Jokes & Riddles - August 2006

A woman rushes inside to answer the phone and it's the family doctor calling. He says, "I have good news and bad news", "what do you want first"? She says give me the bad news first. He says your husband was in a terrible accident. He will always be a vegetable. You'll have to do everything for him...change him, feed him, wipe his butt and never be able to leave him alone. OH MY GOSH the woman screamed and began to sob...what's the good news? The doctor says, I was just kidding, he's dead.

2006-08-09 17:31:52 · 9 answers · asked by buzzbait0u812 4

I'll tell you mine, if you tell me yours!

2006-08-09 17:30:38 · 6 answers · asked by T H 2

I keep crossing the street, but as soon as I get there, the other side is still there!

2006-08-09 17:28:32 · 3 answers · asked by T H 2

I don't know why I posted that... thought it was funny :-)

2006-08-09 17:22:00 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

Freddy the farmer has three fields. One field is an equilateral triangle, one field is a circle, and one field is a square. The square field is 75% larger in area than the triangular field, and 50% larger in area than the circular field. In order to completely fence all three of the fields, exactly 4000 metres of fencing is required.

What is the total area of all three fields, in square metres? Please round to the nearest whole number

2006-08-09 17:18:50 · 4 answers · asked by Sakura X 2

what was the first man made object to break the sound barrier?

2006-08-09 17:01:17 · 30 answers · asked by Viola M 1

A minister was asked to dinner by one of his church members. He knew she was a bad housekeeper but agreed. When he sat down at the table, he noticed that the dishes were the dirtiest that he had ever seen in his life. "Were these dishes ever washed?" he asked his hostess, running his fingers over the grit and grime.
She replied,"They're as clean as soap and water could get them". He felt a bit uncomfortable, but blessed the food anyway and started eating. It was really delicious and he said so, despite the dirty dishes. When dinner was over, the hostess took the dishes outside and yelled, "Here Soap! Here Water!"

2006-08-09 16:55:34 · 27 answers · asked by chapped lips 5

.................. if a squirrel could press weight?

2006-08-09 16:38:41 · 5 answers · asked by Just Ask 2

like, does your butt hurt? because you fell from heaven...

2006-08-09 16:35:22 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

What Irish and stays out all night? 10 points for the first right answer....

2006-08-09 16:27:17 · 5 answers · asked by Miss Mouse 6

If you can tell me what breed made this saying popular, I'll grant you your 10 points. Good luck!!!

2006-08-09 16:26:59 · 6 answers · asked by ? 3

is it because there was a c@ck block?

2006-08-09 16:18:39 · 17 answers · asked by josie 3

like i know that every alcohol drink says it but it seems like some drink has a motto thing like it or close to it - it might be sprite

2006-08-09 16:01:13 · 9 answers · asked by Caitybell 1

2006-08-09 15:43:26 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

you live and die with me
you hate with me, but you don't love with me
im in wars and agreements
im in your smile and yor tears
im in everyones life every day
what am i?

2006-08-09 15:40:07 · 27 answers · asked by DeAd DiScO 4

What goes "clippity-clop bang!clippity-clop bang!"

2006-08-09 15:32:47 · 17 answers · asked by twiztidsdad 5

It should have the meaning of MARKET LEADER, STRIVING LIKE A TIGER, STRONG, DETERMINED TO MOVE AHEAD IN FUTURE. NEVER BE WEAK, HAVE STRONG VISION. Please help me to think of a phrase, proverbs or quote that have meaning similar to this. 10 points for the best answer!!!

2006-08-09 15:19:17 · 11 answers · asked by wishingforpeace 3

2006-08-09 15:17:04 · 33 answers · asked by Empress ~of~Roam 4

2006-08-09 15:15:09 · 30 answers · asked by ? 6

2006-08-09 15:12:45 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous

They always "eggs"ercise!!! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-08-09 15:07:14 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

To see how long he slept!!! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know what you were thinkin'! Perverts!!!

2006-08-09 15:05:11 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

A "pouch" potato!!! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-08-09 15:03:37 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

Make me laugh and earn 10 points. You have nothing to lose and only two points to gain.

2006-08-09 15:03:35 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

3 people rent a motel room, the charge is 30 dollars. Each person pays 10 dollars. later the manager came to the room, and told them there was a manager special, and the room was only 25 dollars. So he gave them 5 dollars back, to be fair each person took 1 dollar, and gave the manager 2 dollars for a tip. So therefore it equaled out that each person paid 9 dollars for the room, and they gave the manager 2 dollars, 3X9=27 for the room plus the 2 dollars given to the manager equals a total of 29 dollars.

Where did the other dollar go?

2006-08-09 15:03:12 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

what would that be?

guys, please make me laugh ; )

2006-08-09 14:55:23 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

Owlgebra! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-08-09 14:50:47 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

A little hoarse! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-08-09 14:49:44 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

Elvis Parsley!!! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!

2006-08-09 14:47:17 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-09 14:31:41 · 57 answers · asked by yazcir 1