Jokes & Riddles - December 2006

middle name, aaron on his gravestone and aron on birth cert, got about 22 answers in 5 mins, 2 of which are reasonable the other puddings havent read the question right..get to specsavers.

2006-12-31 06:53:01 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

I just want to wish you all a
HAPPY NEW YEAR

2006-12-31 06:48:29 · 26 answers · asked by Starlight 4

To wish all my friends on this site a good new year to one and all CHEERS

2006-12-31 06:42:39 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-12-31 06:35:08 · 4 answers · asked by Lisa 1

???????MAKE ME LAUGH??????

2006-12-31 06:21:26 · 11 answers · asked by lilmissjo93 1

He is 13 and I think he deserves a good prank or two. He is always so mean to me and pulls pranks on me alot, so I want to get him back! Any good ideas?

2006-12-31 06:21:23 · 15 answers · asked by mojoe_girl 2

Click here and watch,then give your comments.
http://video.yahoo.com/video/play?vid=fece59e00a01923a4f0a3237c8e4e923.1054582&cache=1

2006-12-31 06:20:52 · 17 answers · asked by cooky1073 3

I don't want to be another "Problem Child" in the family, and I want to get "Money". I know ur thinking, What? Because, I'm trying to save up for something, and when we get good grades, and all of them over a C, we get a 20 dollar bonus. But my question is:

How do i get good grades?

How do I ACTUALLY get good grades?

If I need help with something, what do I do?

HELPHELPHELPHELPHELPHELPHELP

2006-12-31 06:09:26 · 28 answers · asked by ♥ Jazzy™♥ 1

They both get to smell it all day but don't get to eat it! ha ha

2006-12-31 06:01:50 · 14 answers · asked by smooozzzz 2

First one to answer correctly gets ten points!

2006-12-31 06:00:46 · 13 answers · asked by _mixQueen 1

i have a pet chameleon,he fell off the table and got all anxious, so i calmed him down. he got all scared when my dog barked at him, so i calmed him down. he heard some fireworks go off outside and hid under the table, so i calmed him down. he got all worried when i was a bit late feeding him, so i calmed him down. he was all alone for a few hours and it was dark and scary, so i calmed him down.
now he's a calmer, calmer, calmer, calmer, calmer chameleon......

2006-12-31 05:57:31 · 21 answers · asked by aria 5

My feet hurt. I've been running for what seems like forever. Then i stop and see a light. All of a sudden i go toward it not being able to stop, i'm so weak so i just let it take me. I end up in a cool place with bells and pink and purple clouds that taste like cotton candy. Then i see my great grandma looking at me. She looks diffrent as far as i remember,then i realize shes been dead for three years. Then i say " Am i in heaven?" then my greatgrandmother (May) starts flying toward me. She stops right in front of me and says" Diamond come with me" so i follow her. she takes me into a room with a big screen T.V and tells me to watch carefully, so i do. Then i see a picture of my family crying in the hospital. She then tells me that i'm a angel that will stop all evil on the earth. Then i hear a voice telling me three things i need to bring back when i am sent back to earth. One;........................
to be contuined

2006-12-31 05:49:46 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

and shouts at a man driving his car PIG, the man yells you B itch, as he drives around the corner he crashes straight into one.

2006-12-31 05:37:32 · 19 answers · asked by ........ 3

For example you know the fake confucious sayings like

"Confucious says man who sleeps with itchy but wake up with stinky finger."

I would like stuff like that

2006-12-31 05:27:18 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

Four nuns were standing in line at the gates of heaven. Peter asks the first if she has ever sinned. "Well, once I looked at a man's penis," she said. "Put some of this holy water on your eyes and you may enter heaven," Peter told her. Peter then asked the second nun if she had ever sinned. "Well, once I held a man's penis," she replied. "Put your hand in this holy water and you may enter heaven," he said. Just then the fourth nun pushed ahead of the third nun. Peter asked her, "Why did you push ahead in line?" She said, "Because I want to gargle before she sits in it!"

2006-12-31 05:27:17 · 33 answers · asked by a 1

were sitting on the back of a bus.
The first woman says'The man next to me is masturbating'
her friend replies'just ignore him'
First woman says'I cant because he is using my hand

2006-12-31 05:25:54 · 2 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-12-31 05:23:41 · 11 answers · asked by katelin 1

He painted his hallway through the letterbox



Funny ha ha or bad taste?

2006-12-31 05:18:26 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

Once upon a time John, and Pamela lived in canada. His mother Jessica from America came to visit and she suspects of a relationship between the two, and this had onlymade her more curious.

Reading his mom's thoughts, John volunteered,"I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Pamela and I are just roommates."


Than about 3 days later Jessica heads back to America.

About 4 days later, Pamela came to John saying,"Ever since your mother left, I've been unable to find the silver sugar bowl. You don't suppose she took it do you?"
"Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote:

Dear mother,
I'm not saying that you "did" take the sugar bowl from my house,I'm not saying that you "did not" take it. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you left back to America.

Love,
John.


Several days later, Joe received an email from his mother which
read:

Dear Son,

I'm not saying that you "do" sleep with Pamela, and I'm not saying that you "do not" sleep with her. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the sugar bowl by now.

Love,
Mom.

2006-12-31 05:06:13 · 15 answers · asked by fersitf 4

whereas he s always butt naked the rest of the time? :-))

2006-12-31 04:57:33 · 17 answers · asked by gagui 1

A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large beautiful parrot. There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00. "Why so little," she asked the pet store owner.

The owner looked at her and said, "Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of prostitution, and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff."

The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird anyway. She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something. The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, "New house, new madam."

The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought "that's not so bad."

When her two teenage daughters returned from school the bird saw them and said, "New house, new madam, new girls." The girls and the woman were a bit offended but then began to laugh about the situation.

Moments later, the woman's husband, Keith, came home from work. The bird looked at him and said,

2006-12-31 04:57:31 · 17 answers · asked by a m 4

A nun's habit was in desperate need of money, but none were willing to give them any donations. Things were so terrible for them that the Habit's donkey couldn't even farm anymore due to hunger.

she took some food and led him to the local track,then tied a carrot in front of the donkey and bet her money on him. The donkey was so hungry that it ran after the carrot and won first place. The odds were so low that she wakled away with 1000's of dollars. The story made the front page-"Nun's As.s wins First Place!"

the local cardinal immedeately found the nun and told her that t'was sinful to gamble, and that she should take care of the news headline. the editor agreed to print a story rectifying the situation. The papers the next morning read, "Cardinal is Disturbed upon seeing Nun's As.s at the Track"

the cardinal got furious and told the nun to get rid of the donkey,so she sold it to a local farmer+also the brother of the editor-in-cheif. The papers the next morning read "Nun Peddles *** on Street Corner

The cardinal was found dead that afternoon of a heart attack

2006-12-31 04:50:08 · 6 answers · asked by pokerface 4

2006-12-31 04:49:01 · 20 answers · asked by Alicat 6

2006-12-31 04:48:42 · 7 answers · asked by Mark P 1

2006-12-31 04:45:38 · 3 answers · asked by Charles H. T 1

FROM THE U.K.

2006-12-31 04:41:23 · 19 answers · asked by blu.boy 2

2006-12-31 04:39:55 · 24 answers · asked by musicsweetie 2

I mean he's God. Just come out and say it and spell it out.
He can do anything he wants.
It would have taken all of 3 or 4 sentences tops. Poof! We get it.
Free will would have been so much easier from there.
It would have saved a huge amount of wrangling about and a great deal of heartache.
Interpreting this, looking for signs their......waste of valuable time and effort.
Seems all a bit silly really.
Probably should be a do over.
Thoughts? Expound?

2006-12-31 04:31:44 · 7 answers · asked by JC 7

2006-12-31 04:25:43 · 14 answers · asked by john doe 2

theres 3 girls ok .a red hair brown and gren. one goes into the store nice hair he said thanks its natrulla.2 girl comes with red hair i like your hair . thanks its nautralle. the green hair comes in .i like your hair its natrullal. WHY WAS THE GIRLS HAIR GREEN?

2006-12-31 04:22:00 · 12 answers · asked by kk 1