Jokes & Riddles - February 2007

There were once 3 blondes stranded on a deserted island, and could not think of a way to get off it. One of them tripped over what happened to be a magic lamp. Dusting it off, the genie came out.

"I will grant you each a wish," he said.

"Why not," thought the blondes. "It's worth a try."

"I want to be the world's best swimmer," one said, "so I can swim off of the island". She then jumped in to the ocean and swam away.

"I want to be a bird," one said, and flew away immediately.

The third and last blonde thought for a while. "I want to be a brunette."

She was instantly transformed into a man, and she walked over the bridge to the mainland.

2007-02-24 15:18:33 · 18 answers · asked by T1G 2

A plane crashes on the border of the united states and canada, where do they bury the survivors?

2007-02-24 15:11:01 · 21 answers · asked by Adam B 1

they both have lil boys pants half off

2007-02-24 15:06:07 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-02-24 15:02:42 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

He goes to the local brothel,and the bouncer says,"Room # 3 is all ya can get for that!"
the man goes to room #3,inside is a chicken,he thinks to himself,it's better than nothing and gets to work on the chicken..
Next day,the same man is feeling horny again,but today he only has $5 on him.,he goes to the same brothel to see what he can get for his money
the bouncer says"For $5 ,go upstairs, 3rd room on the left"
the man goes upstairs,opens the door and there is around 25 blokes bent over trying to look thru a hole in the floor.
he bustles his way thru them,looks thru the hole and sees a man having sex with a pig..
he says"F*ckin' hell,thats sick"
a bloke replies"if ya think thats sick,ya should have been here yesterday,there was a bloke f*cking a chicken!!"

2007-02-24 14:51:32 · 3 answers · asked by buddybottle_australia 2

me and my friends like to joke around and call each other dum and stupid ,just playing tho, but sometimes one of them gets really annoying wat can i say to him, and also just some good comebaks for ppl calling u dum and stupid...................thx

2007-02-24 14:40:32 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

And says "I've got this excruciating pain in my rectum!"
the doctor tells him to go behind the cutain,undress and lie down on the table
the doctor begins his examination,and says"i know the problem,you've got a bunch of flowers stuck up your ars!"
"how the hell did these get here?"says the dr.
"Oh,never mind that"says the gay "just read the card"

2007-02-24 14:29:55 · 4 answers · asked by buddybottle_australia 2

St Peter says to Jesus "They are getting a bit out of hand down there. You need to pay them a visit"
They both arrive at the Serpentine lake in London. "So now what?" Asks Jesus.
"Do a miracle like you used to. Walk on the water" answers St Peter.
Having drawn a crowd, they row out into the middle of the lake. Jesus steps over the side of the boat and starts to walk. Then glug, glug, glug. He sinks. St Peter fishes him out of the water. "What went wrong. You have done it before"
"Yes, but last time I didn't have these holes in my feet"

2007-02-24 14:18:13 · 21 answers · asked by Bunts 6

...would that be considered a "four paw?"

2007-02-24 14:16:43 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

Encyclopedia!!!

2007-02-24 14:14:08 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous

I am small, but I hold memories for a lifetime. Almost everybody has one of me. When you see me, it is like you are reliving the past. I am used for Idenification and to show people other people or things. I have been around since before you were born. What Am I?






I will give the answer at 9:30

2007-02-24 14:12:16 · 21 answers · asked by *Ninja w/ awesome pirate powers* 3

VERY SiMPLE!!

2007-02-24 14:06:03 · 16 answers · asked by Love .. Like .. Honey 1

2007-02-24 14:04:25 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-02-24 14:04:03 · 22 answers · asked by tillugurl 1

Another man watering his lawn sees him,drops his hose,runs out to the street and yells at the man,
"Hey ,what the f**k are you doing with a crocodile on a leash?"
"I'm taking him to the zoo!" he replies
"thank christ for that" the man says and goes back into his yard.
The next day while gardening ,the man looks to the street and sees the same man,with the same crocodile walking him down the street again
the man runs out to the road once again and screams at the man
"Hey d!ckhead,thought you were taking that crocodile to the zoo?"
to which the man replies
"Yeah,went to the zoo,he loved it,today i'm taking him to the circus!"

2007-02-24 14:03:46 · 13 answers · asked by buddybottle_australia 2

A woman goes into a restaurant in a small town in the South. She orders some chicken and starts to eat. Eating too fast, she starts to choke on a chicken bone. Buford and Buck, two country boys in the next booth, notice she is choking. So they get up and go over to help her. Buford drops his coveralls and bends over and then Buck starts licking his butt. The choking woman watches these two go at it and is so grossed out that she launches foward and throws up all over the place, dislodging the chicken bone from her throat. Buford pulls his overalls back up and says to Buck, "You're right,that 'hind-lick' maneuver works like a charm."

2007-02-24 14:02:43 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

jealous of 1 inch lol

2007-02-24 14:00:30 · 11 answers · asked by raybbies 5

2007-02-24 13:59:23 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

whoever gets it wins.

I was carried into a dark room, and set on fire. I wept, and then my head was cut off. What am I?

2007-02-24 13:59:05 · 25 answers · asked by xoxo 6

"I'm sorry, Jenny. I just couldn't take it any longer. I can't take this anymore. I just can't be with you anymore..." [finish!]

Best answer gets 10 points from Yahoo in at least 4 hours!

2007-02-24 13:59:00 · 26 answers · asked by keybaordz 2

Now what is the best joke or riddle that you personally know.

2007-02-24 13:57:35 · 20 answers · asked by Snowie-ball 2

How do you kill a blond?
Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool and tell her togo smell it under water LOL
OR
Three people on an island one is a bruenett,red head,and a blond
one day a magical lamp washes up on land they all get one wish the bruenett says I wish I was home with my family,the red head says the same thing and the blond says I wish my friends were here!!!lol
Hope most blonds get it...
lol

2007-02-24 13:47:47 · 14 answers · asked by Gina S 1

2007-02-24 13:46:37 · 23 answers · asked by hello world 7

A husband engaged a private detective to spy on his wife. The tec said to him "I need you to be the back half of a pantomime cow because I think she is having it off with a farmer in his field" The tec and the husband were getting close to the couple having sex when the tec called back to the husband, "Can you run?" The husband at the rear end of the cow said "I'll be f ucked if I can." The tec at the front of the pantomime cow said "You'll be f ucked if you can't. Here comes a bull."

2007-02-24 13:44:59 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

A video that has like a song playing and then it tries to scare you by some guy coming out of nowwhere and screaming...it's suppose to be a joke

2007-02-24 13:43:08 · 3 answers · asked by mysweetest666 1

A blond calls her boyfriend and says,"Please come over here and help.I have a killer jigsaw puzzle,and I can't figure out how to get it started".

Her boyfriend asks."What is it suppose to be when it's finished"?
Blond says,"According to the picture on the box,it's a tiger".

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.

She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment,looks at the box,then turns to her and says,"First of all.no matter what we do,
we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger".

He takes her hand and says,"Second,I want you to relax.Let's have a nice cup of tea,
and then....."

He sighed.......
"Let's put all the Frosted Flakes back in the box....."

2007-02-24 13:39:05 · 28 answers · asked by ladybug 4

2007-02-24 13:38:14 · 20 answers · asked by Tiffany 3

Q. What is the difference between a duck?
A. One leg is both the same.
One hippo says to the other 'strange, I keep thinking its Tuesday.
(If you don't understand, don't worry. It takes a certain sense of humour....)

2007-02-24 13:28:42 · 15 answers · asked by Bunts 6

this would be really helpfull. its kinda a stupid question

2007-02-24 13:16:59 · 17 answers · asked by Garrett 3

2007-02-24 13:15:24 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous