Jokes & Riddles - August 2006

I love the water...

2006-08-09 10:59:23 · 15 answers · asked by melon_rose 2

2006-08-09 10:55:22 · 35 answers · asked by maidenrocks 3

*this is a serious question, but I felt it should go in the "jokes and riddles" section.

www.potential.20fr.com

2006-08-09 10:53:59 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

there were 3 guys walking thru the woods, when they find a magic lamp, the white guy grabs it and a ginny comes out and says, i will grant each of u 2 wishes so the white guy goes first and says i wish i had a huge swiss account, and the ginny says it is done, then the mexican whent next he said i wish i was the richest man in mexico and the ginny says it is done, then the chinese turn he says i wish for(the chinese being greedy) grabs the lamp and starts running, he then tripps over a tree trunk and says sh!t and the ginny says it is done, on his way down the dude sees a big pilled of $hit on the ground and the rest is his-story

2006-08-09 10:50:08 · 34 answers · asked by chiefslapaho 3

You are on a horse, galloping at a constant speed. On your right side is
sharp drop off, and on your left side is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you.

Directly in front of you is a galloping kangaroo and your horse is unable to overtake it. Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as you and the Kangaroo.

What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?
Think about it for a second .....

























Get your drunk *** off the merry-go-round!

2006-08-09 10:42:51 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous

$ THE MISSING DOLLAR RIDDLE $
Three friends check into a motel for the night and the clerk tells them the bill is $30, payable in advance. So, they each pay the clerk $10 and go to their room. A few minutes later, the clerk realizes he has made an error and overcharged the trio by $5. He asks the bellhop to return $5 to the 3 friends who had just checked in. The bellhop sees this as an opportunity to make $2 as he reasons that the three friends would have a tough time dividing $5 evenly among them; so he decides to tell them that the clerk made a mistake of only $3, giving a dollar back to each of the friends. He pockets the leftover $2 and goes home for the day! Now, each of the three friends gets a dollar back, thus they each paid $9 for the room which is a total of $27 for the night. We know the bellhop pocketed $2 and adding that to the $27, you get $29, not $30 which was originally spent. Where did the other dollar go????

10 points to the 1st 1 to find the missing $..

2006-08-09 10:41:56 · 22 answers · asked by Kevinemy 3

1)What is it that gets wetter when it dries?
2)What's the difference between sex and Halloween?
3)A man while looking at a photograph said, "Brothers and sisters have I none. That man's father is my father's son." Who was the person in the photograph?
4)A father's child, a mother's child, yet no one's son.Who am I?

good luck on these who ever is closest gets 10 points!!!

2006-08-09 10:37:27 · 11 answers · asked by Kevinemy 3

yo momma jokes......or anything short

2006-08-09 10:29:24 · 10 answers · asked by Mike 2

they stuck a plunger in the toilet

2006-08-09 10:25:03 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

2006-08-09 10:18:53 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

Consider this:

what did the drummer get on his IQ test? drool.


did u hear about the drummer that finished highschool? me neither.


did u hear about the bass player who locked his keys in the car? it took 2 hrs to get the drummer out.

2006-08-09 10:17:52 · 6 answers · asked by texasgirl5454312 6

A hillbilly family took a vacation to New York City. One day, the father took his son into a large building. They were amazed by everything they saw, especially the elevator at one end of the lobby. The boy asked, "What's this, Paw?"

The father responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life. I don't know what it is!"

While the boy and his father were watching in wide-eyed astonishment, an old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction. The walls opened again, and a voluptuous twenty-four-year old woman stepped out.

The father turned to his son and said, "Go get your maw!"

2006-08-09 10:17:21 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

Those are the best.

2006-08-09 10:10:33 · 11 answers · asked by Jennifer 3

What color is the bus driver's shirt??

2006-08-09 10:08:16 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-09 09:55:00 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous

ok. just tell me a funny your mom joke! WOO HOO!!!! For those of you who dont care about the points, then just tell me a joke! and keep the jokes clean, ok?

2006-08-09 09:52:29 · 16 answers · asked by Linzi 4

a three legged dog walks into a bar and says...somebody shot my paw...

2006-08-09 09:50:38 · 10 answers · asked by elchavoguapo 6

So this doctor goes into a bar one night and asks for a almond daquari. The bartender goes to see if he has any almonds. He doesn't. So instead of using almonds, he uses hickory nuts. He gives it to the doctor and he has some. "Hey! What's in this?" says the doctor. "Its a hicory daquari, doc."



i no its kinda stupid but its good for a cheap laugh

2006-08-09 09:48:13 · 3 answers · asked by Sean 3

i give you 10 points

2006-08-09 09:47:07 · 11 answers · asked by super toilet 2

So this doctor goes into a bar one night and asks for a almond daquari. The bartender goes to see if he has any almonds. He doesn't. So instead of using almonds, he uses hickory nuts. He gives it to the doctor and he has some. "Hey! What's in this?" says the doctor. "Its a hicory daquari, doc."



i no its kinda stupid but its good for a cheap laugh

2006-08-09 09:43:35 · 14 answers · asked by Sean 3

Youre so ugly, you can't get a date on the internet!

2006-08-09 09:23:27 · 18 answers · asked by tmdkshaft 2

do you have different fingers?

2006-08-09 09:23:06 · 15 answers · asked by onebadone 1

Can it clean my car engine too?

2006-08-09 09:13:01 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous

Who can get Best Answer?

2006-08-09 09:04:56 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous

whats your best joke?

2006-08-09 09:00:08 · 35 answers · asked by daisy9p 3

Can you help me with this?

2006-08-09 08:58:53 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-09 08:40:43 · 50 answers · asked by MissElection 4

I was in a gay area of town and kept swinging my butt but no one seemed to care. How do I get my astral projected?

2006-08-09 08:34:43 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

beauty is in the _____________.

funniest one gets the 10 points...

2006-08-09 08:34:39 · 88 answers · asked by John 4

2006-08-09 08:32:32 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous