Now what is the best joke or riddle that you personally know.
2007-02-24 13:57:35 · 20 answers · asked by Snowie-ball 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
if 2 is company and 3 is a crowd whats 4 and 5 =9
2007-03-04 05:47:09 · answer #1 · answered by chichikirby 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
An Amish boy and his father were visiting a nearby mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny silver walls that moved apart and back together again by themselves.
The lad asked, "What is this, father?"
The father (having never seen an elevator) responded, "I have no idea what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched as small circles lit up above the walls.
The walls opened up again and a beautiful twenty-four-year-old woman stepped out.
The father looked at his son anxiously and said, "Go get your mother."
2007-02-24 14:27:59 · answer #2 · answered by ♥Panda♥ 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Joke:Place your bet, joke anyone?
”The Horses are at the Starting gate”
1. Passionate Lady
2. Bare Belly
3. Silk Panties
4. Conscience
5. Jockey Shorts
6. Clean Sheets
7. Thighs
8. Big Dick
9. Heavy Bosom
10. Merry Cherry
”And away they go!…”
”Conscience is left behind at the post. Jockey Shorts and Silk Panties are off in a hurry. Heavy Bosom is being pressured. Passionate lady is caught between Thighs, Big Dick is in a very dangerous spot.”
In the back stretch:
”It's Bare Belly on top. Thighs open and Big Dick is pressed in. Heavy Bosom is being pushed hard against Clean Sheets. Passionate Lady and Thighs are working hard on Bare Belly. Bare Belly is under terrific pressure from Big Dick.”
Around the final turn:
”Merry Cherry cracks under the strain. Big Dick is making a final drive. Bare Belly is in and Passionate Lady is coming.”
At The Finish:
”It's Big Dick giving everything he's got and Passionate Lady takes everything Big Dick has to offer. It looks like a dead heat.”
“It’s Big Dick!”
“Big Dick!”
“Oh wait, Passionate Lady is coming!”
“Passionate Lady is coming!”
“But Big Dick comes through with one final sprint and …wins by a head. Bare Belly shows. Heavy Bosom weakens and Thighs pull up.”
”The winner, Big Dick by a head.”
“Clean Sheets never had a chance!”
Riddle: none can't think of any (not a riddle)
2007-03-02 00:11:58 · answer #3 · answered by Ryan Willcox 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
A Blind Man Goes Into A Beer Store. How Does He Tell The Cashier What Brand He Wants?
Answer: Hes Blind Not Dumb
2007-03-04 06:49:59 · answer #4 · answered by A Randome Person 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Viagra Coffee
This elderly lady went to the doctor for a check-up. Everything checked out fine.
The old lady pulled the doctor to the side and said, "Doctor, I haven't had sex for years now and I was wondering how I can increase my husband's sex drive."
The doctor smiled and said, "Have you tried to give him Viagra?"
The lady frowned. "Doctor, I can't even get him to take aspirin when he has a headache," she claimed.
"Well," the doctor continued, "Let me suggest something. Crush the Viagra into a powder. When you are giving him coffee, stir it into the coffee and serve it. He won't notice a thing."
The old lady was delighted. She left the doctor's office quickly.
Weeks later the old lady returned. She was frowning and the doctor asked her what was wrong. She shook her head.
"How did it go?" the doctor asked.
"Terrible, doctor, terrible."
"Did it not work?"
"Yes," the old lady said, "It worked. I did as you said and he got up and ripped his clothes off right then and there and we made mad love on the table. It was the best sex that I'd had in 25 years."
"Then what is the problem, ma'am?"
"Well," she said. "I can't ever show my face in McDonald's again."
Uncle Tommy's Closet
A guy comes home early one day from work. And he hears weird sounds coming from his bedroom. When he gets to his room, he finds his wife naked on the bed sweating bullets.
''What the hell is going on?'' he says.
''I'm having a heart attack!!''
So he runs down stairs, and picks up the phone to dial 911. But as he is doing this, his four-year-old son, comes running up to him and says, ''Dad, Uncle Tommy is up stairs, hiding in your closet, and he's naked'' So he slams the phone down, and runs upstairs, to find his own brother, in the closet.
The man, then says. ''What the hell are you doin? My wife is having a heart attack, and your here running around naked, scaring the kids? You shoud be ashamed of yourself!"
Gotcha!
Three nuns were taking a walk one day.
''I was cleaning the Father's room yesterday and found some pornography magazines," said the first nun.
"What did you do with them?" asked the second.
"I threw them away."
"I was cleaning the Father's room yesterday and found some condoms," said the second nun.
"What did you do with them?" asked the first.
"I punched holes in them." The third nun fainted
Mommy Almost Died
One day this little girl's dad came home and she runs up to him.
"Daddy, the cat died today!"
"Well, darling," said the dad. "That's just something that happens."
"But why are his arms and legs up in the air?"
"Well, darling, that's just something they do." She takes the death fairly well and doesn't mention it until a few days later. When the dad comes home, she runs up to him.
"Daddy, Daddy, Mommy almost died today!"
"What are you talking about?"
"I came downstairs and I heard her screaming 'Oh Jesus, take me, take me!' And she had her ams and legs up in the air and if it hadn't been for the mailman tring to revive her she would have died."
2007-03-02 01:07:23 · answer #5 · answered by farie gurl 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋
ya jokes have been humorous i like jokes i've got been given a million for you a guy gets a clean vehicle with a clean stereo and if u say slipknot or any singer into it it comes up with that.sometime he became into using rather rapid and little ones jumped interior the line and he shouted fu##ing little ones and it got here up with Michel Jackson lol!
2016-10-01 22:38:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Farting All The Time
Doctor, "What seems to be the problem?"
Patient, "Doc, I've got the farts. I mean I fart all the time,"
The Doctor nods, "Hmm."
Patient, "My farts do not stink and you can't hear them. It's just that I fart all the time. Look, we've been talking here for about 10 minutes and I've farted five times. You didn't hear them and you don't smell them, do you?"
"Hmm," says the Doctor,
He picks up his pad and writes out a prescription.
The patient is thrilled "Great doc. This prescription, will it really clear up my farts?"
"No," sighs the Doctor, "The prescription is to clear your sinuses. Next week I want you back here for a hearing test."
Hope you laughed i did..
2007-02-28 07:06:15 · answer #7 · answered by just wandering 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There was a son and his dad driving to town to get some milk. A drunk driver hits them and the dad doesnt make it. The son had vey bad injuries and was taken to the hospital. When the surgan came out, the surgan said, I cant work on this boy, he is my son.
How is this possible?
the surgan is his mother
2007-02-24 15:02:43 · answer #8 · answered by *Ninja w/ awesome pirate powers* 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the best joke or riddle that i personally know is personal and cant be shared so get your own
2007-02-24 14:03:23 · answer #9 · answered by nchedo11 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
To answer the riddle above It's his mother!!!!!!!
women are surgeons to ya know??
2007-03-02 12:35:24 · answer #10 · answered by Sue Ellen F 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋