Jokes & Riddles - December 2006

2006-12-31 17:15:01 · 15 answers · asked by DieHardFan 1

I turn polar bears white
and I will make you cry.
I make guys have to pee
and girls comb their hair.
I make celebrities look stupid
and normal people look like
celebrities.
I turn pancakes brown
and make your champane bubble.
If you sqeeze me, I'll pop.
If you look at me, you'll pop.
Can you guess the riddle?


97% of Harvard graduates can not figure
this
riddle
out, but 84% of kindergarten students
were able
to
figure this out in 6 minutes or less.

2006-12-31 17:13:08 · 19 answers · asked by krystal_engel 3

The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in 3 years.

Which room is safest for him?

2006-12-31 17:11:03 · 25 answers · asked by DieHardFan 1

2006-12-31 16:30:18 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

Three boys buy a pushbike from an old man for $3, they each pay $1, and ride away on it.[one on handlebars and one on crossbar] The old man decides he charged them too much and gives his son 50cents and tells him to chase them down and give it to them. He puts 20c in his pocket and then gives them back 10c each, so they have now paid 90c each. 3 times 90c is $2.70+the 20c in his pocket is $2.90, where is the other 10c?

2006-12-31 16:20:30 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-12-31 16:05:09 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-12-31 16:01:45 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-12-31 15:57:32 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-12-31 15:56:19 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-12-31 15:55:03 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous

http://youtube.com/watch?v=4TZy6FPul1Y


Its so stupid but I think its funny because she says "Jessica" a billion times!!

2006-12-31 15:51:20 · 10 answers · asked by Kayli (: 4

WHICH SIDE OF THE TURKEY HAS THE MOST FEATHERS?

2006-12-31 15:43:29 · 2 answers · asked by ♥ 3

heres a joke my friend told me a few years ago...

Therse were 3 men who NEVER committed a sin EVER, and the priest at there chruch has sinned , its only natural! So the priest ordered the 3 men to commit a sin.
The first man stole some lingere for his wife.
The Second man killed a child.
The 2 men returned to the chruch feeling awful and guilty. The preist then said
" you may now drink form the holy water and be forgiven for you awful sins!!"
The men drank and walked out happy and refreshed.
The priest turned to the 3rd man and asked what he has down wiht a furrowed brow.
"oh...I pee'd in the holy water."

im not sure if i got all the wording right, but i thought it was a funny joke, what do you think?

2006-12-31 15:39:19 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

some women are cruel? I was with a woman and she said that i had a small penis.....i said it maybe small but it will fill a pram !!!!!!

2006-12-31 15:38:48 · 16 answers · asked by Shredder 6

He says, "Madam, can I smell your pussy?" She says "Absolutely not!!" The man replies "Oh, it must be your feet then."

Sorry if it's old

2006-12-31 15:32:49 · 8 answers · asked by Commander 3

do u know what happened? can u tell me plsz?

2006-12-31 15:28:42 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

A horrible mishap. Stepdad Arsen was on the lookout for Rabious Coyote on our balcony. He lost his balance and fell......He is laughing insanely and speaking Portugues (who knew?>) WHAT SHUD WE DO WE CALLED AMBULANCE THEYRE ON THEIR WAY HEELP AND NO THIS SI NOT A JOKE

2006-12-31 15:25:41 · 12 answers · asked by Mental Patient 29 3

A good friend of mine set me up on a blind date with a girl he knows. "She’s very beautiful" he said & he gave me her address and phone number. So I call her and talk to and she sounds very cool; we had lots in common so I decided to go through with the date.

Well I drive up to her house (in a rich neighborhood) & knock on the door and her dad answers. He was very nice man he didn't even mind me taking out his daughter. We were talking outside for a moment till he said "Well I guess I should get Misty for you." and he went back inside. I waited outside for about 5 minutes, till much to my surprise the old man comes out carrying her in his arms because she had no legs! Well he hands her over to me and I seated her in my car and drove off.

Now my friend wasn’t lying, She was very beautiful and had a Playboy body...minus the legs. Well we went to get something to eat, and then I picked up a 12 pack and drove to this park.

Well, we started drinking and smoking, you know having fun. We got really high and I was really horny, so we started making out. We were all over each other until she said “F*** me baby now I want it!” I didn't know what to do; I've never been out with someone with no legs. So I asked her "How do you want to do this?" she said "just let me hang from that tree branch there and you should be able to hit it". Well I did just that, and it was incredible. We were going at it for a couple of hours until I noticed that it was really late and her dad might get a little pissed. So I got her down and dressed her and took her home.

Sure enough her dad was waiting out side. I got her out of my car and handed her to him, whom despite our lateness was very happy to see us and didn't seem mad at all. He took her back inside and came back out to thank me "thank you for taking Misty out and bring her back safely" he said "most guys just leave her in that damn tree!"

2006-12-31 15:09:18 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

can i make snowballs? or only find them?

2006-12-31 15:07:02 · 8 answers · asked by knicker_please 3

Which fruit helps with scrapes and cuts?

If this is easy sorry my friend made it up today and the fruit really works!!

2006-12-31 15:02:39 · 5 answers · asked by Kayli (: 4

A man with a dog auditions for a national talent show.

The producer asks, "What's your act?"

Guy says, "I have the one and only talking dog in the world."

Producer says, "This better be good."

Guy turns to the dog..."OK, Sparky, how would you describe sandpaper?"

Dog says, "Ruff."

Guy says, "Good boy, Sparky. Now what would you call the top part of a house?"

Sparky answers, "Rooff!"

Guy says, "Atta boy, Sparky. Now the hard one. Who was the best baseball player ever?"

Sparky says, "Ruuth!"

The producer finally had enough, "Get out and take that stupid dog with you!"

They leave. As they get to the guy's car, the dog looks at him and says, "You know, I would have said 'Barry Bonds,' but you threw my water bowl at me the last time I did."

2006-12-31 14:56:02 · 10 answers · asked by Yinzer Power 6

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2006-12-31 14:53:17 · 18 answers · asked by nycorvette 2

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2006-12-31 14:34:00 · 29 answers · asked by me, myself, and i 3

2006-12-31 14:29:18 · 16 answers · asked by Fernando 1

OK, so a blonde woman is driving across the midwest. She's passing miles of wheat when she sees another blonde woman sitting in a rowboat in the middle of a field. When she pulls over and asks what the woman is doing, the blonde in the rowboat says, "I'm rowing because this is a sea of wheat!"
The blonde that was driving starts screaming at her: "You idiot! It's people like you that give blondes a bad name!" As she gets back in her car she yells, "You know, you're real lucky I can't swim or I'd go out there and kick your butt!"

2006-12-31 14:24:14 · 3 answers · asked by tranquility_base3@yahoo.com 5

Find the error. It's impossible!
(This one went right over my head!)
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Did you know that 80% of UCSD students could not find the error above? Repost this with the title "find the error", and when you click "post bulletin", the answer will be really obvious

2006-12-31 14:18:27 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous

or guess three words...starting with these letters... H..N..Y..that mostly everyone in the world are celebrating right now...?

2006-12-31 13:50:42 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-12-31 13:39:15 · 13 answers · asked by RRRRRRRR 3

There is a German, a scotsman and a frenchman and they all want to get to England so the guard says "You need to say a sentence with green yellow and pink in it"
The German says "I bought a yellow top with pink shoes and my friends were green with envy"
He gets into England
the scotsman says "I walk through green grass with pink flowers while the yellow sun is in the sky"
He gets into England.
The french man thought long and hard for his sentence and said
"The phone goes green green I pink it up and say yellow yellow"

2006-12-31 13:13:06 · 10 answers · asked by Bubblegum_Faeire 3

try to figure this one out

2006-12-31 13:10:56 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous