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Three doctors who are old friends from med school sit at a reunion and try to out do one another with their amazing feats...
The first doctor says "I once reattached three of a man's fingers and he went on to become a great guitar player."
The second doctor says "That's lame...I once reattached a man's entire leg and he went on to win a gold medal for running at the Olympics."
The third doctor says "I've got you both beat hands down. I once had a cowboy who was hit by a train while riding his horse and all that was left were his limbs and the horse's a ss...he went on to become President."

2006-08-09 03:57:18 · 7 answers · asked by boundby4strings 2 in Entertainment & Music Jokes & Riddles

7 answers

Republicans! Pshaw! LOL.

2006-08-09 17:14:12 · answer #1 · answered by jfmm 7 · 0 0

Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him. One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it was apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself 'She'll never go for me carrying on like that,' so he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans, and shortly after that they got married.
A few months later, on the way home from work, his car broke down and since they lived in the country, he called his wife and told her he would be late because he had to walk. On his way home, he passed a small cafe and the wonderful aroma of baked beans overwhelmed him. Since he still had several miles to walk he figured he could walk off any ill affects before he got home. So he went in and ordered, and before leaving had three extra large helpings of baked beans. All the way home he farted. He 'putted' down one hill and 'putt-putted' up the next. By the time he arrived home he felt reasonably safe.

His wife met him at the door and seemed somewhat excited. She exclaimed, 'Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for you for dinner tonight!' She put a blindfold on him, and led him to his chair at the head of the table and made him promise not to peek. At this point he was beginning to feel another one coming on. Just as she was about to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang. She again made him promise not to peek until she returned, and she went to answer the phone.

While she was gone, he seized the opportunity. He shifted his weight to one leg and let go. It was not only loud, but *ripe* as a rotten egg.

He had a hard time breathing, so he felt for his napkin and fanned the air about him. He had just started to feel better, when another urge came on. He raised his leg and 'rrriiiipppp!' It sounded like a diesel engine revving, and smelled worse. To keep from gagging, he tried fanning his arms a while, hoping the smell would dissipate. Things had just about returned to normal when he felt another urge coming. He shifted his weight to his other leg and let go. This was a real blue ribbon winner; the windows rattled, the dishes on the table shook and a minute later the flowers on the table were dead. While keeping an ear tuned in on the conversation in the hallway, and keeping his promise of staying blindfolded, he carried on like this for the next ten minutes, farting and fanning them each time with his napkin.

When he heard the 'phone farewells' (indicating the end of his loneliness and freedom) he neatly laid his napkin on his lap and folded his hands on top of it. Smiling contentedly, he was the picture of innocence when his wife walked in. Apologizing for taking so long, she asked if he had peeked at the dinner. After assuring her he had not, she removed the blindfold and yelled, 'Surprise!'

To his shock and horror, there were twelve dinner guests seated around the table for his surprise birthday party.

2006-08-10 20:48:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Good one, go to comedy central for the joke of the day. They have some really great one there. to expand you repetoir.

2006-08-09 04:13:35 · answer #3 · answered by One Love <3 3 · 0 0

Gr8 one...LOL! Thanx!!!

2006-08-09 07:17:49 · answer #4 · answered by Sh00nya 4 · 0 0

me likey

2006-08-09 04:09:01 · answer #5 · answered by dogsrwork 4 · 0 0

ROFL!!! That's great!

2006-08-09 04:01:59 · answer #6 · answered by It'sMe23 5 · 0 0

true

2006-08-09 09:53:51 · answer #7 · answered by rsclflat 6 · 0 0

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