Jokes & Riddles - July 2006

2006-07-08 17:04:44 · 13 answers · asked by schleppin 3

As your eyes aren't the best.
I walk along showing you where to go,
After all I've been trained to know.
On four like a chair,
You follow me closely until I bring you there.
What am I?

2006-07-08 16:54:52 · 11 answers · asked by union_lonely_girl 3

2006-07-08 16:44:22 · 11 answers · asked by cody s 2

A police officer pulled over a driver and informed him that because he was wearing his seat belt, he had just won $5,000 in a safety competition.
“What are you going to do with the prize money?” the officer asked.

The man responded, “I guess I’ll go to driving school and get my license.”

At that moment, his wife, who was seated next to him, chimed in, “Officer, don’t listen to him. He’s a smart aleck when he’s drunk.”

This woke up the guy in the back seat, who, when he saw the cop, blurted out, “I knew we wouldn’t get far in this stolen car.”

At that moment, there was a knock from the trunk and a voice asked, “Are we over the border yet?”

2006-07-08 16:35:04 · 21 answers · asked by iamigloo 6

2006-07-08 16:28:33 · 14 answers · asked by wild_muff_diver 1

2006-07-08 16:25:44 · 6 answers · asked by wild_muff_diver 1

2006-07-08 16:08:47 · 45 answers · asked by electrodude3 1

2006-07-08 15:53:49 · 52 answers · asked by ? 2

Answer this question if you just clicked it to see what it was. I want to know how many ppl just wanted to see what this was

2006-07-08 15:53:12 · 17 answers · asked by Big Fat Wrinkley Elbow 3

Yo mama, blonde,any

2006-07-08 15:30:51 · 11 answers · asked by Melanie Einalem 2

haaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

2006-07-08 15:26:04 · 16 answers · asked by mikedhurley 1

I guess its a curse being that im a Mr.Boodle Mcnoodle

2006-07-08 15:22:15 · 5 answers · asked by Mr. Boodle McNoodle 3

there was once a lady who was falling frm a building. she was caught by a german man who was looking out of a window.
'oh thank u! thank u! how can i repay u?' she asked him.
'u will have to sleep with me.' he replied.
'no way!' she said and the man dropped her.
she was once again falling and an american man caught her.
'oh thank u thank u ! how can i ever repay u?? she asked the man.
'sleep with me' he said.
'nno way!' she said and he dropped her. while falling she thought..
'damn! i should hav slept with one of these guy, atleast i would have been alive!
and then a muslim man caught her.
'oh thank u, thank u! no problem, i will sleep with u!' she said,
the man just screamed 'ASTAKFIRULLA*!' and he dropped her.

* it means Sorry God for the mistakes i have made

2006-07-08 15:10:35 · 16 answers · asked by saifali_1993 1

Tell me a good joke we all need a laugh.

2006-07-08 15:08:15 · 13 answers · asked by thatlunatic 2

2006-07-08 14:49:14 · 8 answers · asked by shannon a 1

1. let it down slowly
2. rat poison only kills rats
3. ill get your toast out
4. its strong enough for the both of us
5. this doesnt taste right
6. i can make this light before it changes
7. nice doggie
8. i can do this with my eyes closed
9. ive done this before
10. well we've made it this far
11. thats odd
12. ok this is the last time
13. with those guns, those guys couldnt hit the side of a........
14. dont be so superstitious
15. now watch this
16. this planet has an atmosphere just like on earth
17. what duck?

2006-07-08 14:28:03 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

One Morning while making breakfast, a man walked up to his wife and pinched he on the Butt and said:

"If you firmed this up....we could get rid of your control top panty hose"
while this was on the edge of intolerable, she kept silent.

The next morning, the man woke his wife with a pinch on each of her breasts and said:

"you know if you firmed these up..........we could get rid of your bra.
This was beyond a silent response, so she rolled over and grabbed him by his penis---with a death grip in place she said:

"You know, if you firmed this up.......WE COULD GET RID OF THE GARDENER, THE POSTMAN, THE POOL-MAN, AND YOUR BROTHER"

PS.
GET IT?--------------SHE IS SLEEPING WITH THEM BECAUSE HER HUSBAND ISN'T FIRM DOWN THERE.
PS.
ON A SCALE FROM 1-10, WANT WOULD YOU GIVE THIS JOKE?

2006-07-08 14:11:16 · 61 answers · asked by Anonymous

i want to see what's inside belly dancer's navel!

2006-07-08 13:45:04 · 7 answers · asked by Belly-Stabber 1

you can shrink yourself so tiny!

2006-07-08 13:41:38 · 4 answers · asked by Belly-Stabber 1

:-"

2006-07-08 13:40:40 · 8 answers · asked by neato 1

please try not to be filthy

but if you must......

2006-07-08 13:32:25 · 12 answers · asked by Cyn 2

go to www.stickdeath.com

I was scared at first.

closed the window right away. LOL

2006-07-08 13:06:21 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

A man is lying in a hospital bed with an oxygen mask over his mouth. A young nurse enters his room to sponge his face and hands. "Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "Are my testicles black?" Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know Mr. Jones, I'm only here to wash your face and hands." He struggles again to ask, "Nurse, are my testicles black?" Again the nurse replies, "I can't tell. I'm only here to wash your face and hands." The head nurse walks by and sees the man getting a little distraught, so she marches over to find out what's wrong. "Nurse," he mumbles, "are my testicles black?" The head nurse whips back the sheets, pulls down the man's pajamas, moves his penis out of the way, has a good look, pulls up the pajamas and says, "There's nothing wrong with them." Frustrated at this, the man pulls off his oxygen mask and asks again, "I said, are my test results back?!"

2006-07-08 13:04:32 · 26 answers · asked by KingCoconut 2

2+2=?

2006-07-08 12:50:15 · 31 answers · asked by spazlover94 2

2006-07-08 12:40:13 · 12 answers · asked by metria334 2

I heard he may have lost some members....hehe

2006-07-08 12:39:30 · 6 answers · asked by merlin_steele 6

whats the funniest yo momma joke that you have ever heard..

i know a lot so make it funny!

2006-07-08 12:39:18 · 16 answers · asked by [J] [E] [N] 2

2006-07-08 12:31:54 · 14 answers · asked by Giggly Giraffe 7

MEGAN THE PLAYFUL SPIRIT ones her naMe was MEG THE PEACEFUL SOUL if so please give me your discription of her oh yes also heard she was suspended from yahoo answers.

2006-07-08 12:31:25 · 6 answers · asked by THE QUEEN 1

Back in the day when chicken nuggets only come in a box of 6, 9, or 20. What is the largest number of chicken pieces that you cannot order?

example: you can get 12 by getting 2 boxs of 6s.
but there is no way to order 11 nuggets

2006-07-08 12:20:35 · 19 answers · asked by Dr. A, Luc, you 2