Jokes & Riddles - July 2006

This bartender is in a bar, when this really hot blonde walks up and says in a sexy seductive voice, "May I please speak to your manager?" He says, "Not right now, is there anything I can help you with?" She replies, "I don't know if you're the man to talk to...its kind of personal..." Thinking he might get lucky, he goes, "I'm pretty sure I can handle your problem, miss." She then looks at him with a smile, and puts two of her fingers in his mouth...and he begins sucking them, thinking 'I'm in!!!' She goes, "Can you tell the manager something for me?" The bartender nods...yes. "Tell him there's no toilet paper in the ladies restroom."

http://www.total-knowledge.com/~willyblues/

2006-07-09 14:35:29 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

I'll give you best answer plus 10 points!

It's a pretty common name. I'll more clues whenever people get closer

2006-07-09 14:16:53 · 11 answers · asked by rioteer28 4

I have heard of the toilet one...lets get something original, ya?

2006-07-09 14:09:28 · 8 answers · asked by stefanie.katherine 2

iS IT NOT FUNNY TO MAKE FUN OF YOUR DADDY?

2006-07-09 13:59:59 · 10 answers · asked by Good Gushy 4

Make me laugh hard enough and you will earn your self 10 points!

2006-07-09 13:58:26 · 18 answers · asked by stefanie.katherine 2

2006-07-09 13:56:46 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

I went to the store the other day.
I was only in there for about 5 minutes and when I came out there was a d*mn motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket!
So I went up to him and said, 'Come on buddy, howabout giving a guy a break?'
He ignored me and continued writing the ticket.
So I called him a pencil necked nazi.
He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having bald tires!! So I called him a horse sh*t!
He finished the second ticket and put it on the car with the first.
Then he started writing a third ticket!!
This went on for about 20 minutes, the more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote.








I didn't give a d*mn. My car was parked around the corner...

2006-07-09 13:51:55 · 25 answers · asked by ? 6

Mine is... "Change is good. You go first!"

2006-07-09 13:45:38 · 36 answers · asked by Sugar_Mama 3

La de da...
Okay, so I'm bored!!!
Is that a crime?
Just tell me something cool!
Like a tip, ya a tip...or answer my question...if it even has an answer.

2006-07-09 13:37:56 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

i saw it today and really want to know what you think is it funny or what? http://www.mrcomputerservices.com/DancingHippo.htm

2006-07-09 13:32:59 · 15 answers · asked by lisa 3

A serious drunk walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and kissed her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her."

"Why you worthless, insufferable, wretched, no good drunk!" she screamed.

"Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

2006-07-09 13:07:18 · 7 answers · asked by iamigloo 6

2006-07-09 13:00:07 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-09 12:29:54 · 25 answers · asked by Stephen Hawkings Mentor 2

2006-07-09 12:08:27 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-09 11:57:07 · 23 answers · asked by tanjaneeka 3

Don't just say no.

2006-07-09 11:54:02 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-09 11:52:03 · 14 answers · asked by tanjaneeka 3

2006-07-09 11:40:31 · 13 answers · asked by ? 3

My idea is to train as a deep sea diver and harvest fish farts to sell to the spirit level industry

2006-07-09 11:25:30 · 6 answers · asked by A man of constant sorrow 1

Or do you know anyone who does?

2006-07-09 11:14:54 · 7 answers · asked by nicoleamyjosh 1

Who's there
Doctor
Doctor who,
You just said it
HA HA HA GREAT OR WOT

2006-07-09 11:07:36 · 19 answers · asked by nicoleamyjosh 1

Do you know?

2006-07-09 11:05:26 · 8 answers · asked by roofintreez 1

2006-07-09 11:00:19 · 27 answers · asked by TomJerry 1

a man was using the public rest room and a midget came in ....he was too short for any of the urinal so he was just gonna use the floor drain he pulled his wanger out and the other guy was oustouned at the size of it and said thats crazy....the midget claimed to be a leprechaun and told the guy you let me put this thing in your a.ss you will achieve one just like it so the guy agreed.....after wards there was no change and the guy said i cant believe i let you do that the midget said i cant believe you believe in leprechans

2006-07-09 10:41:20 · 9 answers · asked by stone cold 4

A man goes to a toy store to buy a Barbie doll for his daughter. The shop assistant says: "There are several different Barbie dolls available. For example:
'Camping Barbie' for $27,95,
'Wedding Barbie' for $27,95,
'Beach Barbie' for $27,95,
'Mermaid Barbie' for $27,95,
'Divorced Barbie' for $527,95."
The man replies: "Well, but why does "Divorced Barbie" cost $500 more than the other dolls??"
The shop assistant: "Well you see, "Divorced Barbie" comes along with a lot of extras: Ken's house, Ken's car, Ken's motorbike, Ken's plasma tv ......."

2006-07-09 10:29:51 · 35 answers · asked by Eudora 3

A woman was having twins. Her husband was away on a buisness trip. Her stupid brother came to the hospital. After she gave birth she went into a coma. She had one girl and one boy. Since she was knocked out her brother named the babies.
What did her stupid brother name her son and daughter?

Note: First one to get it right gets best answer

2006-07-09 10:04:27 · 16 answers · asked by Drama Queen 6

2006-07-09 10:04:18 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-09 09:55:38 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-09 08:54:52 · 21 answers · asked by MrBudbag 3

2006-07-09 08:20:51 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous