Jokes & Riddles - July 2006

a guy says....you gas, break and dip

2006-07-12 05:02:36 · 12 answers · asked by j.maly 1

2006-07-12 05:01:29 · 13 answers · asked by BOYCUTE 2

A DOCTOR YOU RACIST!

2006-07-12 05:00:08 · 13 answers · asked by POR-FRY-CHICKEN 3

2006-07-12 04:53:13 · 15 answers · asked by BOYCUTE 2

AND IM ABOUT TO GRAB IT WITH BOTH HANDS...AND NEVER LOOK BACK...TALLY HO...

2006-07-12 04:49:43 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

come on peoples, let me her em, i konw everyone has a good pick up line , i usually say " can i buy you a drink ? this ones on me , than hopefully later ill be on you !! lol

2006-07-12 04:46:53 · 25 answers · asked by caliboy80 2

2006-07-12 04:46:27 · 13 answers · asked by chris 2

i don't know either my friend told mme about it

2006-07-12 04:43:44 · 11 answers · asked by j.maly 1

Whats better than getting a a gold medal at the Special Olympics



A: Not being disabled in the FIRST place

2006-07-12 04:41:52 · 7 answers · asked by POR-FRY-CHICKEN 3

2006-07-12 04:31:48 · 3 answers · asked by fran a 1

What does this stand for?
L nch
L nch


(ex. Hot Handle
Hot Handle
= two hot to handle)

2006-07-12 04:30:53 · 32 answers · asked by wildliv 2

i'm on level 2. it sucks how did u get there???

2006-07-12 04:26:58 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous

What's a mixed feeling?



seeing your mother-in-law backing off the cliff in your brand NEW car.

2006-07-12 04:10:01 · 12 answers · asked by POR-FRY-CHICKEN 3

You know what I don’t agree with is missionaries.
Missionaries go from house to house spreading their beliefs, their way of life and passing out pamphlets to every one.
Everyone has their own Ideas that’s great
But in that way
I respect whores more
When is that last time you seen a group of whores go door to door preaching for others to be whores, passing out kam sutra pamphlets.
Whores practice do on to others as you would like them to do on to you.
They are giving.

See whores don’t go door like Johba Witness.
That’s why you can’t be a Johba Witness and a whore your principals conflict.

2006-07-12 03:54:22 · 23 answers · asked by Nice girl 3

other than on Yahoo Answers. duh!

2006-07-12 03:48:06 · 22 answers · asked by shortgirl 3

1)O H N M T
2)R E O F M D
3)R F T F C A I

2006-07-12 02:31:16 · 14 answers · asked by miracles 1

2006-07-12 02:29:02 · 19 answers · asked by fairy pie 1

Email me a guess and I'll get back to ya soon. houston3567@yahoo.com

2006-07-12 02:28:32 · 6 answers · asked by ? 2

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

(Hardly seems worth it.)


If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.


(Now that's more like it!)


The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.

(O.M.G.!)

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.


(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)


A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.)


(I'm still not over the pig.)


Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour


(Don't try this at home,maybe at work)


The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.


("Honey, I'm home. What the...?!")


The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.


(30 minutes..lucky pig! Can you imagine?)


The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.


(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond? )


Some lions mate over 50 times a day.


(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)


Butterflies taste with their feet.


(Something I always wanted to know.)


The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.


(Hmmmmmm......)


Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.


(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)


Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.


(okay, so that would be a good thing)


A cat's urine glows under a black light.


(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)


An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.


( I know some people like that.)


Starfish have no brains


(I know some people like that too.)


Polar bears are left-handed.


(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)


Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.


(What about that pig??)

2006-07-12 02:09:59 · 36 answers · asked by angie124 2

2006-07-12 02:09:04 · 11 answers · asked by conservativeguyfromnc 2

two people walk into a bar, the first guy says ouch!! i didn't see that bar there!! the second guy walks straight through the wall because he was made out of steel, man, patrick swayze sure is amazing to achieve such a feat!!

2006-07-12 02:08:18 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-12 02:06:39 · 14 answers · asked by Styloroc 4

five clues:
1) greatness
2) chest of beauty
3) best dancer in the world
4) i heart him
5) patrick swayze ( oh crap, i revealed the answer!!)

2006-07-12 02:06:32 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-12 02:06:28 · 9 answers · asked by Sheriff Liz 3

Like How do u no wen a blondes havin a bad day? Her tampons behind her ear and she don't no where her pencil is!!lol!1

2006-07-12 02:03:49 · 30 answers · asked by Dawsy 2

out of three men, who would stand the greatest chance at survival if stranded on a deserted island?? the first being a nature guide with a backpack full of survival gear, the second is a man of the wild, he was born and raised in nature and has never recieved anything man-made, as far as he knows, he is the only man alive, that is how deep in nature he is, or the last but most certainly not least, with only a can of hairspray and a gleamingly attractive chest and ripped up pirate's shirt on, and some pirate boots, and a bandana on, we have patrick swayze, who would you place your money on?? i am going with the swayzemaster!! all the way, how could he not survive, he would surely outlast all these other jokesters, like for sure!!

2006-07-12 02:03:21 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

who is the most handsome of creatures god has blessed us with, a small hint: no one looks better in a pair of tight black jeans and an unbottoned- half- way red shirt nor can they dance as good as this man, he has magnificent hair and who is he??

A) wayne gretzky
b) chewbacca from star trek
c) patrick swayze ( hint: this is the correct answer)
d) mr. roboto from the chronicles of narnia

2006-07-12 01:57:37 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

i have a riddle for you i dont know the answer so any thoughts would be helpful.

It's more mightful than god.
It's more evil than the devil.
The happy ones need it.
The poor ones have it.

2006-07-12 01:56:54 · 13 answers · asked by Samantha 2

A levantine mother and a rotweiller?

2006-07-12 01:45:43 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

A beautiful young blonde woman was appearing in court to face a public disorder charge. When her name was called out in the court foyer, she brushed her hair, checked her make-up, took a deep breath, and walked into the court and took to the witness stand.   

The charges were read out, and she was asked how she pleaded.   

"Not guilty," the blonde answered emphatically.   

The prosecution council then approached the blond and said, "Is it true that on the 11th of December, last year, you committed acts of gross indecency with a one-legged dwarf who was waving a union jack on the roof of a car, while traveling at over 100 mph through the center of Newark, in a blizzard and you were totally nude?"

The blonde composed herself, looked straight at the prosecution council and calmly said, "What was the date again?" 

http://www.total-knowledge.com/~willyblues/

2006-07-12 01:41:19 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous