Jokes & Riddles - December 2006

2006-12-31 00:57:33 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

There are two of me in heaven and one in hell. I am in water, fire, sunshine and darkness. I am the beginning of earth and the end of life. WHAT AM I?

2006-12-31 00:51:43 · 10 answers · asked by Carl-N-Vicky S 4

or scare you from under the covers?

2006-12-31 00:44:14 · 7 answers · asked by Carl-N-Vicky S 4

Soft as a petal that falls from a tree,
The more I dry the wetter I will be.

What am I?

2006-12-31 00:28:28 · 26 answers · asked by Emy 2

2006-12-30 23:53:35 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-12-30 23:35:48 · 3 answers · asked by tornjeansandguitar 3

The minister asked his congregation if anyone had been married for fifty years.


Ralph stood up. "I'll celebrate my 50th wedding anniversary this summer," he announced.


After a round of applause, the minister asked Ralph to share some insight into successful married life.


Ralph replied, "Well, I treated her with respect, spent money on her, and took her travelling on special occasions."


The minister asked, "Like where, Ralph?"


"Well, for our 25th anniversary, I took her to Beijing," responded Ralph.


The minister responded enthusiastically, "What a terrific example you are, Ralph. And what do you have planned for your 50th anniversary?"


"I'm going back to Beijing to get her!"

2006-12-30 23:15:02 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

The first blonde says "ummmm, i think they're kangaroo tracks".

second blonde says "ummmm, i think they're koala bear tracks"

third blonde says "ummmm, i think they're" - and they got hit by a train!

2006-12-30 22:45:57 · 12 answers · asked by cybachic2000 2

To see what was on the the side!

2006-12-30 22:45:52 · 10 answers · asked by pen 3

if you not in bed by 12 pm come home!

2006-12-30 22:40:18 · 11 answers · asked by pen 3

can brain cells die from doing it plz some one tell me or email me on yahoo.com i relly need to know so if you can tell thnx ;)

2006-12-30 22:33:20 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

I've posted these jokes before, but I'm just puttin these together.. No offence to anyone obviously.. I'm Muslim myself, and I have Sikh friends who approved of the jokes..

1. What do you call a Sikh woman who's lost..?

Miss Singh.. (missing)

2. What do you call a Sikh man who walks the tightrope..?

Balan Singh (balancing)

3. What do you call a Muslim man who does weights..?

A Muscleman.. (Mossalman means Muslim man..)

4. Knock knock.. Who's there..?

Allah..

Allah who..? (Allahu..) lol.. Cheesy yet they still make me laugh..

2006-12-30 22:14:54 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

There is white-out on the screen.Or there is writing no the white -out.

2006-12-30 22:12:20 · 22 answers · asked by abdulslade 1

- I thought about how mothers feed their babies
with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered
what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
-If it's true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for?
-If nobody buys a ticket to a movie do they still show it?

2006-12-30 22:07:41 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

nothing rude

2006-12-30 22:04:53 · 28 answers · asked by jayebird 2

A man goes to the Doctor because his penis has developed holes down the side of it. He says when i p*ss it sprays all over the place. The doc says here's the name of a specialist, go see him. Is he a surgeon asks the fella. No says the doc he will teach you how to hold it....he plays the clarinet !!!!!

2006-12-30 22:02:26 · 6 answers · asked by Shredder 6

There is 2 rats in a sewer and they are both complaining.
The 1st rat say's to the other
" im sick off eating s**t, it's s**t for breakfast s**t for dinner and s**t for tea" feeling very sorry for himself
the 2nd rat pipes up " it's ok we will go on the p**s tonight!!

2006-12-30 21:46:37 · 15 answers · asked by red devil 3

on a red hot summers day in the middle of a field there is nothing but a tree on which a man has hung himself, he is not tall enough to have climb the tree there is nothing around that he was able to stand on, all thats there is a puddle of water under the man, how did he manage it???????????

2006-12-30 21:46:36 · 12 answers · asked by jodieboo 1

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me !!!!

2006-12-30 21:45:49 · 19 answers · asked by Shredder 6

i like this one:
"Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made."

and this one is good too: "Chuck Norris counted to infinite. Twice"

2006-12-30 20:50:50 · 6 answers · asked by red12saleen 2

2006-12-30 20:47:19 · 7 answers · asked by Sean Faith 1

music n entetainment / rock n roll ledgend/ozzy/sullution/dee/

2006-12-30 20:46:33 · 7 answers · asked by crossedup 2

keep in mind i am VERY shy...and very PALE!!!...and this is the daytime!

I thought it was a deserted lake!!!

you wouldn't make me run home n-n-...i can't even say it...

wouldn't you leave me SOMETHING at least?

2006-12-30 20:46:06 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

21 otters and 22 more otters each meet 45 otters.they all go swimming.thats what otters do. how many otters?

2006-12-30 20:19:15 · 44 answers · asked by knuckles 1

What is weightless, can be seen by the naked eye, and if you put it into a barrel, it will make the barrel lighter?

2006-12-30 20:02:01 · 19 answers · asked by Love always, Kortnei 6

Simple question.

2006-12-30 19:12:22 · 9 answers · asked by dajman762 1

one day three kids were walking down a street their names were shutup, a-dummy and poop. the next day poop felld own a mountain a dummy helped him get up while shutup went to the police station. at the polcie station the police asked his anme he said shutup! the polcie said wats wrong? shutup said a dummy is picking up poop. dis is pretty funy 1

one day a boy called bugbung ased his dad if he cud hav a shower his dad sais yes and dont touch my limousine( pirvate part) then next day bugbung ased his mum if he cud hav a shower she said yes but dont touch my garage(private spot)
the next day bugbung say his dad and mum on a bed, bugbung asked dad if he cud put his limousine in the garage. lmao please rate it!!!!!!!!!!

2006-12-30 18:40:58 · 10 answers · asked by sakiro 1

2006-12-30 18:07:39 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

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2006-12-30 18:04:42 · 22 answers · asked by nina 2

Do your best
This should be good
Whoever makes me split my sides laughin wins 10 points.
Anything goes, stories,jokes whateeeeever!!!!!!

2006-12-30 18:03:01 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous