Jokes & Riddles - March 2007

2007-03-02 10:16:47 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous

a bear and a rabbit were having a big fight, when they find a lamp. the rabbit picks it up making the bear greedy, and tries to get it from him. the rabbit pulls it away, but the bear touched it (rubbed it) and surely, a magic genie appeared.

he says "you can each get 3 wishes!"

first, the bear says "I wish i was the only male bear on earth"

then, after the bear gets what he wants, the rabbit says "i wish i had a lot of carrots!"

after, the bear says "i wish i was the only male bear in the universe"

then the rabbit says "I wish for world peace"

the bear then says "i wish all the female bears were attracted to me"

and finally, the rabbit says "i wish that bear was g@y"

2007-03-02 10:16:08 · 35 answers · asked by xxfeleasexx 2

Who can hold up a bus with one hand?



Hint:
1. they don't have super powers,
2. they are not strong,
3. And there is only one person.

2007-03-02 10:09:57 · 17 answers · asked by Zet-Let and Dezserret here! 2

An 8-year-old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard. She asked him, "Daddy, what is sex?" The father was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decides that if she is old enough to ask the question, then she is old enough to get a straight answer. He proceeded to tell her all about the "birds and the bees." When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open. The father asked her, "Why did you ask this question?" The little girl replied, "Mom told me to tell you that dinner would be ready in just a couple of secs."

2007-03-02 10:06:05 · 14 answers · asked by alex77055 3

An elderly couple had been experiencing declining memories, so they decided to take a power memory class where one is taught to remember things by association. A few days after the class, the old man was outside talking with his neighbor about how much the class helped him. "What was the name of the Instructor?" asked the neighbor. "Oh, ummmm, let's see," the old man pondered. "You know that flower, you know, the one that smells really nice but has those prickly thorns, what's that flower's name?" "A rose?" asked the neighbor. "Yes, that's it," replied the old man. He then turned toward his house and shouted, "Hey, Rose, what's the name of the Instructor we took the memory class from?"

2007-03-02 10:03:01 · 16 answers · asked by raybbies 5

Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army. On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair. On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth. On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years.

2007-03-02 09:57:41 · 13 answers · asked by raybbies 5

2007-03-02 09:55:59 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, "I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent." "Thank God," said an elderly nun at the back. "I'm so tired of chardonnay."

2007-03-02 09:55:09 · 16 answers · asked by raybbies 5

it's either she was really stupid or she was really stupid

2007-03-02 09:53:13 · 8 answers · asked by nayeemahaye 2

2007-03-02 09:50:41 · 7 answers · asked by the one 1

Apparently the leading chefs of this world are in uproar today.
Most of them breaking down in there motor cars.
After scientific analasys of the petrol they were using.
It was found to contain silly con carne.

Get it. just made it up.

2007-03-02 09:50:16 · 14 answers · asked by raybbies 5

A man enters a bar:
"I would like a burzistralolibou with salt"
The barman looks at him in a confused face, and asks the man:
"Un burzistralolibou with what?!"

2007-03-02 09:47:24 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

Womens rights.

2007-03-02 09:45:32 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
All day long I'd biddy biddy bum.

Wouldn't you try and do more with your money?

2007-03-02 09:42:04 · 3 answers · asked by Mickey Corleone 3

2007-03-02 09:36:20 · 19 answers · asked by peaches and cream 1

2007-03-02 09:34:43 · 28 answers · asked by peaches and cream 1

u'd probably now this but.........






ur a dog!
(=S)

2007-03-02 09:34:04 · 9 answers · asked by ? 2

Wherever I go, Dago!!!


(for the dense ones-check which category you're in)

2007-03-02 09:31:23 · 8 answers · asked by lkrhtr70 4

2007-03-02 09:31:00 · 5 answers · asked by peaches and cream 1

A plane crashes on the border on equal sides.Where do you bary the survivors?

2007-03-02 09:25:22 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

i am new to weff riddles. i need help with number twelve, i do not know the answer. please give me some hints


http://weffriddles.com/nt.html

thanks

2007-03-02 09:15:56 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous

What happened in 1961 and will not happen again until 6009?

2007-03-02 09:08:45 · 10 answers · asked by lifestar 2

2007-03-02 09:07:13 · 9 answers · asked by ♥me♥ 3

I need help on being funny someone who can make you laugh but not just jokes..... actual advice

by the way I am 13 and in 7th grade and I am a guy

2007-03-02 09:02:44 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

You have a dime and a dollar, you buy a dog and a collar, the dog is a dollar more than the collar, how much is the collar?

2007-03-02 08:58:59 · 28 answers · asked by lifestar 2

Q1: WHAT ARE THE SMALL BUMPS AROUND A WOMAN'S NIPPLES FOR?
A: It's Braille for "suck here".


Q2. WHAT IS AN AUSTRALIAN KISS?
A: It's the same as a French kiss, only "down under."


Q3. WHAT DO YOU DO WITH 365 USED CONDOMS?
A: Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.


Q4. WHY ARE HURRICANES NORMALLY NAMED AFTER WOMEN?


A: Because when they come, they're wild and wet. But when


they go,
they take your house and car with them.


Q5. WHY DO GIRLS RUB THEIR EYES WHEN THEY GET UP IN THE
MORNING?


A: Because they don't have any balls to scratch.


Now, you know everything you need to know!

2007-03-02 08:54:42 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

3 prisoners escaped from jail: a dumb guy, a smart guy, and a strong guy. There looking for a place to hide, so they go to a old grocery store and hide in 3 sacks of potatoes. The police come into the store and see the sacks. An officer kicks the first sack: the one with the smart guy. He starts meowing. The police, thinking it's just cats, leaves the first sack alone. They kick the second one: the one with the strong guy. He starts barking. Cops, thinking it's just dogs, leaves that sack alone. When the police kick the third sack, the one with the dumb guy, what do you think he says? Correct answer gets 10 points!

Until next time,

Vato

2007-03-02 08:53:58 · 13 answers · asked by Shadow369 2

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

2007-03-02 08:44:32 · 30 answers · asked by star ray 3

My friend and I have had this argument forever, I say chicken, and he says egg, what do you all think?

2007-03-02 08:44:24 · 35 answers · asked by Stephen 1

I own a house with 5 stories, 1 lightbulb, and 3 light switches. I can only go up the stairs once, and I need to find out what switch turns on the lightbulb. How do I figure that one out?

2007-03-02 08:21:34 · 15 answers · asked by Kala 2