Jokes & Riddles - July 2006

a woman walk's into the church on the happiest day of her life she looks up at the alter an see's her husband she walks up kisses him on the cheek and shuts the ******* lid!

2006-07-09 08:11:01 · 35 answers · asked by claire bk 1

something to think about

2006-07-09 07:59:48 · 30 answers · asked by psychicfiles 3

i will give 10 points to the funniest one

2006-07-09 07:58:22 · 25 answers · asked by Mickey 2

Exampe: if you could watch a million seconds go by then you would be watching the clock for 11 1/2 days. If you watched a billion seconds pass then you would watch the clock for 33 1/2 years.

2006-07-09 07:55:47 · 14 answers · asked by dr. misako 2

There was this girl who had very expences earrings. One day, while she was walking down a street, this man pulled it out of her ears. She lost the earrings, but wasn't hurt. How can this be?

2006-07-09 07:31:21 · 15 answers · asked by Ichigo Lunette 2

Artificial intelligence

2006-07-09 06:58:37 · 25 answers · asked by MrBudbag 3

2006-07-09 06:54:57 · 17 answers · asked by robert 2

2006-07-09 06:46:29 · 14 answers · asked by projetkarma 2

2006-07-09 06:31:28 · 18 answers · asked by blueblast66 1

I turn polar bears white
and I will make you cry.
I make guys have to pee
and girls comb their hair.
I make celebrities look stupid
and normal people look like celebrities.
I turn pancakes brown
and make your champagne bubble.
If you squeeze me, I'll pop.
If you look at me, you'll pop.
Can you guess the riddle?


97% of Harvard graduates can not figure this riddle out, but 84% of kindergarten students were able to figure this out in 6 minutes or less. Can you guess the correct answer? Good luck!

2006-07-09 06:31:12 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

A young guy from Minnesota moves to Florida and goes to a big
"Everything Under One Roof" department store looking for a job.

The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?"

The kid says "Yeah. I was a salesman back in Minnesota."

Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job. "You start tomorrow.
I'll come down after we close and see how you did."

His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the
store was locked up, the boss came down.

"How many customers bought something from you today?"

The kid says, "one".

The boss says "Just one? Our sales people average 20 to 30 customers a
day. How much was the sale for?"

The kid says, "$101,237.65."

The boss says, "$101,237.65? What the heck did you sell?"

The kid says, "First, I sold him a small fishhook. Then I sold him a
medium fishhook. Then I sold him a larger fishhook. Then I sold him a
new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he
said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we
went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine
ChrisCraft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull
it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that
4x4 Expedition."

The boss said "A guy came in here to buy a fishhook and you sold him a
BOAT and a TRUCK?"

The kids said "No, the guy came in here to buy tampons for his wife and
I said, "Dude, your weekend's shot, you should go fishing."

2006-07-09 06:30:02 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-09 06:17:51 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-09 06:15:33 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous

...black and white and black and white and black and white and blue?

2006-07-09 05:56:59 · 18 answers · asked by mb5_ca 3

one of mine is I Bet I Can Quit Gambling

2006-07-09 05:52:49 · 42 answers · asked by palmerinkid 1

2006-07-09 05:51:04 · 14 answers · asked by Kryztal 5

If no one gets it correct I will post answer in two days!

2006-07-09 05:48:03 · 6 answers · asked by Crispy critter 3

A man trying to understand the nature of God asked him: "God, how
long is a million years to you?"

God answered: "A million years is like a minute."

Then the man asked: "God, how much is a million dollars to you?"

And God replied: "A million dollars is like a penny."

Finally, the man asked: "God, could you give me a penny?"

And God said, "In a minute."

2006-07-09 05:39:07 · 14 answers · asked by simply_boring 4

AAA B D EEEE FFF G HHH I J KKK .....?

2006-07-09 05:21:19 · 11 answers · asked by big_dave_x 4

2006-07-09 04:59:50 · 18 answers · asked by blueroses4 2

After a local Post Office burglary, four suspects were being interviewed. Below is a summary of their statements. Police know that each of them told the truth in one of the statements and lied in the other. From this information can you tell who committed the crime?

Alan said:
It wasn't Derek
It wasn't Brian

Brian said:
It wasn't Charles
It was Derek

Charles said:
It was Alan
It wasn't Derek

Derek said:
It was Charles
It wasn't Alan

2006-07-09 04:47:17 · 11 answers · asked by big_dave_x 4

what begins with E, ends in E, and holds only one letter??

2006-07-09 04:40:32 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

another riddle for those of you who love em like i do!

2006-07-09 04:22:33 · 22 answers · asked by ♥āngelic♥děmon♥ 3

2006-07-09 04:21:19 · 9 answers · asked by ♥āngelic♥děmon♥ 3

there was an american,a frechman and an englishman.these people said to them 'go into the forest and pick 10 of the same fruit each' so the american comes back with ten apples and they tell him 'shove those 10 apples up your butt without making any facail expression or we'll kill you!' so he pops up in heaven screaming 'OWW!' the frenchman walks back with 10 berrys. The people say 'shove those 10 berrys up your butt without making any facial exppression or we'll kill you!' so he pops up in heaven next to the american, laughing his head off.
'why did you laugh?!'the american asked him 'you were almost done!you could've lived!' so he tells him,
'because i saw the englishman walk in with ten pineapples!'

2006-07-09 04:13:37 · 14 answers · asked by ♥āngelic♥děmon♥ 3

I saw this Q in Y! Answers before but it is still funny.
Correct answer is not necessary. Be funny with your answer but not dirty. I'm ready to report for violation he he he he...

2006-07-09 04:10:27 · 6 answers · asked by LiN 6

who would you wager your moolah on, the all mighty super man from the new hit movie super man returns, or my all time favorite actor stephen spielberg in a large flowing cape with a zuess helmet on and some pink thongs over a some knit stockings, ew ptooey!? so who would you go with (vomit now)??

2006-07-09 04:03:22 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

can anyone out there please help, i have this huge mathematical equation test rapidly approaching me in the near future and i have no clue of any of the questions on it, i for sure know one of the questions, it is 'what is the square root of 44x multiplied by the number of tiles in a men's bathroom floor if the restroom is a 16 foot by 275 million foot occupancy, if each tile is 3 inches by 1.9 centimeters in daimeter, and the letter x = a large rotisery chicken breast?? how am i supposed to know the answer to that?? can anyone help?? the correct answer wins my eternal thanks, a night on the town, and perhaps i will let you slip me a rufee!! thanks a crap load my peoples!!

2006-07-09 03:59:07 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

was it to show his immortality?

2006-07-09 03:58:38 · 4 answers · asked by RACHEL 3

hello and welcome 2 the mental health hotline
if u r obsessive compulsive press 1 repearedly
if u r co dependent please ask someone to press 2 4 you
if u have multiple personalities press 3 4 5 and 6
if u r paranoid we know who u are and what you want stay on the line so we can trace the call
if u r delusional press 7 and your call will b transferred 2 the mothership
if u r schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell which number 2 press
if u r maniac depressive it doesnt matter which number u press no 1 will answer
if u r dyslexic press 865325478929136
if u have a nervous disorder please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on the line
if u have amnesia press 8 and state your name address phone number date of birth credit card number and your mothers maiden name
if u have post trumatic stress disorder slowly and carfully press 911
if u have bi polar disorder please leave a message after the beep, or before the beep. or after the beep

2006-07-09 03:56:27 · 1 answers · asked by Anonymous