Jokes & Riddles - July 2006

A time when they’re green, a time when they’re brown,
But both of these times, cause me to frown.
But just in between, for a very short while,
They’re perfect and yellow, and cause me to smile!
What am I talking about here?

2006-07-10 04:35:25 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-10 04:34:28 · 8 answers · asked by LoLa 1

read each line out aloud with out making no mistakes. if you mess up start all over again...

this is this puzzle
this is is puzzle
this is how puzzle
this is to puzzle
this is keep puzzle
this is an puzzle
this is idiot puzzle
this is busy puzzle
this is for puzzle
this is forty puzzle
this is second puzzle

see if u can work it out

2006-07-10 04:34:06 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-10 04:30:45 · 34 answers · asked by PIMPSTA! 1

did yall here on the news last nite?These scientists breed a shi tzu with a bulldog.they called it a bull ****

2006-07-10 04:00:54 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

My brother is always dissing me and messing with my stuff. He's my only older brother, but I'd like to get him back.

2006-07-10 03:41:31 · 12 answers · asked by Switch Blade 1

i'm not picking a best answerer for this one, because it's supposed to be a secret. i just want to see the answers that ya'll come up with. my brother and dad and i say it a lot, but people in the puiblic areas have no idea....i just want to see what you guys think of it.

2006-07-10 03:29:32 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-10 03:23:54 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

to fill up the dog house?

2006-07-10 03:19:50 · 15 answers · asked by Little Elvis 1

Adam's father is my grandfather's grandson. My father has no brothers or sisters. I have no brothers or sisters. Who is Adam?

2006-07-10 03:10:38 · 29 answers · asked by bryanstrider 2

2006-07-10 03:08:34 · 19 answers · asked by bmbm 2

In a public Bathroom? I like to maintain this fantasy I am in there all alone, know what I mean? Usually I give polite answers, sometimes not what I am thinking though. Here are some of the Questions have been asked.
Work: Hey what do you think about that new company policy?
Vacation Rest Stop Stall: Where are you folks headed?
Hospital stall: What are you in here for?

2006-07-10 02:47:14 · 5 answers · asked by laughsall 4

Did you know, that 1 out of 4 Americans has appeared on tv?

Did you know, 61% of all hits on the internet are on sex-sites?

Every day 21 newborn babies will be given to the wrong parents

The average person swallows 8 spiders in a year


The average person laughs 13 times a day

Elvis was originally blonde

Eskimoes use refrigerators to keep food from freezing

41% of all people take people with curly hair less seriously

Did you know, that there is no such thing as an anti-wrinkle-creme?

22% of the time, a pizza will arrive faster then an ambulance in Great Britian

Did you noe..no human can bite their elbow???

and finally..
.
.

.
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.
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.
.

After reading this...85% of readers will try to bite their elbows....

So did you know???

2006-07-10 02:45:48 · 25 answers · asked by vicizav_v 5

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?" The bartender considers it, then agrees. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the Blues.

After the man finished his drink, he asked the bartender, "If I show you an even better trick, will you give me free drinks for the rest of the evening?" The bartender agrees, thinking that no trick could possibly be better than the first. The man reaches into another pocket and pulls out a small bullfrog, who begins to sing along with the rat's music.

While the man is enjoying his beverages, a stranger confronts him and offers him $100,000.00 for the bullfrog. "Sorry," the man replies, "he's not for sale." The stranger increases the offer to $250,000.00 cash up front. "No," he insists, "he's not for sale." The stranger again increases the offer, this time to $500,000.00 cash. The man finally agrees, and turns the frog over to the stranger in exchange for the money.

"Are you insane?" the bartender demanded. "That frog could have been worth millions to you, and you let him go for a mere $500,000!" "Don't worry about it." The man answered. "The frog was nothing special. You see, the rat's a ventriloquist."

http://www.total-knowledge.com/~willyblues/

2006-07-10 02:22:12 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

LITTLE GIRL: Mommy, I just found out that our
neighbour! 's son h as a p*enis like a peanut!
MUM: You mean it's small?
LITTLE GIRL: No it's salty!!!

Teacher asked: Which part of the body goes to heaven first?
A Kid replied : The legs...because everynight I see my mum's legs up high and screaming "OH GOD! I'M COMING".

Teacher: Why did you bring your cat to school?
Pupil : Because I heard my sister's boyfriend say, "! TONIGHT I WILL EAT YOUR P*USSY".

MUM: Didn't I tell you if a stranger touches your breast say "DON'T".
And if he touches your p*ussy say STOP!
GIRL : But mum, he touched both, so I told him DON'T STOP!!!!"

2006-07-10 00:59:22 · 25 answers · asked by talkbox 4

2006-07-10 00:47:33 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

I like ice-cream.
I like airoplane jelly.
Airoplane jelly for meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

And yep I like them for dinner, but I like them together. Yep bored. :)

2006-07-10 00:33:28 · 24 answers · asked by Purplgirl 5

One day, a boy approaches the pope and ask
'is god a man or a woman'.
the pope decides to tease the boy and say
'both'
'is god black or white'
'both'
is god gay or straight'
'both'
the boy confused ask 'POPE IS MJ GOD????'

2006-07-10 00:03:41 · 19 answers · asked by serial kisser 2

who wants to go with me.?

i cant wait to sleep in the comfy beds of micheal jackson.
My parents are letting me go AGAIN, It was fun last-time.
He let me play with toys...and he treated me good....he alwayz kept me warm.

Anyways want to go?
We will have lots of fun!!!!!! please come with me..some reason im usually the only one there....please!!! i need company...to play in the great wonderful house of Micheal Jackson..
I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!!!!!! CAN YOU?????

2006-07-09 23:46:26 · 10 answers · asked by RabbitHellFoxHeaven 2

2006-07-09 23:44:10 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous

were you from? what time is it there? hows the weather..?

2006-07-09 23:27:30 · 23 answers · asked by perfect_demise 2

note: not recommended for ages...14 or below....do to the...maybe some material may not be considered for age 14 or below do..the the nature of the site........just focus on the video..nothing else...cuz they are pretty....obscene links on the sides..but its your choice...


the woman......act like shesa pure christian..and yet she curses...



http://www.extremefunnypictures.com/funnypic1151.htm

2006-07-09 23:19:22 · 3 answers · asked by RabbitHellFoxHeaven 2

2006-07-09 23:19:16 · 30 answers · asked by sky_blue_king 2

try to sit in a pin...

can u think of any more....

2006-07-09 23:13:42 · 14 answers · asked by dancingdoll 3

2006-07-09 22:32:09 · 12 answers · asked by kevyn_uk 2

just tell me your best joke if u make me last the most u get best answer simple as that

2006-07-09 22:32:03 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

Don't let worry kill you -- let the church help.
Thursday night - Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
Tuesday at 4:00 PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.
Wednesday, the ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs. Jones will sing, "Put me in My Little Bed" accompanied by the pastor.
Thursday at 5:00 P.M. there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become little mothers, please see the minister in his study.
This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the alter.
The service will close with "Little Drops of Water." One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.
Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and do so.
The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement Friday.
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
The preacher will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth With Joy."
Today...Christian Youth Fellowship House Sexuality Course, 8 p.m. Please park in the rear parking lot for this activity.
During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when A. B. Doe supplied our pulpit.
The Rev. Adams spoke briefly, much to the delight of his audience.
The church is glad to have with us today as our guest minister the Rev. Shirley Green who has Mrs. Green with him. After the service we request that all remain in the sanctuary for the Hanging of the Greens.
The `eighth graders' will be presenting Shakespeare's "Hamlet" in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

2006-07-09 22:15:21 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

check this ones out
1.Your mothers so fat, she irons her clothes on the driveway.

2.Your mothers so fat, she sells shade in the summer.

3.Your mothers so fat, when I got on top of her my ears popped.
4.Yo momma so fat, scientists have declared her *** to be the 10th planet.

5.Yo momma is so dumb she tripped over a cordless phone.
6.Yo momma's face is so pimply that her tears need a 4x4 to get down her face.

ooh and sample this
TOP TEN TV SHOWS IN IRAQ

10. Husseinfeld

9. Mad About Everything

8. Allah McBeal

7. Wheel of Fortune and Terror

6. Achmed's Creek

5. The Price is Right if Saddam Says it's Right

4. Children Are Forbidden From Saying Anything Darndest

3. The Brian Benben Bin Laden Show

2. Buffy the Slayer of American Imperialist Dogs

1. Suddenly Sanctions

2006-07-09 21:59:11 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-09 21:58:52 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-09 21:57:53 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous