this is the easiest way of getting points on here!!!!?

Question

just tell me your best joke if u make me last the most u get best answer simple as that

Answer 1

Wow Magic Beer!

A lady walks into a bar and sees a really cute guy sitting at the counter. She goes over and asks him what he is drinking.

"Magic Beer", he says.

She thinks he's a little crazy, so she walks around the bar, but after that there is no one else worth talking to,goes back to the man sitting at the bar and says,

"That isn't really Magic Beer, is it?"

"Yes, I'll show you." He takes a drink of the beer, jumps out the window, flies around the building 3 times and comes back in the window.

The lady can't believe it: "I bet you can't do that again."

He takes another drink of beer, jumps out the window, flies around the building three times, and comes back in the window.

She is so amazed that she says she wants a Magic Beer, so the guy says to the bartender, "Give her one of what I'm having."

She gets her drink, takes a gulp of the beer, jumps out the window, plummets 30 stories, breaks every bone in her body, and dies.

The bartender looks up at the guy and says, "You know, Superman, you're a real jerk when you're drunk!"

Answer 2

A brunette, a redhead and a blonde all go for a job interview. Each woman will be given the same simple test to decide whether or not they get the job.

The brunette enters first and the man tells her to climb up the shadow and touch the lightbulb. At this point the brunette turns around to him and says:"Don't be stupid, you can't climb up shadows." So she is given the job.

Next is the redhead. Sure enough the same thing happens and she gets the job as well.

Next is the blonde, the man says to her,"Climb the shadow, touch the lightbulb and the job is yours." The blonde looks puzzled for a minute then turns around and says:"Don't be stupid, I'm not falling for that one. I'll get halfway up and you'll turn out the light."

Answer 3

The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind this very tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you."

Yes, she says, "I remember it well."

Okay, he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old times sake?"

She says, "Oh Charlie, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but very good idea!

There's a police officer sitting in the next booth listening to all this, and having a chuckle to himself.
He thinks, "I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble." So he follows them.

They walk haltingly along, leaning on each other for support, aided by walking sticks.
Finally they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence.

The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers.
As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.

Suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the watching policeman has ever seen.
This goes on for about 10 minutes. Finally, they both collapse panting on the ground.
The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life that he didn't know.

After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on.

The policeman, still watching thinks, this was truly amazing. I've got to ask them what their secret is.

As the couple passes, he says to them, "Excuse me, but that was something else. You must have had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?"

The old man says, "Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence."

Answer 4

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.

The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.

He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.

Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.

The blonde started laughing.

This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.

This time the blonde laughed even harder.

Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.

The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.

The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"

Answer 5

the jokes that were written before this were very hilarious especially the 1 about the blonde who crashed the truck.
i don't know any jokes but the ones i've heard r very cool.
and u'r right
this is the easiest way 2 get points coz all i have 2 do is say that i don't know any jokes!
ha, ha, ha, ha

Answer 6

Morty was in his usual place in the morning sitting at the
table, reading the paper after breakfast. He came across an
article about a beautiful actress that was about to marry a
football player who was known primarily for his lack of IQ
and common knowledge.

He turned to his wife with a look of question on his face.
"I'll never understand why the biggest jerks get the most
attractive wives."

His wife replies, "Why thank you, dear!"
Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him.

One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it became apparent they would marry, he thought to himself, she'll never go through with the marriage with me carrying on like this, so he made the
supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.

Shortly after that they were married.

A few months later, on the way home from work, his car broke down and since they lived in the country, he called his wife and told her he would be late because he had to walk. On his way home, he passed a small cafe and the wonderful aroma of baked beans
overwhelmed him.

Since he still had several miles to walk he figured he could walk off any ill effects before he got home. So he went in and ordered, and before leaving had 3 extra large helpings of baked
beans. All the way home he putt-putted. By the time he arrived home he felt reasonably safe.

His wife met him at the door and seemed somewhat excited. She exclaimed, "Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for you for dinner tonight!"

She put a blindfold on him, and led him to his chair at the head of the table and made him promise not to peak.

At this point he was beginning to feel another one coming on.

Just as his wife was about to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang. She again made him promise not to peek until she returned, and away she went to answer the phone.

While she was gone, he seized the opportunity. He shifted his weight to one leg and let go. It was not only loud, but ripe as a rotten egg. He had a hard time breathing, so he felt for his napkin and fanned the air about him.

He had just started to feel better, when another urge came on. He raised his leg and RRIIIPPPP!!! It sounded like a diesel engine revving, and smelled worse. To keep from gagging, he tried fanning his arms a while, hoping the smell would dissipate. He got another urge. This was a real blue ribbon winner, the windows shook, the dishes on the table rattled and a minute later the flowers on the table were dead.

While keeping an ear tuned in on the conversation in the hallway, and keeping his promise of staying blindfolded, he carried on like this for the next ten minutes, farting and fanning each time with his napkin. When he heard the phone farewells he neatly laid his napkin on his lap and folded his hands on top of it. Smiling contentedly, he was the picture of innocence when his wife walked in.

Apologizing for taking so long, she asked if he had peeked at the dinner table. After assuring her he had not peeked, she removed the blindfold and yelled, "SURPRISE!!!"

To his shock and horror, there were twelve dinner guests seated around the table for his surprise birthday party.
One day, Pete complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts. I guess
I should see a doctor." His friend said, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that can
diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine, and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10.00.

Pete figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00.

The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper which read:

You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy labor. It will be better in two weeks.

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this could be fooled. He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool
sample from his dog, and urine samples
from his wife and daughter. To top it
off, he masturbated into the concoction.
He went back to the drug store, located the computer, poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00.

The machine again made the usual noises, flashed lights, and printed out the following analysis:

Your tap water is too hard.
Get a water softener.

Your dog has ringworm.
Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.

Your daughter is using cocaine.
Put her in a rehabilitation clinic.

Your wife is pregnant . . . twin girls.
They aren't yours.
Get a lawyer.

And if you don't stop jerking off, your elbow will never get better.
i hope you liked them.....if so those 10 points plzzzz!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 7

Q: How do you tell which end of the worm is the head ?

A: Tickle the middle and see which end laughs.

Q: How can you tell if there's been a hippo in your fridge?

A: He leaves his initials in the butter

Q: What animal talks the most?

A: A yak!

Answer 8

A driver is stuck in a traffic jam on the motorway. Nothing is moving. Suddenly a man knocks on the window. The driver rolls down his window and asks "what's going on?"

"Terrorists have kidnapped Christiano Ronaldo and want £10 million ransom or they will douse him in petrol and set fire to him. We are going from car to car for a collection".

Driver asks "how much is everyone giving, on average?"

Man replies.... "About a gallon"....

Answer 9

Can I borrow 5 points. Will return with interest.

Answer 10

create more then 1 id, ask question from other id(s) and answer from 1, then choose yourself best answer.

heheheheh thats how china do