nothing rude
2006-12-30 22:04:53 · 28 answers · asked by jayebird 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
how do you get an elephant out of a tree?
Tell it to sit on a leaf and wait until autumn.
How do you know if theres an elephant in your fridge.
Footprints in the butter.
What do you get if you cross a sheep and a kangaroo?
A wooly Jumper.
What do you get if you cross an elephant and a mouse?
Big holes in the skirting board.
any good?
2006-12-30 22:08:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why was 6 afraid of 7. Because 7 ate 9 !
What do you give a pig with a sore leg? Oinkment!
What is the difference between a Buffalo and a bison? You can't wash your hands in a Buffalo!
Why is the sand wet? Because the sea weeeeeeeeeed.
You could ask them to read this- and see how many spot the error.: The pigeons in the
the streets of Paris
are larger than those in
Trafalgar square.
Two x the will not be noticed !.
2006-12-30 22:18:18 · answer #2 · answered by Spiny Norman 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
What has 4 legs and says boo?
A cow with a cold
What has 4 legs and says aaaa?
A sheep with no lips
Why is it that the miss universe winner always comes from earth?
Whats orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot
Whats green and goes camping?
A boy sprout.
A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
5000 hares have escaped from the zoo. The police are combing the area.
I keep reading 'The Lord of the Rings' over and over. I guess it's just force of hobbit.
What do you call a lion wearing a stylish hat? A dandy lion.
Did you hear about the frog who traced his family history to Warsaw? He was a tad Polish
2006-12-31 03:16:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bob went back from work one day to find that his son had been kidnapped. On his son's bed there was a ransom note demanding two million dollars and the air smelt like cigars, He looks out the window and sees an old enemy of his smoking a cigar. Bob gets mad and after 5 min. he finally manages to pick up his sons cupboard and throw it at his enemy.
A few minutes later 3 men are trying to convince St. Peter to let them into heaven....so Peter asks them how they died.
The first man was smoking when a cupboard fell on him.
The second man was trying to throw a cupboard out the window and had a heart attack.
And the third man was hiding in a cupboard when suddenly.......
2006-12-31 00:14:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What did the mayonnaise say to the fridge?
Close the door, I'm dressing!
Why was the ketchup last in the race?
It couldn't ketch-up!
Why did the cabbage win the race?
Because it was a-head!
What does Batman's mom call when she wants him to come in for dinner?
DINNER dinner DINNER dinner, DINNER dinner DINNER dinner BATMAN!
What's the name of the little girl who went out saving wolves?
Little Green Riding Hood
Who carries a basket, visits Grandma and steals her jeweler?
Little Red Robin Hood
What were Tarzan's last words?
Who greased the vine!
What do people do in clock factories?
They make faces all day
Why did the tap dancer retire?
He kept falling in the sink
Why did the boy wear a belt on his teeth?
He couldn't find his braces
How does the biologist like to communicate?
With his cell phone!
What's the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can't tuna fish
What's got a trunk, lots of keys and four legs?
A piano up a tree
What would the U.S. be called if everyone in it drove pink cars?
A pink car-nation!
What would the U.S. be called if everyone in it drove pink cars?
A pink car-nation!
What would the U.S. be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?
An in-car-nation!
What would the U.S. be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?
A re-in-car-nation!
Why did the crab get arrested?
Because he was always pinching things
What do whales eat?
Fish and ships.
2006-12-31 01:18:37 · answer #5 · answered by Hanna K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There was a fa*ting competition in an art museum.
The compettor number one was so bad that after he fa*ted, all the doors banged against each other due to the sound (shock wave).
The scond one was so bad that after his turn the walls developed a crack.
But after the third one's turn the statues of the museum closed their noses with their hands !!!
2006-12-30 22:16:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
One day in a very boring class little Tommy was making funny faces because he was really bored. Miss Anne saw it and said to Tommy "Tommy, when I was a little girl my mother used to tell me not to make funny faces otherwise your face will become llike that".
To that Tommy replied " I can see you didnt listen!"
:)
Hope you like it! I heard this joke from a 12 year old myself!!
2006-12-30 22:13:21 · answer #7 · answered by tasha 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok here's one that Eddie Murphy told, just for the kids.
Theres a Bear and a Rabbit in the woods taking a dump, the Bear turns to the Rabbit and asks "Do you have problems with sh*t sticking to your fur?", the Rabbit says "No!", so the Bear wipes his a*s with the Rabbit.
lol
2006-12-30 22:52:17 · answer #8 · answered by Dr Doom 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Did you hear about the two TV aerials on a rooftop? They fell in love and got married.
The wedding was rubbish, but the reception was brilliant!
Did you hear about the one-armed fisherman?
2006-12-31 01:51:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A tap, a lettuce and a tomato had a race. Who won?
The tap was running but the lettuce was faster and the tomato was trying to ketch up.
2006-12-30 22:38:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋