Jokes & Riddles - September 2006

two cats went to catch a rat.a big rat. the first one was chasing the rat.the second one went behind the first one. suddenly a dog came. the dog chased the first cat and went a long way.finally the dog gave up after the cat climed a tree. the second cat too climbed the tree after the dog went. what did the second cat say to the first one?

2006-09-11 06:13:13 · 7 answers · asked by kanna 3

2006-09-11 06:12:54 · 9 answers · asked by icyuryy 2

The punch line was to do with the frustration while speaking to a Telus representative who does not speak English well.

2006-09-11 06:11:39 · 2 answers · asked by purpledents 3

2006-09-11 06:11:21 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

First correct answer gets the BEST ANSWER award.

2006-09-11 06:09:30 · 9 answers · asked by Cero Kool 2

There were 3 nun's that gotten into a bad car accident,and died.All of them went heaven,and God said ''For you all to get through the gate,you must answer one question right''.He asked the first nun,''who was the first man on earth''.?She said,''ADAM!!!'',so a bright light came ,dove's flew then the gate opened.He asked the second nun,''Who was the first woman on earth''?. She said ;''EVE''!,so a bright light came,dove's flew then the gate opened.Then he asked the third nun''What was the first word's Eve said to Adam''?.And she said ''hmmmmmmm!!! that's a hard one''!,so a bright light came ,dove's flew then the gate opened.

2006-09-11 05:48:30 · 9 answers · asked by Da..KINGizHeRe!! 3

greater than God, more evil than the devil, poor people have it, rich people need it, and if you eat it, you will die?

2006-09-11 05:42:12 · 15 answers · asked by anonymous 4

2006-09-11 05:18:32 · 14 answers · asked by james h 2

2006-09-11 05:12:35 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

Bit of a groaner, this one:

A little paper bag was feeling unwell, so he went to the doctor
"Doctor, I don't feel too good," said the little paper bag.
"You look OK to me," said the Doctor, "but I'll do a blood test and see what that shows. come back and see me in a couple of days." The little paper bag felt no better when he got back for the results.
"What's up with me?" he asked.
"I'm afraid you're HIV positive!" said the doctor.
"No, I can't be - I'm just a little paper bag!" said the little paper bag
"Have you been having unprotected sex?" asked the doctor.
"I can't do things like that, I'm just a little paper bag!"
"Have you been sharing needles with other intravenous drug users?"
"NO, I can't do things like that, I'm just a little paper bag!"
"Perhaps you've been abroad recently and required a jab or a blood transfusion?" queried the doctor.
"I don't have a passport, I'm just a little paper bag!"
"well, theres only one thing for it...

"You must be a carrier!

2006-09-11 05:10:01 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-09-11 04:56:39 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

Don't know if you've heard this one...

Little johnny's patting down a pile of earth in his garden. The neighbour comes over to the fence to see what he's doing.
"what's up, Johnny?"
Tearfully, Johnny looks up and says:
"My goldfish died."
The neighbour looks at the earth Johhny's just patted down, and says:
"That's an awfully big whole for a goldfish isn't it?"
To which Johnny replies......
"That's cos he's inside your f**king cat"

Made me laugh, duno bout you lot

2006-09-11 04:55:15 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-09-11 04:48:20 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-09-11 04:46:41 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-09-11 04:30:06 · 20 answers · asked by Irish ME 2

2006-09-11 04:09:45 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-09-11 03:52:04 · 5 answers · asked by jinenglish68 5

2006-09-11 02:56:53 · 22 answers · asked by ? 5

2006-09-11 02:45:06 · 18 answers · asked by superbad~honeydip 4

what is the five letter word which we can eat. if u take the first letter it is the form of energy. if you take the second letter we could not live without it. if you take the third letter it shows the location. and if you take the fourth letter we can drink it. can u guess?

2006-09-11 02:33:09 · 13 answers · asked by Moinu 2

A Pilgrim is stranded on a boat in the middle of the Indian Ocean and a storm is brewing. Soon a fishing boat pulls up but the pilgrim shouts "Dont worry the lord will save Me!" and the boat tows off. Half an hour later a Navy ship pulls up to help Pilgrim
shouts "Dont worry the lord will save me!" and..it tows away.
Then 15 mins later a Coastguard Helicopter hovers above,
again the Pilgrim shouts "Dont worry the lord will save me!"
so it flies off.
2 mins later a massive wave comes and the pilgrim drowns.
When he gets to Heaven he goes to St Peter and asks "Why didnt
the lord save me?"
Pete turns round and says "For F**k sake he sent a fishing boat,
a Navy ship and a Helicopter you gave em all a miss!"

2006-09-11 02:24:08 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-09-11 02:13:58 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous

I've not been on yahoo answers for two weeks now!

2006-09-11 01:36:36 · 17 answers · asked by police 6

2006-09-11 01:15:57 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous

3 Men pay £10 each (£30) for a room for the night in a pub, after a while the manager realises that the room they are sharing has no air con and so would only cost £25. He gives the £5 change to the barman and ask him to return it to the men, the barman thinks that if he keeps £2 and gives them back £1 each they won't know any difference, if they have £1 each returned that means they've now paid £9 each - 3 x 9 = £27 and the barman has £2 total £29 as we started with £30 where is the other £1 ?

2006-09-11 00:58:47 · 28 answers · asked by b7jac 2

*NEWFLASH* Snow white has been chucked out of Disney Land.She was reported to have pulled up her skirt,sat on Pinocchios face & shouted LIE B*ST*RD LIE!

2006-09-11 00:29:32 · 13 answers · asked by sylesh3 3

there was a little boy he used to play with a "slingshot" but he always used to miss the target one day,just out of impulse he targeted his grannys duck and it hit the head and died he hid it behind the woods and his sister(sally) saw all this and silently went away.next day afte lunch granny said to sally to help her in the kitchen sally said "johnny said he wants to do it" and he was afraid and had done all the work for nearly a week
But now the boy lost his patience went to granny told the truth,granny knelt down and said "i was seeing you and sally at that time","i wanted to know how much time you can bear the leadership of others on you"
WHAT EVER IT IS YOU NEED TO KNOW THAT GOD IS STANDING NEAR THE WINDOW AND WATCHING YOU IF YOU ASK HIM MERCY HE WILL GRANT IT TO YOU WITH A SMILE"

2006-09-11 00:22:34 · 11 answers · asked by Sai♥Pranav 3

give me good jokes please, blonde jokes, not knock knock jokes, just please some good jokes!

2006-09-11 00:21:22 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

he cant because stin is away swimming

2006-09-10 23:47:07 · 16 answers · asked by Curt 1

What "dam" is the term used for a barrier built to keep away water from an area that is normally submerged?

2006-09-10 23:38:18 · 10 answers · asked by ammu 1