Jokes & Riddles - February 2007

2007-02-24 09:42:50 · 4 answers · asked by chief2star 1

Mr. and Mrs. Mustard have six daughters and each daughter has one brother. How many people are in the Mustard family?

2007-02-24 09:24:16 · 25 answers · asked by andygames07 3

Mrs. Flebs, a teacher, was standing in front of her class. It was the beginning of the new school year. Mrs. Flebs said, “Okay class, we're going to go around the room and have everybody say a sentence. We'll start with Sarah.”
Sarah said, “Cows have spots.

Terrence said, ''Baseball is a sport.”

Carla said, “Computers are electronic.”

Bobby said, “Urinate.”

Mrs. Flebs said, “Bobby, urinate is a word, not a sentence.”

Bobby said, “Not ‘urinate’, it's you're an eight. And if you had bigger breasts you'd be a ten.”

2007-02-24 09:13:16 · 30 answers · asked by halle l 2

And with whom? Somebody from your real life or a celebrity (name)

2007-02-24 09:09:40 · 7 answers · asked by tornjeansandguitar 3

Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, "Mommy, can little girls have babies?"
"No," said his mom, "Of course not."

Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, "It's okay, we can play that game again!"

2007-02-24 09:08:42 · 26 answers · asked by halle 2

when ur in a place and u have to jump a lot and climb up the wall. what do u do. i cant get past that place. and theres a lot of monsters attacking u. i dont now where to jump.and what to do

2007-02-24 09:02:14 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

Little Johnny walked in one day on his daddy in the bathroom. He asked his father what that was hanging between his legs. His father replied that it was the perfect penis. The next day at school, Johnny pulled his pants down in front of his classmates.
''What's that?'' asked Jenny.

''Well,'' said Johnny, ''if it was about 3 inches smaller, it would be the perfect penis.'''

2007-02-24 08:57:13 · 5 answers · asked by halle 2

She now has a matching set. taken from the best selling book the Brazilian By E Cad

2007-02-24 08:54:04 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

> For those of you who are sick to death of getting emails that tell you to forward to at least X number of people in the next15 minutes so that wonderful things and miracles will happen if you do and there will be consequences if you don't, then you will enjoy this.
>
> Click here:...........
>
http://info.org.il/irrelevant/may02-smilepop-soapbox4.swf
>
>

2007-02-24 08:53:19 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-02-24 08:46:52 · 34 answers · asked by Salaama 2

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimetres from a shop window.

For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!" The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much. "The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I've been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years."

2007-02-24 08:43:20 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

This beautiful woman one day walks into a doctors office and the doctor is bowled over by how stunningly awesome she is. All his professionalism goes right out the window...

He tells her to take her pants, she does, and he starts rubbing her thighs.

"Do you know what I am doing?" asks the doctor?

"Yes, checking for abnormalities." she replies.

He tells her to take off her shirt and bra, she takes them off. The doctor begins rubbing her breasts and asks, "Do you know what I am doing now?", she replies, "Yes, checking for cancer."

Finally, he tells her to take off her panties, lays her on the table, gets on top of her and starts having sex with her. He says to her, "Do you know what I am doing now?"

She replies, "Yes, getting herpies - thats why I am here!"

2007-02-24 08:41:49 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

There was an elderly man who wanted to make his younger wife pregnant. So, he went to the doctor to have a sperm count done. The doctor told him to take a specimen cup home, fill it, and bring it back the next day. The elderly man came back the next day and the specimen cup was empty and the lid was on it. Doctor: What was the problem? Elderly man: Well, you I tried with my right hand...nothing. So, I tried with my left hand...nothing. My wife tried with her right hand...nothing. Her left hand...nothing. Her mouth...nothing. Then my wife's friend tried. Right hand, left hand, mouth....still nothing. Doctor: Wait a minute. You mean your wife's friend too?! Elderly man: Yeah, and we still couldn't get the lid off of the specimen cup.

2007-02-24 08:40:49 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

Where was Harry Houdini born?

2007-02-24 08:37:52 · 6 answers · asked by Blake 1

What are some really good funny pranks my brother and I can pull on our parents?

2007-02-24 08:33:47 · 9 answers · asked by krunic_05 2

2007-02-24 08:25:42 · 9 answers · asked by eng a 1

ok i need sum yo mama jokes the best 4 people adavnce...then theres gonna anotha round wit da final 2...everyone can put up 2 five jokes!!

2007-02-24 08:19:03 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

here is the video!
http://youtube.com/watch?v=FQiXZr744qQ
i really like it!!

2007-02-24 08:14:01 · 8 answers · asked by i tell it how it is! 5

Me and my friend want to pulla prank on this girl at school...becuase she's always talkin about us and acting like she's so cool (even though she's not) and she's always trying to be mean to us and do stuff to us......so we thinks it's time for some payback. So do you guys have any good ideas ?

2007-02-24 08:05:20 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

it's an easy and simple riddle

2007-02-24 08:04:01 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

A married man was having an affair with his secretary.

One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted they fell asleepand woke up at 8PM.

The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt.

He put on his shoes and drove home.

"Where have you been?" his wife demanded.

"I can't lie to you, "he replied," I'm having an affair with my secretary. We had sex all afternoon!

"You lying bastard!

You've been playing Golf!!

2007-02-24 08:02:05 · 3 answers · asked by hazelshine 4

First who gets it gets 10 points!!
(It's a hinkity pinkity)

2007-02-24 07:59:35 · 11 answers · asked by ylime94 2

2007-02-24 07:52:48 · 19 answers · asked by Birdman 7

Once upon a time there was a female brain cell which, by mistake, happened to end up in a Man's head. She looked around nervously, but it was all empty and quiet.
"Hello"?, she called, but no answer. "Is anyone here"?, she cried louder, but still, no answer.
"HELLO! IS THERE ANYONE HERE"?, she yelled,terrified.

Then she heard a very faint voice from far, far away, "Hello! we're down here"!

2007-02-24 07:51:18 · 11 answers · asked by jfmm 7

..."A person who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, and asks for it back the instant that it starts to rain" ?

2007-02-24 07:48:21 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

A mortician was working late one night.

He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a startling discovery. Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen!

"I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz," the mortician commented," I can't allow you to be cremated with such an impressive private part. It must be saved for posterity!"

So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home.

"I have to show you somethingyou won't believe," he said to his wife, opening his brievcase.

"My God!" the wife exclaimed, " Schwartz is dead?!?!"

2007-02-24 07:44:24 · 2 answers · asked by hazelshine 4

got a new car stereo - voice activated. i shout ^country^ it plays dolly parton. i shout ^rock^ it plays guns n roses. was driving thru town the other day and some little s h i t s ran out in front of me. i shout ^f u c k i n g kids^. it played gary glitter!!

2007-02-24 07:38:24 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

So a dyslexic walks into a bra . . .


went to buy a camouflage pair of trousers the other day.....but i couldnt find them!!


There’s no pleasing women – they even moan when they’re having an orgasm

man walks into a bar
Ouch!
It was an iron bar

2007-02-24 07:36:40 · 8 answers · asked by postypaul 3

Which burns longer the candles on a boy's birthday cake, or those on a girls?

2007-02-24 07:35:28 · 12 answers · asked by theo 2

I am found on every payground.
I am found in every office building
I am long... but also short
FAt but sometimes skinny
I make dogs bark
And fat people cry
You can place a bet on me
I have more numbers than a phone book
I am lighter than a feather... but i have enough strength to kill a black bear..
Colleges despise me and preschoolers love me...

2007-02-24 07:30:39 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous