Jokes & Riddles - September 2006

Ok im thinking of an animal. Guess what it is:

Ready?
*snap!*
Boy this riddle's hard huh?
But you can't get it.
*snap!*
*snap!*
*snap!*
Too late!!


What is the answer? if u know how to do it, plz dont spoil it

2006-09-11 14:18:07 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

http://www.killsometime.com/video/video.asp?ID=486

2006-09-11 14:12:45 · 9 answers · asked by ♥MG789♥ 3

Wat goes up, but at the same time goes down, Up to the sky and down to the ground, my present tense and my past tense too, just go for a ride for me and u...wat am i?

2006-09-11 14:01:22 · 7 answers · asked by UselessID 2

"to go to heaven you gotta be good but to go to hell you can be yourself"

2006-09-11 13:58:13 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

to name me is to destroy me

2006-09-11 13:53:10 · 6 answers · asked by raymond92345 2

2006-09-11 13:49:39 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

please tell the girls when you’re finished

2006-09-11 13:47:57 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

2. I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "divider", looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.

For more go to www.freewebs.com/littl_neal1993/

2006-09-11 13:34:11 · 15 answers · asked by go_kartkid93 2

2006-09-11 13:31:24 · 34 answers · asked by babykatdream099 5

A young boy is walking with his dad in the park when they come across two dogs doing it. The boy asks his dad what the dogs are doing and his dad replies "They're making a puppy".

Later that night, the boy walks into his parents room and catches his parents in the act. He asks them what they're doing and his dad tells him they're making a baby, to which the boy replies "Can you turn mommy over - I'd rather have a puppy"

2006-09-11 13:25:15 · 14 answers · asked by Lady Bonah 3

Is everything possible? If so, wouldn't that make impossibility possible?

2006-09-11 13:23:37 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

What do you get when you mix Hot sauce with a Donkey?

2006-09-11 13:17:31 · 5 answers · asked by Loyc 3

ok the priest and the mrmen and the amish guy are going fishin so they get to the boat and the amishguy say;s i forgot my fishin pole so he gets out of the boat and walks across the watter then the preist sayz i forgot my lunch so he gets out and walks across the water to get it then the mormen guy sayz oh i forgot my book(?) so he gets out of the boat and falls in the water , then the priest and the amish man sayz should we have told him were the rocks where ?

2006-09-11 13:14:44 · 6 answers · asked by jpenton_2009 2

Mr. Dinsmore is looking for grease from a shoe to put on his pizza. He also needs a rocket to buy golf clubs from the moon.

2006-09-11 13:13:32 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

I really am very grateful for all the answers and help you've tendered(Oops, no pun intended...none taken) regarding my-so far-futile attempt to post an "Open Question". As, of course none of you were able to help, I took the liberty (now I'm sounding like a philosophical cab driver......"Cripes guvnor, what a bleedin liberty and no mistake") of phoning a friend of mine who earns his living as a senior computer engineer in a top government marine (non-anal) research centre. Do you know what the problem was? Guess what's been stopping me posting an Open Question? It's my Broadband connection. That's all it was!!!! my download/upload ratio is fixed to a splenetic standardised integer. He'll be over to fix it later on today and I'll have an Open Question up and running for you all to see by teatime. You've all been, well-yes, that's it...as well as could have been expected, All The Blessings,until later today.

2006-09-11 13:12:49 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

winner gets 10 pionts

2006-09-11 13:07:28 · 5 answers · asked by ? 1

an Irish couple went to the family planning clinic. 'we’ve been married for over ten years and still have no children. our friends think its because we're stupid.'
'rubbish,’ said the doctor. 'its most likely to do with timing. how often do you do it?'
'do what?' asked the wife

2006-09-11 12:53:06 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

an Italian boy and a Jewish boy come of age at the same time, the Italian boys father presents him with a brand new pistol. on the other side of town, at his bar mitzvah, the Jewish boy receives a beautiful gold watch.
the next day when the two boys see each other at school they show each other what they got. it turns out that each boy likes the others present better, and so they trade. that night, when the Italian boy is at home, his father sees him looking at he watch.
'where you getta thatta watch? asks the father.
the boy explains that he and his Jewish friend had traded. the father blows his top. 'whatta you? stupidda boy? what’s matta you? somma day, you maybe gonna getta married. then maybe somma day you gonna comma home and finda you wife inna bed with another man. whatta you gonna do then? looka atta you watch and say, “how longa you gonna be?"'

2006-09-11 12:34:10 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

Really, I know you're trying to help but (and I appreciate that) but you are getting me more and more confused. It's really very simple....the original query (gender realignment in tropical fish) I now believe (firmly) was the cause of all this confusion so, let's put it to one side. (Although I still need to know the answer). Actuall, I'll be candid---I looked it up...it's "Only remove the dorsal fin if there's no further movement or response". OK? Now, that's a question (or it was) and I've "opened" it up (so to speak). Well, here's the question,it couldn't be easier or clearer........."How do I post an Open Question?" FOR CRYING OUT LOUD>>>>SOMEONE MUST KNOW.

2006-09-11 12:34:03 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

doggystyle $75
69 $50
missionary 59.95
anything else is 50






NO BLOWS!!!!!!!!!no refunds! (like u will need it anyways)

2006-09-11 12:19:31 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

an old man and old woman met in a retirement home. after dating a month, the old man said to the woman, ‘I know we're old and can’t do much sexually anymore. but would you please hold my penis?' the woman obliged, so every day for the next two months the couple would sit in the park by the lake and the old woman would hold the mans penis. one day the man didn’t show up at their regular meeting place. the woman became concerned and set out searching for him. she soon spotted him sitting on a bench, with another woman beside him. she walked up to the bench to find his penis in the other woman’s hand. she felt terribly distraught at this and sobbed, 'we’ve been together for three months. I thought we were getting along just find. now I find you here with this other woman. what does she have that I don’t?'
'Parkinson’s!' replied the old man gleefully

2006-09-11 12:14:54 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-09-11 12:12:49 · 15 answers · asked by No 3

Oh no, I've done it again...posted the wrong question. Look, let's sort this out. "How do I post an Open Question" is the WRONG question, but somehow I stupidly keep sending it to Yahoo....it's wrong, wrong, wrong. Here's the correct question.........."How do I post an Open Question?"

2006-09-11 12:06:52 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

Three-year-old little boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath. "Mama," he asked, "Are these my brains?" Mama answered, "Not yet."

2006-09-11 12:01:25 · 25 answers · asked by Sophie 3

Last night I posted a query about Open Questions and I hate to admit it but I stupidly mixed up my questions. I had another for an online survey and, I sent them the Yahoo question by mistake and, conversely, the other (which actually was about gender realignment in tropical fish,was sent to Yahoo). Now, the incorrect question was "How do I post an Open Question"...that was the wrong question and should never have been sent.. I will now post the other, correct question and I tender my sincere apologies for causing confusion....."How do I post an Open Question?"

2006-09-11 11:55:47 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

out on the bowling green one day, a man finds a lamp. he rubs the lamp, and a genie appears to grant him one wish. the bowler does not hesitate to think-he says, ‘I’d like to be the best lawn bowler in my club.'
'no problem,’ says the genie, ‘but your sex life will be reduced as a side effect.' the genie blinks twice, and the deed is done. a few months later the genie reappears and asks the man how his bowling is going. 'great,’ says the man. 'I’m now the best in the club.'
'and how’s your sex life now?'
'its okay. I’m still getting a bit a few times a month.'
'is that all?' exclaimed the genie
'well,’ says the bowler. 'I don’t think its too bad for an aging scout leader with a very small troop.'

2006-09-11 11:49:12 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

because as we know, there are known knowns; there are things we know we know. we also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are somethings we do not know. but there are also unknown unknowns, the ones we don't know we don't know........donald rumsfeld

2006-09-11 11:47:19 · 11 answers · asked by AlfRed E nEuMaN 4 preSIDent 4

PINOCCHIO had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about splinters when they were having sex. So he went to visit Gepetto to see if he could help.

Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper wherever indicated and Pinocchio skipped away enlightened.

A couple weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily through town and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?"

Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?"

2006-09-11 11:03:21 · 12 answers · asked by sylesh3 3

What kind of soft drink does Prince Harry like?
He likes to drink royal Tru- orange the soft drink!

2006-09-11 11:02:40 · 8 answers · asked by April Ann Codon Cruz 2

If you were a man, what kind of man would you be

jejejejejejeje

2006-09-11 10:57:31 · 16 answers · asked by Riquitixxx 1