducks."

So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity with this ugly man!"

The next day, the second woman accidentally steps on a duck, and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing, and with him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same punishment as the first woman.

2007-03-01 17:22:35 · 13 answers · asked by sugarscamp 5