An evil Atheist explorer in the deepest Amazon suddenly finds
himself surrounded by a bloodthirsty group of natives. Upon
surveying the situation, he says quietly to himself "Oh God,
I'm screwed!!!!!."
There is a ray of light from heaven and a voice booms out:
"No, you are NOT screwed. Pick up that stone at your feet and
bash in the head of the chief standing in front of you."
So the explorer picks up the stone and proceeds to bash the
living heck out of the chief.
As he stands above the lifeless body, breathing heavily and
surrounded by 100 natives with a look of shock on their faces,
Gods voice booms out again: "Okay ..... NOW you're screwed."
he he he.....how was it?
2006-09-11 22:58:35 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
With that cute bald head of yours, I will tell you a baldy joke. The mum was a bit concerned that the cutie was not going to grow a decnt crop. She took him to a doctor. The doctor suggested that she should rub the head against her breast every day and behold the baby started growing hairs!!!. She went to a movie and there was this gentleman bald as a coconut (buddhist monk if you so prefer). She took pity on him and decided to tell him the secret. She tapped him on the shoulder. Gentleman turned around and there was this beeeeautiful moustache staring her in the face.
he he he ...... could have made the joke more naughty!
2006-09-11 23:10:59 · answer #1 · answered by Tom Cat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good one - one good joke deserves another. Here's one you can enjoy too.....
After just a few years of marriage, filled with constant arguments, a young man and his wife decided the only way to save their marriage was to try counseling. They had been at each other's throats for some time and felt that this was their last straw.
When they arrived at the counselor's office, the counselor jumped right in and opened the floor for discussion.
"What seems to be the problem?" he asked.
The wife began talking 90 miles an hour describing all the wrongs within their marriage.
After 15 minutes of listening to the wife, the counselor went over to her, picked her up by her shoulders, kissed her passionately for several minutes, and sat her back down. Afterwards, the wife sat there speechless.
He looked over at the husband who was staring in disbelief at what had happened.
The counselor spoke to the husband, "Your wife NEEDS that at least twice a week!" The husband scratched his head and replied... "I can have her here on Tuesdays and Thursdays."
2006-09-12 06:03:35 · answer #2 · answered by young_friend 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lady walked into a Lexus dealership to browse, and spotted the most beautiful, perfect loaded Lexus and walked over to inspect it closer. As she bent forward to feel the fine leather upholstery, an unexpected little burst of flatulence escaped her. Very embarassed, she anxiously looked around to see if anyone had noticed. Sure enough, there standing behind her was a salesman.
With a pleasant smile he greeted her, "Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?"
Trying to maintain an air of sophistication and acting as though nothing had happened, she smiled back and asked,
"Sir, what is the price of this lovely vehicle?"
Still smiling pleasantly, he replied, "Madam, I'm very sorry to say! If you farted just touching it, you're gonna sh*t when you hear the price."
2006-09-12 06:01:31 · answer #3 · answered by singingbuggmann 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Funny
2006-09-12 06:01:00 · answer #4 · answered by Ichi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nice jokes, especially the one by Young Friend.
Thanks for the laughter on an otherwise not-so-good afternoon.
2006-09-12 06:49:00 · answer #5 · answered by Cinderella 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The lexus one is funnier.
2006-09-12 06:03:46 · answer #6 · answered by Heista 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Excellent...one of the best I have read here. Thanks for the chuckle on a rainy Tuesday morning!
2006-09-12 06:00:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I loved it. Great joke.
2006-09-12 06:30:51 · answer #8 · answered by diva4lyfe669 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ha Ha Ha ***** Ha
2006-09-12 06:01:54 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very funny!!! Do you have anymore?
2006-09-12 06:01:30 · answer #10 · answered by bsantos0523 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋