Jokes & Riddles - September 2006

Kentucky. Yeah, if it were anywhere else, it'd be called a teethbrush. teehee

2006-09-12 03:33:30 · 9 answers · asked by Billy Bob Dingleberry 1

2006-09-12 03:31:00 · 2 answers · asked by Nickname 3

dont you hate him

2006-09-12 03:30:00 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-09-12 03:28:35 · 3 answers · asked by Nickname 3

one kool morning mr pall mall and miss viceroy took a walk down chesterfield lane they got a room at raleigh motel he stuck 10 inches of his l&m into her fliptop box if she dont look like acamel in 9 months ill bet it was a lucky strike

2006-09-12 03:05:44 · 15 answers · asked by hopefuldella 1

CENSUS: mrs.jones how many children do you have?
MRS.JONES : 14 kids,7 boys and 7 girls..
CENSUS : wow,you have a lot of kids to feed.dont you ever know how to use pills,condoms,withdrawal or rhythm?
MRS.JONES : nope,i never used anything...just my husband's P E N I S....



TEACHER ; Class who wants to go to heaven?
everybody raise their hands except for a blonde girl,named suzy
TEACHER : why suzy,dont you want to go to heaven
SUZY : my mom said i should go home early,are we coming back early?




A naked girl rode a taxi
"why" the girl asked to the driver,looking thoroughly to her body
"is it your first time to see a naked body?"
DRIVER : hell no! i was just wondering,wher do you keep your money to pay the fare?


A woman gave birth to quadrupletsupon seeing her husband she got out of her hospital bed and slapped him shouting,"Do you see the effects of DOGSTYLE?!"



hehehe...enjoy! c",)",)

2006-09-12 02:43:40 · 12 answers · asked by eDraLiN 2

2006-09-12 02:41:23 · 40 answers · asked by Sharm 2

2006-09-12 02:17:05 · 24 answers · asked by hopefuldella 1

a mans watching tv and his wife says "that cupboard needs fixing" he says "do i looke like a carpenter". and then she says "the the taps in the kitchen need fixing", he says "do i look like a plumber". and then she says "and the lighting in the bedroom needs sorting" he says "ok im off down the pub ill have a word with the lads see if they can sort it".when he comes back all the jobs have been done so he says "who done this", his wife says "or i got big john from next door". "how did you pay him" he says. she said "well i offered him either sex or a chocolate cake", the man says "yeah john likes his cakes". his wife says "do i look like a baker.

2006-09-12 02:04:48 · 16 answers · asked by jericho sland 4

Q:what animal is the strongest in karate?
A:zebra. try to count how many black belt the zbra have.

Q:what door that even 10 mens cannot push together?
A:a door that has a sign "PULL"

Q:Micheal Jackson and Micheal Jordan has one in common. what is it?
A:both of them does not know you at all.

Q:what is the thing, when you want to find it, it is so hard to do so.but when you have that thing already, you get throw it away?
A:nose wax.


(^^)

2006-09-12 02:03:03 · 13 answers · asked by SouL_SLa$Her 2

Do you? Do you?

2006-09-12 01:57:48 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

my last ever joke...

one day,a french spy received A coded message from an american spy claiming it came directly from the president,

it read S370HSSV-0773H. the spy was stumped, so he sent it off to his boss at the agency. his boss was stumped to, so he sent it of to the russians for decoding,

the russians could not solve it so they sent it to the germans.
the germans,having received this message during WW2 from the americans,said..

weuggested turning it upside down....



no harm is meant in this JOKE

2006-09-12 01:57:45 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous

There's an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman, and the Jew said to the chicken: "why did you cross the road?!"

Any guesses who wrote that? (Here's a clue: he's English).

2006-09-12 01:43:47 · 10 answers · asked by vomitsupermodel 2

2006-09-12 01:27:50 · 5 answers · asked by ? 2

a very handsome and even more confident man walked in to a bar,and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman,he gives he a quick glance, and looks at his watch...

the woman noticed and said " is your date running late"
no he replies i've just bought this state-of-the-art watch and i was just testing it"
the woman asks whys is that watch so special?
it uses alpha waves and telepathically talks to me"

whell whats it telling you now? she asks
well its says your wearing no panties?
the woman giggles and say" it must be broken as i am wearing panties?

he taps the face of the watch and explains " Damn thing must be an hour fast"......

;0)

2006-09-12 01:15:07 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-09-12 00:43:32 · 6 answers · asked by Nickname 3

a rich man and a poor man were talking about what they bought there wives for Valentine's Day,

the rich man says,," I bought my wife and car and a diamond ring"
the poor guy goes "why" rich man replies"because if she doesn't like the one she allways has the other...

the poor man replies," i got my wife slippers and a dildo" why a dido" the rich man asks,
the poor mans says" if she doesn't like the slippers she can go and f*ck herself....

sorry ;)

2006-09-12 00:41:17 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

Man: Can I buy you a drink?

Woman: No thank you. I discovered that alcohol is bad for my legs.

Man: Sorry to hear that. must have hurt. do they swell?

Woman: NO!!! they SPREAD!!!



Keep smiling everybody! Hope this makes you laugh or at least brightens your day! Comment, rate, etc.

2006-09-11 23:59:33 · 13 answers · asked by vaindoza 2

A boy and his father were playing catch in the front yard when the boy saw a honey bee. He ran over and stomped it.

"That was a honey bee," his father said, "one of our friends. For stomping him you will do without honey for a week."

Later the boy saw a butterfly, so he ran over and stomped it.

"That was a butterfly," his father said, "one of our friends, and for stomping him you will do without butter for a week."

The next morning the family sat down for breakfast. The boy ate his plain toast with no honey or butter.

Suddenly a cockroach ran out from under the stove. His mother stomped it.

The boy looked at his father and said, "Are you going to tell her, Dad, or should I?"


lol......like it?

2006-09-11 23:56:48 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

One day,Jasmine put some green beans and some red beans into pan to stir fry it,after 20 minutes,the beans are seperated into 2 groups according to their colour,why it happen?

2006-09-11 23:45:59 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

An evil Atheist explorer in the deepest Amazon suddenly finds
himself surrounded by a bloodthirsty group of natives. Upon
surveying the situation, he says quietly to himself "Oh God,
I'm screwed!!!!!."
There is a ray of light from heaven and a voice booms out:
"No, you are NOT screwed. Pick up that stone at your feet and
bash in the head of the chief standing in front of you."
So the explorer picks up the stone and proceeds to bash the
living heck out of the chief.
As he stands above the lifeless body, breathing heavily and
surrounded by 100 natives with a look of shock on their faces,
Gods voice booms out again: "Okay ..... NOW you're screwed."


he he he.....how was it?

2006-09-11 22:58:35 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-09-11 22:49:40 · 26 answers · asked by milap 1

There were two blondes walking down the
street and they spotted a compact.
They rushed over to see who it belonged to
so they could return it. The
first one opens it and says, "This person looks
familiar" The second one
says, "Let me see." She looks at her friend
and says, "Silly, that's me!"
(((((((((((((((((((((((
A blonde working in the coffin
industry was thinking of various
ways to improve her business.
She thought perhaps a good way
to do it would be to emulate the
success of the fashion store
across the street which had done
very well with it's new "Buy 1,
Get 1 Free" deal. Soon, a man
walks in. "I would like a coffin
for my father. But these coffins
are very expensive!" "Well, sir,
you'll be happy to know we have
a 'Buy 1, Get 1 Free' deal!" The
customer left.

2006-09-11 22:49:25 · 7 answers · asked by gogobanca 4

my 1st is in fish but not in snail, my 2nd is in rabbit but not in tail. my 3rd is in up but not in down, my 4th in tiara not in crown. my 5th is in tree you plainly see, my whole a food for you and me. what am i?

2006-09-11 22:47:22 · 22 answers · asked by A G 2

one tooth to bite, hes the forest foe. one tooth to fight as all norse know. what is it?

2006-09-11 22:44:18 · 15 answers · asked by A G 2

what type of people live in a world where fast service is not appreciated, matches dont burn and love means nothing?

2006-09-11 22:42:00 · 7 answers · asked by A G 2

A blonde ordered a pizza

and the clerk asked if he

should cut it

in six or twelve pieces.

"Six, please.

I could never eat twelve pieces."

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
The teacher took the pupils to the local cemetery and ask them to count the tombstones. Then the she said "how many dead people are here?" one little girl raised her hand and proudly said "all of them".

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
"It is clear that you haven't studied you history" said the teacher and the student said "well my dad says the world changes everyday so I decided to wait till it settles down".

2006-09-11 22:31:28 · 19 answers · asked by gogobanca 4

A guy walked into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He put the alligator up on the bar and turned to the astonished patrons.

"I'll make you a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the gator will close his mouth for one minute. He'll then open his mouth and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink."

The crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his privates in the alligator's open mouth. The gator closed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and rapped the alligator hard on the top its head. The gator opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals, unscathed as promised. The crowd cheered and the first of his free drinks was delivered. The man stood up again and made another offer.

2006-09-11 22:31:12 · 12 answers · asked by heatherlynnmorrow 5

i'm a 13 letter word. my 1234 is a flower,3456 is a synonym of gentle,678910 is a brand name and 9101112 is a famous star.

goodluck ^_^

2006-09-11 22:03:08 · 15 answers · asked by ettezzil 5

2006-09-11 21:32:05 · 35 answers · asked by Anonymous