Jokes & Riddles - August 2006

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree because he was dead and why did the chicken fall out of the tree because it was stapled to the monkey I just dont get it, does anyone else?

2006-08-09 05:36:28 · 5 answers · asked by xxalexxx 2

a new captain immediately asked the soldiers for an inspection. he noticed a female camel and asked the sgt. what the camel is for. the sgt. shamefully replied "if the men and I feel an urge for female companionship..." the captain understood so he let the camel stay. one night, the captain felt THE urge so the sgt. brought the camel to his tent. after the captain's "session" with the camel, he saw the sgt. smiling outside. he asked the sgt. "is that how your men do it?" the sgt. replied"usualy sir, we ride the camel to the next town where the girls are.."

2006-08-09 05:34:15 · 6 answers · asked by c3dr1c 3

imagine you are in the 20th floor. there is fire all around you. there are no extinguishers. how will you escape without getting hurt?

2006-08-09 05:25:22 · 14 answers · asked by naomi clark 2

mine are
skeezle
stoked
thats hot
do u love it
...paris hilton type words u no and like surfer words the cast of laguna beach use

2006-08-09 05:22:17 · 10 answers · asked by hollisterGIRLchills_at_the BEACH 2

in my psyc class we were given a project we had to come up with this. if you could be the opposite sex what would you do?

2006-08-09 05:14:37 · 9 answers · asked by kallel 2

A guy owns a parrot. Every time he takes a girl home the parrot says "Somebody's gonna get f*cked tonight".

This obviously puts girls off and they refuse to stay.

Guy goes to the pet shop and asks "Do you have a female parrot that might take my male parrot's mind off my girlfriends"?
Shop owner says " NO. I do have a female owl. That might work"
Guy takes the owl and puts it with the parrot.
That night he takes a girl home. Sure enough parrot says " Somebody's gonna get f*cked tonight"

Owl says " WHOOOOOOOOOO
Parrot says : "Not YOU, you flat faced b*tch"

2006-08-09 05:10:42 · 6 answers · asked by Mr. Mojo Risin 3

2006-08-09 05:09:05 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

To name a few:
http://answers.yahoo.com/my/profile;_ylt=AoG5gOw9h9i.nhV4BnrjkjkezKIX?show=46cdb9ae6c1531c6261d27b81769857baa
and
http://answers.yahoo.com/my/profile;_ylt=AoG5gOw9h9i.nhV4BnrjkjkezKIX?show=56542b7f060846c896c74d24f13a5408aa
are so funny specially when people try to make sense of what they ask

2006-08-09 05:06:12 · 6 answers · asked by Puppy Zwolle 7

2006-08-09 05:03:48 · 7 answers · asked by Mike 2

I'd like to hear some of the jokes you know!

2006-08-09 05:03:14 · 15 answers · asked by mzdarkstar 2

producing green milk? Wouldn't that be more fun?

2006-08-09 04:58:24 · 4 answers · asked by In Honor of Moja 4

Informed people want to know.

2006-08-09 04:49:35 · 3 answers · asked by In Honor of Moja 4

one day a cop walks by a store where they had a parrot, when the cop pass by the parrot said hey you ****** nice clothes, the next day the cop walk by again and the parrot says hey there beaner beater,the next time he sayz how u doing dumn ***, and the cop had enough and plugs the parrots *** with bubble gum,a few days pass by and the parrot got fat and sick(due to his plug butt) then one day the cop walks by with his pregnant wife and the parrot says hey asshole did u plug ur wife's *** as well

2006-08-09 04:47:30 · 2 answers · asked by chiefslapaho 3

I'll give you a hint. I'm from Israel. First one who guesses it right will receive 10 points tomorrow bebe! Goodluck!

2006-08-09 04:47:29 · 7 answers · asked by brother from QG 3

Can you answer this question?

2006-08-09 04:45:42 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

I would like an answer besides a newspaper. Funniest one gets 10 points.

2006-08-09 04:44:45 · 28 answers · asked by Erin A 2

i thought the advert said with no reserve

2006-08-09 04:44:21 · 9 answers · asked by Colin T 3

so two muffins are sitting in an oven. the first one goes...oh boy its getting hot in here. the second one replies...holy shiet, a talking muffin!!!!

2006-08-09 04:43:28 · 3 answers · asked by VanillaIce 3

funniest or dirtiest or most imfomative gets 10 points to stick in there pocket!!

2006-08-09 04:32:58 · 18 answers · asked by chipz and gravy 2

2006-08-09 04:28:56 · 7 answers · asked by amandawoods 4

What quantity and denomination of promissory notes would be required to effect the purchase of the full legal title to that canine beast behind the pet shop fenestration?

The one with the symptoms of psychological damage from having been incarcerated and lonely during its formative months.

2006-08-09 04:26:19 · 7 answers · asked by Mr. Mojo Risin 3

This question was on my philosophy exam during the summer session I at cool McDaniel College in Maryland...

2006-08-09 04:23:51 · 5 answers · asked by mumblewords 2

This guy is walking with his friend, who happens to be a
psychologist. He says to this friend, "I'm a walking economy."
The friend asks, "How so?"
"My hair line is in recession, my stomach is a victim of inflation,
and both of these together are putting me into a deep depression!"

2006-08-09 04:14:24 · 7 answers · asked by simply_boring 4

There was a member of one ethnic group, a member of another ethnic group, and a third person from an ethnic group which was often percieved as comical by the first two.

The first one said something innocuous, as did the second. But the third said something that in isolation would be innocuous but in the context of what the others had said and taking into account his ethnic stereotype, was capable of generating amusement.

2006-08-09 04:10:15 · 9 answers · asked by Mr. Mojo Risin 3

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR BOSS


When you take a long time, you're slow.
When your boss takes a long time, he's thorough.

When you don't do it, you're lazy.
When your boss doesn't do it, he's too busy.

When you make a mistake, you're an idiot.
When your boss makes a mistake, he's only human.

When doing something without being told, you're overstepping your
authority.
When your boss does the same thing, that's initiative.

When you take a stand, you're being pig-headed.
When your boss does it, he's being firm.

When you overlooked a rule of ettiquette, you're being rude.
When your boss skips a few rules, he's being original.

When you please your boss, you're ****-creeping.
When your boss pleases his boss, he's being co-operative.

When you're out of the office, you're wandering around.
When your boss is out of the office, he's on business.

When you're on a day off sick, you're always sick.
When your boss has a day off sick, he must be very ill.

When you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview.
When your boss applies for leave, it's because he's overworked

2006-08-09 03:58:20 · 4 answers · asked by simply_boring 4

Three doctors who are old friends from med school sit at a reunion and try to out do one another with their amazing feats...
The first doctor says "I once reattached three of a man's fingers and he went on to become a great guitar player."
The second doctor says "That's lame...I once reattached a man's entire leg and he went on to win a gold medal for running at the Olympics."
The third doctor says "I've got you both beat hands down. I once had a cowboy who was hit by a train while riding his horse and all that was left were his limbs and the horse's a ss...he went on to become President."

2006-08-09 03:57:18 · 7 answers · asked by boundby4strings 2

There were once three boys in a classroom called Zip, Dick
and Pee. Their teacher went out of the classroom so they
decided to get up to some mischeif. Zip got on top of the
cupboard, Dick got inside and Pee jumped around outside.
The teacher came back in and said, ''Zip down, Dick out and
Pee in the corner!''

2006-08-09 03:54:25 · 17 answers · asked by simply_boring 4

think alot or maybe not lets see who can answer this

2006-08-09 03:46:51 · 10 answers · asked by Link 3

The Boss asked for a letter describing Bob Smith:

Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found
hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works independently, without
wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never
thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always
finishes given assignments on time. Often Bob takes extended
measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee
breaks. Bob is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no
vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Bob can be
classed as a high-caliber employee, the type which cannot be
dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob be
promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
executed as soon as possible.

A memo was soon sent following the letter:
That idiot was reading over my shoulder while I wrote the report sent to you earlier today. Kindly read only the odd numbered lines (1, 3, 5, etc)go^ n read

2006-08-09 03:37:01 · 14 answers · asked by simply_boring 4

there was a chick and a skunk running wild in the forest, when they ran into each other, when they woke up the skunk ask the chick, who are u? the chick said i don'y know i don't remember who are u asked the chick, i don't know either said the skunk why don't u tell me how i look like so i can remember who i am said the little chick, yes the skunk replied then u tell me about me,
ok the skunk said u r little,cute,and yellow, i know i know im a little chick he answer,now u tell me how i look like said the skunk, ok ur smelly, ugly, and have pubic hair on ur head, i know i know said the skunk im f@cking afghanistan

2006-08-09 03:34:14 · 8 answers · asked by chiefslapaho 3