Jokes & Riddles - August 2006

What could have possibly caused Mrs Pilkinton to call the telephone company and insist that they come out right away to test for racoon infestation?
Hippo and Goose will be suprised!

2006-08-01 03:01:13 · 7 answers · asked by markhatter 6

So who is the best Jewish Chef?
Let's see if anyone will get this one.
BTW, this is a joke. I'm not seriously asking who the best Jewish chef is.

2006-08-01 02:53:31 · 3 answers · asked by mikeman009 2

Jesus and Saint Peter are golfing. St. Peter steps up to the tee on a par three and hits one long and straight. It reaches the green.

Jesus is up next. He slices it!!

It heads over the fence into traffic on an adjacent street.
Bounces off a truck, onto the roof of a nearby shack and into the rain gutter, down the drain spout and onto a lilly pad at the edge of a lake.
A frog jumps up and snatches the ball in his mouth.
An eagle swoops down, grabs the frog.
As the eagle flies over the green, the frog croaks and drops the ball. It’s in the hole!!

Saint Peter looks at Jesus, exasperated. "Are you gonna play golf?" he asks "Or are you just gonna fu@k around?"

2006-08-01 02:51:03 · 4 answers · asked by Cool Z 5

Take a look at this image:
http://img520.imageshack.us/img520/2379/frog0ehly0.png

Thats a frog right? What else can you see? And why?
Dont say there is nothing else. If you cant figure it out then i recommend you see your doctor. Good Luck!

Give good details.

2006-08-01 02:49:36 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

It's a little old but what the heck. Work sucks so we need a little laugh!

A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the bathroom. A few minutes later, a loud, blood-curdling scream is heard coming from the bathroom.
A few minutes after that, another loud scream reverberates through the bar. The bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate what the drunk is screaming about. "What's all the screaming about in there? You're scaring my customers!"
"I'm just sitting here on the toilet and every time I try to flush, something comes up and squeezes the hell out of my balls!"
With that, the bartender opens the door, looks in and says, "You idiot! You're sitting on the mop bucket!!!"

Have a good one!

2006-08-01 02:45:03 · 23 answers · asked by ? 6

That 7 out of 10 people on earth make up 70% of population?

2006-08-01 02:22:09 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous

You can all see a tiger in this picture right?

Where can you find The Hidden Tiger?

Take a close look at the picture and you will find it.

Image link:
http://img128.imageshack.us/img128/8274/tigerls7.png

2006-08-01 02:21:06 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

1st correct answer, 10 points.

2006-08-01 02:19:40 · 12 answers · asked by SweetBrunette 5

Why did the goose go to town on a hippo and when he got there, why did Mrs Pilkinton repremand him?

2006-08-01 02:18:44 · 9 answers · asked by markhatter 6

1st correct answer, 10 points.

2006-08-01 02:18:00 · 12 answers · asked by SweetBrunette 5

ive never tryed it but i would like to anybody know?

2006-08-01 02:17:17 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

1st correct answer, 10 points.

2006-08-01 02:17:02 · 5 answers · asked by SweetBrunette 5

That Doctors of South Africa and France know the names of medicines which can cure diseases?

2006-08-01 02:15:37 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

1st correct answer, 10 points.

2006-08-01 02:15:31 · 4 answers · asked by SweetBrunette 5

1st correct answer, 10 points.

2006-08-01 02:14:53 · 8 answers · asked by SweetBrunette 5

Hello Folks!

Take a close look at this image. There is something unusual about it. What is it?

Image link
http://img465.imageshack.us/my.php?image=tfordyo8.png

If you can figure it out then you are very smart.
A cool glass of beer for the winner.

2006-08-01 02:11:11 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

Say this 5 times after a while u will start to get it ( I'am sofa king we todd it)

2006-08-01 02:10:57 · 7 answers · asked by ♥~PrInCeSs 804~♥ 1

1st correct answer, 10 points.

2006-08-01 02:10:23 · 3 answers · asked by SweetBrunette 5

1st correct answer, 10 points.

2006-08-01 02:09:33 · 10 answers · asked by SweetBrunette 5

A girl was visiting her friend who had acquired two new dogs. She asked herwhat their names were.The friend responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that"?
"Hellooooo," she answered. "They're watch dogs!"

2006-08-01 02:08:47 · 6 answers · asked by Pd 6

1st correct answer, get 10 points.

2006-08-01 02:07:37 · 6 answers · asked by SweetBrunette 5

1st correct answer, 10 points.

2006-08-01 02:06:51 · 12 answers · asked by SweetBrunette 5

How is that possible, First answer 10 pts

2006-08-01 02:04:44 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

I am just two and two.
I am hot. I am cold.
I am parent to numbers untold.
I am a gift beyond measure,
A matter of course.
I am given with pleasure,
When taken with force.

2006-08-01 01:40:59 · 6 answers · asked by jfmm 7

Funniest and whackiest one gets 10 pts.

2006-08-01 01:21:53 · 54 answers · asked by Anonymous

Before I was married, I went to visit my fiance's house and try to get along with her family..

There are the father, the mom and that damn devil sexy little sister of hers. She's about 20 and have that 36D cup (i dnt know for sure but they are huge) and long legs which tend to be always avialible for viewing if you look at them at a certain angle.

So i was dead worried and tried to conceal myself until one day, my soon-to-be-wife and the parents went out for wedding growns.

I was all alone with that damn devil little sister of hers in the house.

And to my gosh, he came to me and said
"Look you big guy. I know from your eyes that you want me. and i want to give myself up to you as my heart says from the first moment we met. but u r soon to marry my sis and i don't want any strings attached.. so why not come up to my room?"

I was thinking damn holy mother of GOSH as she pull away her clothes one by one up the stairs and pooh! she's out of sight..

I was hestitating for a moment...

2006-08-01 01:05:12 · 11 answers · asked by Cool Z 5

Ate 94 pence in the morning, followed by a shoe a pencil and a piece of paper for lunch.

In the evening, he poo'd out the shoe with 27 pence but then ate two two pound coins and a handful of gravel

The following day he had a big poo, but only seven coins came out but he ate another hand ful of change which consisted of 29 two pence pieces, nineteen little twigs, twelve boogers, seven 50 pence pieces and three quarters he found on the street.

How much money would he still have left, and where how much interest could he earn if he was sick on a bank managers lap?

2006-08-01 01:02:20 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

I was browsing through net when this question pops up -
What would happen if you found a four-leaf-clover under a ladder?
Can anyone tell me the answer?

2006-08-01 00:52:57 · 18 answers · asked by redhead2734 3

A man walked into an antique dealers shop.
"How much do you pay for a piece of tent cloth from Amundsen's polar expedition?"
The dealer called to his assistant in the cellar.
"Charlie, how much tent cloth from Amundsen have got got?"
"Three tons"
"Sorry" said the dealer.
Next day, the man was back.
"How much do you pay for a piece of wood from the cherry tree cut down by George Washington?"
"Charlie, how much cherry tree wood, have we got?"
"Six hundred metres"
"Sorry"
Next day the man is back. He slaps down a small, shrivelled leathery ball.
"How much do you pay for Napoleon's left testicle? And before you call Charlie- Here's the other one"

2006-08-01 00:46:08 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

In this life I'm a woman. In my next life, I'd Like to come back as a bear. When your a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that.

Before you hibernate, your suppose to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that too.

When your a girl bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while your sleeping and wake up to partially grown, cute, cuddly cubs. I could definatley deal with that.

If your a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. you swat away anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could deal with that.

If your a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.

YUP, GONNA BE A BEAR

2006-08-01 00:27:16 · 16 answers · asked by Mj 2