i like this one:
"Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made."
and this one is good too: "Chuck Norris counted to infinite. Twice"
2006-12-30 20:50:50 · 6 answers · asked by red12saleen 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"
Chuck Norris can taste lies.
Only Chuck Norris can prevent forest fires.
When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them.
Scientists believe the world began with the "Big Bang". Chuck Norris shrugs it off as a "bad case of gas".
In the X-Men movies, none of the X-Men super-powers are done with special effects. Chuck Norris is the stuntman for every character.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
Chuck Norris has volunteered to remain on earth after the Rapture; he will spend his time fighting the Anti-Christ.
Chuck Norris can kick through all 6 degrees of separation, hitting anyone, anywhere, in the face, at any time.
Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
The US did not boycott the 1980 Summer Olympics in Moscow due to political reasons: Chuck Norris killed the entire US team with a single round-house kick during TaeKwonDo practice.
Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship
Chuck Norris crossed the road. No one has ever dared question his motives.
Ninjas want to grow up to be just like Chuck Norris. But usually they grow up just to be killed by Chuck Norris.
The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off
Chuck Norris's version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.
Chuck Norris's sweat has burned holes in concrete.
When Chuck norris found this web-site while surfing the internt, he round house kicked his computer...10 new facts were added instantly.including this one:P
Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.
Chuck Norris successfully seperated twins conjoined at the head by roundkicking them in the face.
Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.
Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies closer. Close enough to drop them with one round house kick to the face.
There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.
Chuck Norris once participated in the running of the bulls. He walked.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
2006-12-30 22:02:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
When Chuck Norris jumps into a pool, he does not get wet: the water gets Chuck
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist
2006-12-31 07:55:32 · answer #2 · answered by GreyRainbow 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
2006-12-31 04:53:34 · answer #3 · answered by Afternoon Delight 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"So you're that annoying guy making everyone on World of Warcraft upset...Know that I've hacked your computer and found out where you live I'll be right over to burn your house down with you locked inside." - Chuck Norris
2006-12-31 04:53:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chuck Norris does not go hunting. He goes killing. Hunting implies the prospect of failure.
2006-12-31 04:52:30 · answer #5 · answered by alwaysmoose 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is an original I thought up my self.
Chuck Norris had a menage a tois, by himself! lol
2006-12-31 06:09:28 · answer #6 · answered by James O only logical answer D 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋