Jokes & Riddles (Entertainment & Music) - August 2006

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can any one tell me a goood joke?

IM if u can bitches

2006-08-09 08:30:08 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

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Have you heard a good joke lately??????Please tell me....?

2006-08-09 08:29:34 · 6 answers · asked by stargirl7 2

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my middle name?

guess my middle name!! here's a clue. it begins with 'a'

2006-08-09 08:27:01 · 32 answers · asked by Charnelle W 3

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Who has heard this Joke... 3 men and a woman are Stranded?

Who has heard this Joke...

3 men and a woman are Stranded on a desert island

a week later the woman kills herself because she is ashamed of what she is doing

a week after that they bury her becasue the men are ashamed of what they are doing.

a week after that they dig her back up again because they are ashamed of what they are doing. LOL

What do ya think?? LMAO

2006-08-09 08:26:09 · 7 answers · asked by Grin Reeper 5

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Did you know this.......?

That people like to take rest when they are tired.
That people like to speak when they want to talk
-
-
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And so on....
:-) :-) :-)

Be honest, tell me did you ever know this?

I wanna know......

2006-08-09 08:21:00 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

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Is this funny?

All the women in Iraq have shaved their p*ss**s in protest of the war.... Their message to the world is "read our lips no more bush"

2006-08-09 08:17:37 · 15 answers · asked by a7xrios 4

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Haha this is funny!!?

Here are two jokes!! Which is funnier?

Once there was a millionaire who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in back of his mansion. The millionaire also had a beautiful daughter who was single. One day he decides to throw a huge party, and during the party he announces, "My dear guests: I have a proposition to every man here. I will give one million dollars or my daughter to the man who can swim across this pool full of alligators and emerge unharmed."

As soon as he finished his last word, there was the sound of a large SPLASH. There was one guy in the pool swimming with all the strength he could muster. The crowd cheered him on as he kept stroking. Finally, he made it to the other side unharmed. The millionaire was impressed.

He said, "My boy, that was incredible! Fantastic! I didn't think it could be done! Well, I must keep my end of the bargain. Which do you want, my daughter or the one million dollars?"

2006-08-09 07:56:38 · 18 answers · asked by ? 2

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Racing Horses?

A king decides that his daughter is to marry. He decides to hold a race and the last one to cross the finish line will marry his daughter. Now how does he decide to hold the race without it talking forever, since the last one to cross will marry his daughter?

2006-08-09 07:42:18 · 7 answers · asked by Erin A 2

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Do you know the top 10 reasons why "gangstas" can't be NASCAR drivers?

#10 - They have to sit upright while driving.
# 9 - The pistol won't stay under front seat.
# 8 - The engine noise drowns out the rap music.
# 7 - The pit crew can't work on car while holding up pants at the same time
# 6 - They keep trying to carjack Dale JR.
# 5 - Police cars on track interfere with race.
# 4 - There is no passenger seat for the Ho.
# 3 - There are no Cadillac's approved for competition.
# 2 - When they crash their cars, they bail out and run.

and last but not least....

#1 - They can't wear their helmets sideways!

2006-08-09 07:42:16 · 14 answers · asked by ? 6

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what do u think of these poems???/?

When you love someone so deep inside,
It seems like it’s so easy to hide,
You’ve loved him for so very long,
You would think he could do no wrong.

Every day you would hope and pray,
That he would always stay this way,
He treated you like you should be treated,
You thought your life was finally completed.

One night he was so sweet to you,
You thought all those thing were maybe untrue,
Two days later he was back the same,
You thought you were the one to blame.

You thought that you would marry him someday,
But this time god wanted to get his way,
You wanted things back how they were before,
But you know this couldn’t happen anymore.

It was Saturday night about ten o’clock,
You heard the news and it wasn’t a shock,
You knew this was going to happen soon,
As you laid there and cried in the pale lit moon.

Its night or day?
That’s moon or sun?
Well, any way,
I have to run,
I see the tears,
Don’t cry my eyes,
I feel my fears,
I have to go,
I know it now,
Let’s end this show,
Just tell me, how?

2006-08-09 07:41:44 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

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Redneck Joke....From A Mother With Love?

Dear Child,

I am writing this slow because I know that you can't read fast.

We don't live where we did when you left home.

Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home so we moved.

I won't be able to send you the address, as the last family that lived here took the house numbers when they left so that they wouldn't have to change their address.

This place is real nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure if it works too well though.

Last week I put a load in, pulled the chain, and haven't seen them since.

The weather isn't too bad here., it only rained twice last week, The first time it rained for three days and the second time for four days. The coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Steve said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. We got another bill from the funeral home.

They said if we don't make the last payment on Grandma's grave, up she comes. John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were worried because it took him two hours to get me and Shelby out.

Your sister had a baby this morning but I haven't found out what it is yet, so I don't know if you're an aunt or an uncle. If the baby is a girl, your sister is going to name it after me, she's going to call it Mom.

Uncle Pete fell in a whiskey vat last week. Some man tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated and he burned for three days.

Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pick-up truck. Ralph was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your two friends were in the back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down.

There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much has happened.

PS, I was going to send you some money but the envelope was already sealed.

2006-08-09 07:35:35 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

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who knows the answer?

You are on a horse, galloping at a constant
speed. On your right side is a
sharp drop off, and on your left side is an
elephant traveling at the
same speed as you. Directly in front of you is a
galloping kangaroo and
your horse is unable to overtake it. Behind you
is a lion running at the
same speed as you and the Kangaroo. What must
you do to safely get out
of this highly dangerous situation?

2006-08-09 07:28:29 · 12 answers · asked by Jasunni 3

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Elevator Riddle?

A man lives on the top floor of a building, every morning, he takes the elevator down to the main floor and goes to work. When he comes home, he takes the elevator halfway up and takes the stairs the rest of the way. Why?

2006-08-09 07:18:20 · 19 answers · asked by Erin A 2

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who is a philosopher?

define

2006-08-09 07:02:45 · 23 answers · asked by Gv g 1

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Here's a joke with a moral... read to the end!?

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom.
The monarch could have killed him, but was moved by Arthur's youthful happiness. So he offered him freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer; if, after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.

The question was: What do women really want?

Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. Well, since it was better than death, the accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.

He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everybody: the princess, the prostitutes, the priests, the wise men, the court jester. In all, he spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer. What most people did tell him was to consult the old witch, as only she would know the answer. The price would be high, since the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.

The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no alternative but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer his question, but he'd have to accept her price first: The old witch wanted to marry Gawain, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend! Young Arthur was horrified: she was hunchbacked and awfully hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage water, often made obscene noises...etc ....etc. He

had never run across such a repugnant creature. He refused to force his friend to marry her and have to endure such a burden.

Gawain, upon learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He told him that nothing was too big a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round Table. Hence, their wedding was proclaimed, and the witch answered Arthur's question: What a woman really wants is to be able to be in charge of her own life.

Everyone instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur's life would be spared.

And so it went. The neighboring monarch spared Arthur's life and granted him total freedom. What a wedding Gawain and the witch had! Arthur was torn between relief and anguish. Gawain was proper as always, gentle and courteous. The old witch put her worst manners on display, and generally made everyone very uncomfortable. The wedding night approached: Gawain, steeling himself for an horrific night, entered the bedroom.

What a sight awaited! The most beautiful woman he'd ever seen lay before him! Gawain was astounded and asked what had happened. The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her (when she'd been a witch), half the time she would be her horrible, deformed self, and the other half, she would be her beautiful maiden self. Which would he want her to be during the day, and which during the night?

What a cruel question! Gawain began to think of his predicament: During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his home, an old spooky witch? Or would he prefer having by day a hideous witch, but by night a beautiful woman to enjoy many intimate moments?

What would you do? What Gawain chose follows below, but don't read until you've made your own choice.

Noble Gawain replied that he would let her choose for herself.

Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time, because he had respected her and had let her be in charge of her own life.

What is the moral of this story? The moral is that it doesn't matter if your woman is pretty or ugly, underneath it all, she's still a witch---and don't you forget it.

2006-08-09 06:50:35 · 13 answers · asked by Chino 3

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A husband and wife joke?

A husband and wife are in court because they want a divorce. They have two kids.

The wife goes, "Your honor, I believe I should take custody of my two kids because I'M the one who brought them into this world."

The judge nodded and looked at the husband, "And what do you have to say?"

The husband stood up, "Your honor, if you put a dollar bill into a vending machine and a Coke pops out, does that Coke belong to you, or the machine?"

2006-08-09 06:44:15 · 17 answers · asked by Q&A Chick 2

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