Jokes & Riddles - July 2006

for 10 points whats the best joke or riddle ever

2006-07-12 11:11:37 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-12 11:10:32 · 50 answers · asked by Anonymous

Person with the correct answer gets the best answer

2006-07-12 11:09:32 · 7 answers · asked by Allyson B 3

Okay, so I'm minding my own business sitting at my desk, eating some Doritoes, right? And then my eye itches, so without thinking about it I scratch. Um, OW! Dorito dust in the eye. So I go to the restroom to check it out in the mirror, and realize my lip is bleeding. WHAT?! It doesn't hurt... so I wash it off with damp paper towel and look at it. Hmmm blood looks sorta pink-purple. That's when I remember that I had been using a purple pen a while ago, and probably out of habit was biting on the end of it. So now I am bloodshot-Dorito eyed and have a purple lip.

I think it's time to go home.

2006-07-12 11:08:48 · 34 answers · asked by chelle 4

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5350937895849142477&q=funny+adverts

2006-07-12 10:59:03 · 18 answers · asked by ady 4

This is after using the leftover numbers and directions take you to somewhere...

2006-07-12 10:51:05 · 2 answers · asked by Scott H 2

2006-07-12 10:46:36 · 22 answers · asked by dishwasher67 6

the best joke given will get the 10 points

2006-07-12 10:37:20 · 8 answers · asked by hu_hu_cool 3

Guy goes to the doctor with this problem. Doctor says you have to shock yourself when it is about to happen. So the guy buys a starting pistol on the way home.
A couple of days later he goes back to the doctor, who says "how did it go"?


"Not too well" He replies. "I got home , went to bed with my wife, found myself in the 69 position, then realised it was about to happen". " So I fired the starting pistol to shock me out of it"
"So what happened"? says the doctor.
"Well the wife crapped on my face, bit off 2 inches of my dick, and my next door neighbour ran out of the closet naked with his arms above his head"!

How do you stop it happening?

2006-07-12 10:36:54 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

a blonde and a brunette walking down the street behind a guy with dandruff ,think he should get head n shoulders brunette said, blonde replied how do you give shoulders

2006-07-12 10:34:02 · 13 answers · asked by ireland 1

You're stalked by alcoholic vampires.

You have never screwed a cap back onto a liquor bottle.

Your friends pretend to be bartenders, just so you'll pay attention to them.

Your personal mantra is, "Where there's a swill, there's a sway."

You suffer from barthritis- every night you get stiff in another joint.

You don't recognize the difference between "waking up" and "coming to."

You donate a pint of blood and the hospital has to card the patient they give it to.

Your liver enters itself in a Tough Man competition.

You wear Hawaiian shirts because it's tougher to see vomit stains on them.

Going out drinking with you is covered by your friends' insurance.

As a child your dad helped you learn math by first explaining a four-count.

Your personal math system is based on the number six, i.e.: "I'll take a twelver of Big Macs, with a sixer of those without cheese."

You use visualization techniques to master beer bongs.

In high school, you were voted most likely to drink in grade school.

2 for 1 is your lucky number.

A perfect date is a few bottles of wine and why ya need anything else?

http://www.total-knowledge.com/~willyblues/

2006-07-12 10:24:51 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

It begins with a J and ends with a. first on gets 10 pts.

2006-07-12 10:18:14 · 9 answers · asked by JonasObsessionnx3 2

my sister and i have these little rounds of comebacks and i always end up losing, help plz.

2006-07-12 10:17:01 · 4 answers · asked by danyella 3

You pick a door on a game show out of three. One of which contains a car and the other two contain goats. The host then shows you a door with a goat behind it and asks if you want to switch what door you want. Should you switch or stay? Also, what are the chances you will get a car if you switch/stay?

2006-07-12 10:16:55 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-12 10:14:20 · 11 answers · asked by sarah 3

Best joke could win an Ipod or 10 yahoo answers points.

Chances of winning
an IPOD 10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 to 1
chances of points 20 to 1

2006-07-12 10:09:20 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-12 10:07:24 · 13 answers · asked by Signilda 7

LYKE OMG IT'S IS RED !!!!1111!!!!!11ONEONE

2006-07-12 09:52:48 · 14 answers · asked by druncinmunkey 1

can you tie 'em in aknot?can you tie 'em in a bow?do they woble to and fro? do your ears hang low?

2006-07-12 09:49:04 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-12 09:30:43 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

I made this up, so I doubt you can google it.

"I come in a small package. I can travel easily as long as there's air. I can be considered dangerous, but denial works in my favor".

What the heck am I?

2006-07-12 09:21:40 · 22 answers · asked by Sean I.T ? 7

I really just don't have motivation to work and I am in pain. Everyone always says that laughter is the best medicine. Please give me your funniest jokes. Just put a funny word to at least get 2 points Best 1 gets 10 points.

2006-07-12 09:19:38 · 10 answers · asked by philly 2

Each one thought they were the most important part of the body. Which one won and why? I will give the answer and explanation once I have heard your answers.

2006-07-12 09:18:05 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

Singing on the old bangoooo

2006-07-12 09:17:47 · 6 answers · asked by Melissa N 2

do you know a better tongue twister

2006-07-12 09:13:15 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

my boyfriends brother is short and i love picking on him with short jokes, or short comments
like...you need to borrow some money,cause you are SHORT on cash...

2006-07-12 09:05:19 · 10 answers · asked by ? 2

2006-07-12 09:01:56 · 35 answers · asked by GD-Fan 6

Thanks everyone! Really good one's too. One's i probably never heard b4!

2006-07-12 08:26:58 · 17 answers · asked by nobody is home 3

.



why was the mexican happy using rightgaurd?


because he just realized that he could use it under his left arm to..


why are there no wal-marts in IRAQ?



because theres a target at every corner.

2006-07-12 08:23:49 · 17 answers · asked by T[]-[]E Wiggles 1

A shark walks in to a bar and the bartender says "I'm sorry but we don't serve your kind here." The shark says....

2006-07-12 08:16:46 · 21 answers · asked by Annette G 3