Jokes & Riddles - July 2006

study a joke in this link. and rate it

http://www.jokesgallery.com/joke.php?joke=4022&id=1

2006-07-08 04:05:25 · 6 answers · asked by Rajesh K 2

it a joke..........

2006-07-08 04:05:15 · 9 answers · asked by clownluv♥ 2

1. should the cabin lose pressure, oxygen masks will drop from the overhead area. please place the bag over your own mouth and nose before assisting children or adults acting like children
2. to operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle and pull. it works like every otrher seatbelt, and if you dont know how to operate 1, you probably shouldnt be out in public supervised
3. in the event of a sudden losss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face
4. if you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assinsting with theirs. if you are traveling with 2 small children, decide now which 1 you love more
5. your seat cushions can be used for flotation, and in the event of an emergencywater landing, please takethem with our compliments
6. ladies and gentlemen, please remain in your seas with your seatbelts fastened while the captain taxis whats left of our plane to the gate

2006-07-08 03:58:28 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous

1.What do hens study in college? Ans: egg-onomics
2.Where do animals go when they lose their tails? Ans: retail store.

2006-07-08 03:52:17 · 13 answers · asked by Rajesh K 2

2006-07-08 03:45:42 · 17 answers · asked by maynerdswife 5

A man meets a genie the genie tells him he can have whatever he wants provided that his mother in law gets double . The man thinks for a moment then says ok give me a million dollars and beat me half to death

2006-07-08 03:42:02 · 17 answers · asked by Rajesh K 2

K I T E S A M

2006-07-08 03:39:08 · 12 answers · asked by miracles 1

2006-07-08 03:21:00 · 9 answers · asked by easye 1

answer,,,,
because they can ''''''

2006-07-08 03:18:11 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

Do you think the price of pork would go up,
And you Would be a Squadron Leader,

2006-07-08 03:10:23 · 10 answers · asked by itsa o 6

and Cuervo?

2006-07-08 03:04:47 · 7 answers · asked by ? 6

Jack & John were big buddies at school, and met again after an abscence of twenty years.
" So what's new ?" asked Jack. "I swotted languages" says John.."got my honours too. Met my wife at varsity, she writes poems & quotes, and has a bachelors degree in literature.
We are closely linked to culture you know...
My son is a concert pianist in America for the Philharmonic orchestra, and my daughter is head ballerina in Londons ballet circles..
you really must bring the family over one night and we celebrate a real cultural evening together...
what have you done with your life Jack ?"..
and Jack said .." i have always been a fighter from schooldays, you know..became a boxer, met my wife there.Her father is a boxing promoter, women were not allowed to box those days..you know..., so she has a black belt in karate .
My son has national colours for wresling, and my daughter represents our country in Judo...
you must really bring the family along one evening so we can stuff you's up..

2006-07-08 02:31:02 · 15 answers · asked by Featherman 5

Who is:

A bible character without a name
Who died a death none have died before
And who's shroud can be found
on the shelf of any grocery store?

2006-07-08 02:28:15 · 6 answers · asked by Arlene06 4

rearrange these names, and u'll see who they are..

• Britney Spears: best PR in years

• Justin Timberlake: I'm a jerk, but listen

• Madonna Louise Ciccone: occasional nude income. & one cool dance musician.

• Arnold Schwarzenegger: he's grown large n' crazed

• William Shatner: slim alien wrath & Will is earthman

• Elvis Aaron Presley: Seen alive? Sorry, pal & earns lovely praise

• David Letterman: terminal dead TV & nerd amid late TV

• Clint Eastwood: old west action & lies down to act

• Jennifer Aniston: fine in torn jeans

• Saddam Hussein: UNs said he's mad

• Marilyn Monroe: in lore, my Norma & I marry loon men
• Sean Connery: on any screen

• Sharon Stone: no near shots & *** on throne

• Jim Morrison: Mr. Mojo Risin'

• Howard Stern: wonder trash

• Frodo Baggins: bad ring's goof

• Sherlock Holmes: heh smells crook

• Babe Ruth: he rub bat

2006-07-08 02:18:25 · 6 answers · asked by -curbside- 4

lol.com-A blonde is driving down the road she sees a cop flashing his lights behind her. She pulls over. The cop comes up to her window and the blonde realizes that the cop is a blonde too. The cop says I need your driver's license and the blonde says, "What does it look like?" the cop replies, "It's square and has your picture on it." so the blonde searches through her purse and finds a mirror looks at it then gives it to the cop. The cop says, "Oh, ok I'm sorry I didn't know you were a cop too."

You and your friend are walking along a road and you see a lamp on the ground. You pick it up and a genie comes out. He says, "I will grant you three wishes, but whatever you wish for your friend gets twice as much as you."

You say "OK" and your first wish is for $10,000,000.

The genie says, "You know your friend is gonna get twice as much?"

You say "I know." Your next wish is for a 50,000 ft. yacht.

The genie says "You know your friend is gonna get twice as much?There is a mirror that if you tell it a lie you are sucked into the mirror but if you tell the truth you are given money. A brunette walks up to the mirror and says, "I think I am the tallest person in the world," and shazam she is sucked into the mirror. A few minutes later a ginger haired person walks up to the mirror and says, "I think I am the fattest person in the world," and shazam she is sucked into the mirror. The next day a blonde walks up to the mirror. She stares deep into it and says, "I think," and shazam...

2006-07-08 02:17:11 · 6 answers · asked by trojanrhyme 1

Can you find an eight digit number with the following property. The first digit tells you how many zeros there are in the number, the second digits tells you how many ones there are in the number, the third digit tells you how many twos there are in the number, etc. For example, with the number 21200, there are 2 zeros, 1 one, 2 twos, 0 threes and 0 fours. What is the required eight digit number?

2006-07-08 02:01:35 · 11 answers · asked by big_dave_x 4

2006-07-08 01:54:30 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

Your are driving your two-seated car through a desert, far in the middle of nowhere. About 100 miles away from the nearest town you see on the side of the road an old woman who desperately needs to get to a hospital a.s.a.p, the woman of your dreams and your best friend who once saved your life. What do you do?

2006-07-08 01:35:37 · 10 answers · asked by Dragos 2

2006-07-08 01:19:55 · 10 answers · asked by jozfviktor 1

funny answers are accepted lol.

2006-07-08 01:09:16 · 12 answers · asked by angel 5

Ten trolls' strength,
Ten trolls' length,
One troll can pick it up,
But no troll can stand it up.

2006-07-08 01:06:58 · 7 answers · asked by The Chronicler 4

This wonderous thing,
though not an herb,
Can help comfort the week and the dying.
It can even be used to rally the troops,
Or make one start laughing or crying.

2006-07-08 01:02:41 · 11 answers · asked by The Chronicler 4

duck duck goose with only 2 people?

2006-07-08 00:58:58 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

its funny but real truth.

2006-07-08 00:48:03 · 6 answers · asked by ubeth83 1

What would you do, if I controlled EVERYTHING you did?

2006-07-08 00:41:47 · 15 answers · asked by athorgarak 4

A babysitter came over one day to babysit 10 children. She decided to give them a snack. In a jar there were 10 cookies. She wants to give each one a cookie, but still keep one in the jar. How will she do it? (WITHOUT BREAKING ANY COOKIES-EACH CHILD HAS TO GET A WHOLE!)

2006-07-08 00:27:31 · 15 answers · asked by angel 5

Think of words ending in -GRY. Angry and hungry are two of them. There are only three words in the English language. What is the third word? The word is something that everyone uses every day. If you have listened carefully, I have already told you what it is.

2006-07-08 00:27:23 · 15 answers · asked by big_dave_x 4

2006-07-08 00:23:05 · 3 answers · asked by !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 1

I have the misfortune to own an unreliable clock. This one loses exactly 4 minutes every hour. It is now showing 3:30am and I know that is was correct at midnight, when I set it. The clock stopped two hours ago, what is the correct time now?

2006-07-08 00:21:59 · 8 answers · asked by big_dave_x 4

A black dog is sleeping in the middle of a black road that has no streetlights and there is no moon. A car coming down the road with its lights off steers around the dog. How did the driver know the dog was there?

2006-07-08 00:16:25 · 9 answers · asked by angel 5