Jokes & Riddles - March 2007

Q: Why does a penis have a hole in it?





A: So men can be open minded!

2007-03-02 11:29:05 · 5 answers · asked by shiningstar1313 3

2007-03-02 11:27:20 · 19 answers · asked by yobro 1

A lady went into the pharmacy and asked the pharmacist for some cyanide. The pharmacist said, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"

The lady then explained she needed it to poison her husband.

The pharmacist's eyes got big and he said, "Lord, have mercy-I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my license, they'll throw both of us in jail and all kinds of bad things will happen! Absolutely not, you can NOT have any cyanide!"

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well, now. You didn't tell me you had a prescription

2007-03-02 11:27:17 · 7 answers · asked by shiningstar1313 3

a palindrome is a word that reads the same backwards as it does forwards

2007-03-02 11:26:08 · 14 answers · asked by yobro 1

2007-03-02 11:23:28 · 3 answers · asked by Toilet 2

There is a common theme among these songs. Can you guess it for 10 points?

1-18 & Life (Skid Row)
2-Running On Empty (Jackson Browne)
3-Hitch A Ride (Boston)
4-Wipe Out (Surfaris)
5-Roll Over Beethoven (The Beatles)
6-Locked In The Trunk Of A Car (The Tragically Hip)


Thanks to all who respond.

2007-03-02 11:22:17 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

My other half is about to come in after a rare night out with the lads. I know he's half-cut already so a sensible conversation is not really going yo happen. But he will laugh at some of the funny stuff.

2007-03-02 11:22:13 · 3 answers · asked by funnygirl 4

2007-03-02 11:13:58 · 8 answers · asked by Toilet 2

What are some really good pranks you can pull on your friends @ school.....

2007-03-02 11:12:46 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-03-02 11:11:24 · 8 answers · asked by Diamond 1

The Toilet sees all and knows all.
I bow to you.
wang?

2007-03-02 11:11:10 · 4 answers · asked by Toilet 2

Tree torist see an Indian lying with his ear on the road. They go up to him and the Indian says, "Three whites, two males, one female. Going about 70 miles per hour in a blue Ford jeep."

One of the people asks, "Wow, you can't tell all that just by listening to the ground?" The Indian says, "No, they just ran me over."

2007-03-02 11:09:16 · 13 answers · asked by kasar777 3

2007-03-02 11:08:22 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous

Passengers were on a airplane, when the pilot notice that the plane was too heavy. He let go of some cargo, but the plane was still to heavy. Next he let go of some luggage, but the plane was still heavy. So he decided he had to let go of some passengers in order to save the rest. So he went to the passengers and said " Okay, in save all of your lives, we have to let go of some of you. The plane is too heavy and we need to get lighter. I'll go down in alaphbetical order."
The people stared at each other, none of them wanted to leave.
"Don't worry we'll give you parachutes and you'll be picked up soon enough." Said the pilot. And then he began. " African Americans, Blacks, Colored!" he called. Nobody moved. Then a black boy leaned over to his mother and asked, " Aren't we African American, Black, and Colored?" " Shush", his mom said, " Right now were N*ggers, but if nobody speaks up we're Zulus!

2007-03-02 11:01:17 · 16 answers · asked by mayo 2

Answer: The stock market.

2007-03-02 10:58:34 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

We just had an explosion at the end of our road.
A huge hole has been left there.
The Police and Fire services are looking into it.. ha ha..xx

2007-03-02 10:57:27 · 18 answers · asked by raybbies 5

The post-its keep falling off my head? I wrote it on my forehead but I can't see it.

2007-03-02 10:57:12 · 4 answers · asked by kasar777 3

to nuns walking down the street when a bloke shout out oi sister show us your **** !! the shocked nun turns to her sister and says thats disgusing sister show him your cross !
with that the other nun shouts **** of wanker!!!!

2007-03-02 10:50:38 · 6 answers · asked by mister_mechanic2003 2

Its from the commercial...

2007-03-02 10:47:06 · 8 answers · asked by Mimi Southerland 1

2007-03-02 10:45:34 · 17 answers · asked by trevor s 3

if a insane man is barfing in a purple picnic basket on jun 57th and grandma thinks she is a orange but an evil clown is in her closet singing jingle bells while holding in a sneeze eating onion rings from japan then how come bob is a pretzel?

2007-03-02 10:41:12 · 25 answers · asked by wamzy 2

They're either occupied or full of s**t! But if you're desperate enough you'll still go for the one full of it!

2007-03-02 10:40:06 · 18 answers · asked by Lovely Witch 25 2

2007-03-02 10:39:14 · 9 answers · asked by laryllz b 1

2007-03-02 10:38:06 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, and reads her book.

Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?"



"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, Isn't that obvious?")

"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her.

"I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading."

"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. "I'll have to take you in and write you up."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.

"But I haven't even touched you, " says the game warden.

"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."

"Well have a nice day ma'am," and he left.

2007-03-02 10:36:27 · 18 answers · asked by raybbies 5

if a obese chimpanzee trys to spell the alphabet while a pig is diagnosed wit cancer then how many fat kids went to the super bowl?

2007-03-02 10:33:11 · 26 answers · asked by wamzy 2

It just hard to solve!

2007-03-02 10:28:29 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

if a alein picks u up in a corvette and my grandma is eating a monkey at 3:74 what is mr.penguins favorite color?

2007-03-02 10:24:02 · 23 answers · asked by wamzy 2

me and my cracka friends were driving down the street in my volvo stationwagon and i said 'hey cracka! pass the sun chips!', and he says 'aren't you gonna wait for the picnic, cracka?', and i say 'cracka please!' and he's like 'cracka what?' and then this black guy was like 'my cracka!', and i said 'actually sir... you can't call me a cracker... thats not what i meant... only we can call EACHOTHER crackers...'

who says it? what comedian?

2007-03-02 10:23:45 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-03-02 10:18:49 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous