Jokes & Riddles - March 2007

i just wanna know why micheal jackson plays with little boys?????

2007-03-02 17:50:27 · 12 answers · asked by darius s 1

The Church Gossip

Mildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose in to other people's business. Several members did not approve of her extra curricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence.

She made a mistake, however, when she accused George, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon. She emphatically told George (and several others) that everyone seeing it there would know what he was doing.

George, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned and walked away. He didn't explain, defend, or deny... he said nothing. Later that evening, George quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred's house, walked home, and left it there all night.

You gotta love George.

2007-03-02 17:48:58 · 11 answers · asked by Valkyrie of Lor 6

A lovely woman decided to visit a penthouse restaurant. So she rode the elevator to the top floor of the building. She had a drink at the bar and then decided to get some fresh air, so she walked out on the balcony. She got too close to the railing and fell over the side.

As she was falling about thirteen floors, a man was standing on the balcony below. He reached out his arms and engulfed her, pulling her to his chest. He asked, "Do you f***?" She answered, of course not. I'm not a slxt!" The man opened his arms and said, "Sorry."

As she had fallen another thirteen floors, another man was standing on a balcony, and he reached out, grabbed her in his arms, pulled her to his chest and asked, "Do you sxck?" She answered, "Of course not. what kind of a girl do you think I am?" The man opened his arms, and said, "Sorry."

2007-03-02 17:39:03 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

A woman recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home. One day she picked up the urn he was in, and poured him out on the coffee table.

Then she started talking to him, and tracing her fingers in the ashes. She said, "You know that fur coat you promised me, Irving?" She answered by saying, "I bought it with the insurance money!"

She then said, "Irving, remember that new car you promised me?" She answered again saying, "Well, I bought it with the insurance money!"

Then she said, "And remember the big beautiful house that sits at the top of the hill that I fell in love with and you said we couldn't afford?" Once more she answered saying, "Well I bought that too with the insurance money and I love living here."

Still tracing her finger in the ashes, she said, "Irving, remember that blxw job I promised you? Here it comes . . ."

2007-03-02 17:35:29 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

Here is a math trick that is pretty cool.

1) Get a calculator. (You won't be able to do this in your head.)
2) Key in the first three digits of your phone number(Not the area code)
3) Multiply this answer by 80.
4) Add 1.
5) Multiply this by 250.
6) Add the last 4 digits of your phone number.
7) Add the last 4 digits of your phone number again.
8) Subtract 250.
9) Divide this number by 2.

Do you recognize the number? Cool, huh?

2007-03-02 17:32:59 · 18 answers · asked by yagman 7

Okay. If a train leaves the station at 3 o' clock in the morning with 10 peices of chocolate, 14 People named Billy, 15 flying and or lazy turds, a old grandma thats 52 years old and 6 flying omlets with ham and cheese. What time do they get there?

2007-03-02 16:54:24 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous

then the night manager comes and said the price of the room was wrong the room was really 25$ so the manager gives a employee a five to give to the guys. the employee thought they could not split 5$ so he put 2$ in his pocket. he gives the guys a dollar each. so instead of paying ten each they paid 9 and 9 times 3 is 27 pluse the two that the employee took wich only equals 29 dollars where did the other dollar go????????

2007-03-02 16:22:40 · 10 answers · asked by sarah 1

A blond girl had really bad stinky B.O. under her left arm.
Why would that be ?
1st correct answer 10 points.

2007-03-02 16:02:01 · 5 answers · asked by just me 4

2007-03-02 16:01:33 · 9 answers · asked by ettezzil 5

i had a bad week and i realy feel like laughing it out of me! its high school so want ru gonna do bout it? if u would cheer me up it would HELP me a lot - thanks

2007-03-02 15:57:58 · 6 answers · asked by <3 4

one day a man saw in his dream that he is playing with ps2 and he killed his wife in game. when he woke up he saw his wife is alive he told to himself
alas for me i forgot to save it !

2007-03-02 15:55:25 · 11 answers · asked by sali 1

I feel a little funny.

2007-03-02 15:38:44 · 16 answers · asked by kenmauiphoto 5

so that each of them received the same amount but no change, and there was no money left over?

2007-03-02 15:33:18 · 12 answers · asked by Valkyrie of Lor 6

2007-03-02 15:17:45 · 32 answers · asked by Mandy 2

if you answer this for i will give yo 10 points

2007-03-02 15:13:23 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-03-02 15:11:36 · 4 answers · asked by Scimitar 3

Whats the funniest thing youve seen on youtube? POST IT!

2007-03-02 15:08:14 · 3 answers · asked by Louis_Dicarlo123 1

I have one, but anyone have any others? Here it is :
One day a blond got fired from her job, and she was riding down the road. Then there was another blond in a rowboat, in a cornfeild. The blond in the car saw this other blond, so pulled her car over a scram out the window, " It is your kind of blonds that give us a bad name!If I could swim I would go out there and kick your but!"
Get it? LoL. ANyway, thats what I mean. Got any others than the microwave one, and that one? Here is the microwave one:
There was a blond, and she went into a applyence store, and went to the cashier and pointed to a t.v, and said, " I want to buy that T.v., how much?"
" I dont sell to blonds." He said, and so she went and dyed her hair black, red, and even green, and he gave her the same answer each time. When she dyed it branete she said that again, and he said the same thing he said before, and she screamed at him,
" How do u know I am a blond?" He said: "Thats a microwave."
Others?

2007-03-02 15:02:49 · 23 answers · asked by Star 3

When i came home he asked me how i liked it, and I said i didn't like the taste of it

2007-03-02 14:55:02 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

Why was six scared of seven?
Best response or first correct answer wins!!!

2007-03-02 14:49:05 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

What was the presdients name in 1960?????
if you get this wrong well, i'm just sorry and feel bad for you super easy!!!!

2007-03-02 14:38:14 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

Hey! If you're on Y! Answers...Learn to SPELL!!!

2007-03-02 14:31:36 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

...her belt size is the equater lol

2007-03-02 14:29:22 · 16 answers · asked by chanoah_7 1

Alright i havent heard a good joke in a while!!! so i Really need to hear one!!! Come on gimme one even if its Not all that funny!!!

2007-03-02 14:27:49 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous

If you could be in a room with me and the 30 Army dudes surrounding me.... what would you say/do? And why dont our showers have hot wateR?

2007-03-02 14:25:29 · 5 answers · asked by Phillip G 2

I am sitting in a room with about 30 army dudes who all have big guns and i do as well. So what should i eat for breakfast? And why arent there any females here? haha thats 2 questions i cheated!

2007-03-02 14:17:44 · 7 answers · asked by Phillip G 2

This can be a joke or something that happend to someone or something.

2007-03-02 14:01:21 · 7 answers · asked by creston_182 1

2007-03-02 13:58:47 · 12 answers · asked by stevog 2

WATS THE FUNNIEST JOKE OR PICK UP LINE SOME ONE HAS TOLD YOU????

2007-03-02 13:40:43 · 10 answers · asked by GUNITS1LADY 2

Hey guys, I'm in my teens and I need a joke to play on my dad. A few years ago he set off the fire alarm and made like it was a fire, me and my sister were crying and stuff. So I need a REALLY good joke to get him back, but I'm not going to do the pregnancy one so dont even suggest that. Hes got a good sense of humor and I could get maybe 3 people (all female) to help. It cant be expensive. Sorry thats really specific but I really want to stick it to him good!

2007-03-02 13:25:53 · 21 answers · asked by whataporpoise 2