Yo Momma...?

Question

whats the funniest yo momma joke that you have ever heard..

i know a lot so make it funny!

Answer 1

Yo Mama So Stupid
Yo mama so stupid I told her drinks were on the house...so she went and got a ladder
Yo mama so stupid she make Homer Simpson look like a Nobel Prize winner
Yo mama so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Cif.
Yo mama so stupid she noticed a sign reading 'Wet Floor'...so she just did!
Yo mama so stupid it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes.
Yo mama so stupid when you were born, she looked at your umbilical cord and said, "Wow, it comes with cable too!"
Yo mama so stupid she asked for a refund on a jigsaw puzzle complaining it was broken.
Yo mama so stupid she got locked in the Quickie Mart and nearly starved to death.
Yo mama so stupid she sold her Car for Petrol cash!
Yo mama so stupid she reckoned a Quarterback was a refund...
Yo mama so stupid she once attempted to commit suicide by jumping off a Kerb.
Yo mama so stupid she leaves tell tales signs she's been using my computer - white out (tipp ex) is on the screen.
Yo mama so stupid she took a job cutting grass on an Oil Rig.
Yo mama so stupid I found her peaking over a glass wall to see what was on the other side.
Yo mama so stupid it took her 2 days to make Microwaveable Pot Noodles.
Yo mama so stupid she invented a silent car alarm.
Yo mama so stupid hat when you stand beside her you can actually hear the ocean
Yo mama so stupid she really thought the cinema was selling Free Willies...
Yo mama so stupid she watches The Three Stooges and takes notes.
Yo mama so stupid she was born on Halloween and can't remember her birthday.
Yo mama so stupid she thought Morning Dew was a New York radio station.
Yo mama so stupid she lost her shadow.
Yo mama so stupid she went to a Whalers game to see Shamu.
Yo mama so stupid she thought Hot Meals were stolen food.
Yo mama so stupid she make Laurel and Hardy look like Nobel Prize winners.
Yo mama so stupid when I asked her to purchase me a Colour TV she asked me...'Which colour?'

Yo Mama So Ugly
Yo mama so ugly she put the Boogie man outta business.
Yo mama so ugly she make Michael Jackson look like Brad Pitt
Yo mama so ugly when she wobbles down the street in September, folk say, "Damn it, can't believe it's Halloween already..."
Yo mama so ugly when she applied for the ugly contest they told her 'NO Professionals'
Yo mama so ugly she looked out her window and was arrested for indecent exposure!
Yo mama so ugly minutes after she was born her Mother shouted 'What a treasure!" and her Poppa said "Yes, now let's go and bury her..."
Yo mama so ugly they push her face into the dough mixture when making Monster cookies.
Yo mama so ugly when they took her to the Beautician it took 10 hours....and that was just for the quote!
Yo mama so ugly yer Daddy takes her to work each day so he doesn’t have to kiss her goodbye...
Yo mama so ugly she put Marilyn Manson out of business.
Yo mama so ugly she was a guard at Snake Mountain
Yo mama so ugly they knew what time she was born cuz her face stopped the clock...
Yo mama so ugly even Harry Knowles refused to date her.
Yo mama so ugly they embalmed her face on a box of super-strength laxatives and sold it empty!
Yo mama so ugly she gets 364 extra days just to dress up for Halloween.
Yo mama so ugly Tony Blair moved Halloween to her birthday.
Yo mama so ugly you papa throws the ugly stick and she goes fetches it every time.
Yo mama so ugly she scared the stitching outta Frankenstein.
Yo mama so ugly we had to tie a steak round her neck so the dogs would play with her.
Yo mama so ugly I heard yer Father first met her at the Zoo.
Yo mama so ugly her shadow gave up.
Yo mama so ugly people at the Zoo pay cash so they DON't have to see her...
Yo mama so ugly her mom had to be Pissed drunk just to breast feed her.
Yo mama so ugly when born, the doctors had to fit her incubator with tinted windows.
Yo mama so ugly hotel managers use her picture to keep away the Rats.
Yo mama so ugly instead of round the ankles, they put the Bungee Jumping cord round her neck.
Yo mama so ugly they gave her a middle name...'accident'.
Yo mama so ugly she fell out of the Ugly Tree, hitting every branch on the way down.
Yo mama so ugly when she walked into the Haunted House, she came back out with a Job Application!
Yo mama so ugly even Slicky Willy Clinton refused to sleep with her...
Yo mama so ugly when she was born the Doc smacked her face.

Your Mama So Fat
Yo momma so fat that when she fell in the ocean, the whales started singing'" We are family, even though you'e bigger than me!"
Your mama so fat when she step on the Weight Scales it says...'to be continued'...
Your mama so fat she once went on a seafood diet...whenever she saw food she ate it!
Your mama so fat folk exercise by jogging around her!
Your mama so fat when she bends over, we enter Daylight Saving Time.
Your mama so fat she sat on a Nintendo Gamecube and it turned into a gameboy
Your mama so fat she make Kiko the Whale look like a Smartie
Your mama so fat NASA plan to use her to shore up the hole in the Ozone layer
Your mama so fat she was measured at 38-26-36 and that was just the left arm...
Your mama so fat small objects orbit her.
Your mama so fat she make olympic sumo wrestlers look anerixic.
Your mama so fat when she farted she launched herself into orbit.
Your mama so fat she lost a game at Hide & Seek only cause I spotted her...behind Mount Everest.
Your mama so fat when I had to swerve to avoid hitting her on the road I ran out of Petrol!
Your mama so fat she could be the eighth continent.
Your mama so fat she nearly put Safeway out of business
Your mama so fat the only thing that's attracted to her is gravity.
Your mama so fat her Uni graduation photo was an aerial
Your mama so fat when she auditioned for a part in Raiders of the Lost Ark she got the part of the big Rolling Ball.
Your mama so fat she make Jabba the Hutt look anorexic.
Your mama so fat her fave food is seconds.
Your mama so fat her belt size is Equator.
Your mama so fat she eats Desert out of a Trash Can lid
Your mama so fat she wears an 'X' jacket and Copters attempt to land on her
Your mama so fat she shows up on radar.
Your mama so fat she needs a map to find her butt.
Your mama so fat she fell into the Grand Canyon....and got stuck!
Your mama so fat she wears an asteroid belt.
Your mama so fat her Passport photo says 'Picture is continued overleaf'
Your mama so fat she has TB ... 2 bellys.
Your mama so fat she's once, twice, three times a lady.
Your mama so fat she was in the Daily Record last week on page 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9.
Your mama so fat the circus use her as a trampoline
Your mama so fat stunt agencies use her as an air mattress
Your mama so fat when she opens the Fridge it says - 'I give up...'
Your mama so fat she got a new gig at the Cinema...she works as the screen
Your mama so fat she once told me 'I could eat a horse'...believe me, she wasn't kidding!
Your mama so fat she deep fries her toothpaste.

Yo Moma So Poor
Yo mama so poor that your family ate Cornflakes with a fork to save milk.
Yo mama so poor they put her photo on food stamps.
Yo mama so poor when I visited her trailer, 2 cockroaches tripped me and a Rat tried to steal me wallet.
Yo mama so poor she waves an ice lolly around and calls it Air conditioning.
Yo mama so poor burglars break into her home and leave money.
Yo mama so poor when I told her about the last supper she thought the food stamps had run out.
Yo mama so poor the building society repossed her cardboard box.
Yo mama so poor she watches television on an Etch-A-Sketch.
Yo mama so poor each night she goes to KFC to lick other folk's fingers
Yo mama so poor she can't even afford to go to the free clinic.
Yo mama so poor when I saw her kickin a can down the road I asked her what she was doing....'Moving' she replied.
Yo mama so poor I caught her trying to use food stamps in the Gobstopper machine.
Yo mama so poor when I rang her doorbell, SHE said 'Ding-Dong'
Yo mama so poor I asked her where the 'facilities were' and she replied - "Pick a corner...ANY corner..."
Yo mama so poor I visited her house, tore down the cob webs and she screamed - "Who's tearing down the drapes!!!!"
Yo mama so poor I walked into her home, asked if I could use her toilet, and she said "Sure thing, it's 4th tree on your right..."
Yo mama so poor only time she smelled Hot Food was when a rich bloke farted...
Yo mama so poor when I saw her wobbling down the street with 1 shoe, I hollered - "Lost a shoe?", and she said - "Nope...just found one..."
Yo mama so poor she hangs the Toilet paper out to dry.
Yo mama so poor closest thing to a car she owns is a low-riding Shopping trolley....with a box on it...
Yo mama so poor she had to take out a second mortgage on her cardboard box.
Yo mama so poor I once threw a stone at a garbage can, and out she popped saying - "Who knocked???"
Yo mama so poor I went through her front door and tripped over the back fence.
Yo mama so poor she does drive by shootings on the school bus.
Yo mama so poor when se asked me over to dinner I took a paper plate from the kitchen and she groule - "Don't use the good china."

Yo Mama So Old
Yo mama so old she left her purse on Noah's Ark.
Yo mama so old Jurassic Park brought back the memories...
Yo mama so old when she ran the 100 metre dash, they timed her with a sundial.
Yo mama so old she still owes Moses a dollar.
Yo mama so old when she was at school...there was No history class!
Yo mama so old she uses her hot flushes to heat her cup of Tea
Yo mama so old she co-wrote the 4th Commandment.
Yo mama so old when I asked for her ID she handed me a rock
Yo mama so old she even made Yoda jealous.
Yo mama so old she recalls when the Grand Canyon was a ditch.
Yo mama so old the fire department are on standby when you light her birthday cake
Yo mama so old when she gave birth, You came out with Dentures.
Yo mama so old she sat in front of Jesus in 1st grade
Yo mama so old her first job was as Cain and Abel's baby-sitter.
Yo mama so old her birthday expired.
Yo mama so old when Moses parted the Red Sea, he found yo momma fishing on the other side!
Yo mama so old she got the first copy of the Ten Commandments.

Yo Mama Like
Yo mama like a hardware store - only 10 cents a screw.
Yo mama like a bus - only 50 pence a ride
Yo mama like a shotgun - first she cocks...then she blows.
Yo mama like a Hoover - she sucks, blows, and finally gets laid back in the closet...
Yo mama like a BT phonebox - on every damn corner and costs only 20p a go
Yo mama like an arcade machine - dirty, smelly, costs 20 pence and lasts 30 seconds
Yo mama like a door knob - cos everybody gets a turn!
Yo mama like the sun - if you stare at her too long you're gonna go blind.
Yo mama like a Christmas tree - everybody hangs balls on her.
Yo mama like Pizza Hut - not there in 30 minutes...it's free.
Yo mama like a Bowling Ball - she gets picked up, fingered, thrown into the gutter, yet she still comes back for more...
Yo mama like a stamp - you lick her, then stick her, and finally then send her away.
Yo mama like McDonalds ... Billions and Billions served...
Yo mama like a railroad track - she gets laid all over the country.
Yo mama like the Pillsbury dough boy - everybody loves to poke her
Yo mama like a Scooter - everybody ridin her but nobody admitting it
Yo mama like peanut butter -- oh so smooth, creamy, and easy to spread.

Yo Mama so Smelly
Yo Mama so smelly the government make her wear a Biohazard warning
Yo Mama so smelly she made Right Guard call for backup.
Yo Mama so smelly even the dogs won't smell her.
Yo Mama so smelly an old blind geezer walking by asked her 'yo, how much for the shrimp platter?"
Yo Mama so smelly that when she spread her legs, I got seasick...
Yo Mama so smelly she wiz playin in my Sand Box and the cat came along and buried her.
Yo Mama so smelly her poo is glad to escape.
Yo Mama so smelly that standing next to a skunk, the Skunko smells sweet!
Yo Mama so smelly that the only dis I'm gonna give her is Disinfectent...
Yo Mama so smelly that when you was being born, the doctor's and nurses all had to wear oxygen masks...
Yo Mama so smelly even sewer rats get outta her way...
Yo Mama so smelly that farmers use her bathwater as liquid fertilizer...

Yo Mama So Dirty
Yo mama so dirty she has to creep up on the bath water.
Yo mama so dirty that standin next to a tramp, she make the tramp look like a butler.
Yo mama so dirty that her house is so dirty I gotta wipe my feet before I go back outside.
Yo mama so dirty she lost 2 stone after taking a shower
Yo mama so dirty that even the Swamp Thing insisted she showered.
Yo mama so dirty that Saddam Hussain tried to import her bath water to use as chemical weapons.

Yo Mama so Greasy
Yo mama so greasy Texaco buy oil from her
Yo mama so greasy she got a job at the cinema - buttering popcorn with her leg hair...
Yo mama so greasy her freckles slipped off.
Yo mama so greasy the Chip Shop uses her sweat as Deep Fry
Yo mama so greasy she sweats butter, syrup, excretes jam...and has a full time job at the 'Pancake Palace' wiping pancakes across her forheed
Yo mama so greasy her idea of bottled water is the left over oil slime from a bacon, sausage and egg fry up.
Yo mama so greasy she uses bacon as a band aid.

SORRY IF THAT WAS TOO MUCH!!!

Answer 2

Yo momma is so ugly she walked into a a beauty contest and they said the dog contest is next week

Answer 3

Yo momma wears combat boots and a matress on her back

Answer 4

Your Mamma said to tell you not to be asking for those stupid Yo Momma jokes.

She says it makes you look and sound stupid when you tell them.

Says it makes you sound like ignorant White trash.

Answer 5

yo momma's teeth is so yellow, traffic slows down when she smiles,Yo momma so fat she saw a yellow bus full of white kids and said, "STOP THAT TWINKIE!! ", yo momma is so fat she sat in a bathtub half full and it over flowed and there is more but i dont wanna type them

Answer 6

Yo momma is so dumb she thinks Klingons live on Uranus.

Answer 7

Yo Momma is so fat, when she got on t.v. she was on every channel.
(its stupid i know)

Answer 8

if ugliness was bricks,your momma would be a housing project.

Answer 9

its kinda long so when you start reading dont stop unitl its done
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yo mama so fat she went swimming in the gulf of mexico and farted.thats what caused hurricane katrina!!

Answer 10

you momma is so dumed she retrind a donnnut be cas it had a hole in it ha ha ha

Answer 11

yo mamma so dumb she stole free bread yo mamma so dumb she got stabbed in a gunfight