Jokes & Riddles - July 2006

id luv 2 here from youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

2006-07-11 21:50:13 · 15 answers · asked by harmony 2

YOU PERVERT

2006-07-11 21:34:47 · 15 answers · asked by RabbitHellFoxHeaven 2

2006-07-11 21:33:31 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

A sadistic drill sergeant runs his platoon of recruits all over the camp in the hot sun with heavy packs on. As they stand there, exhausted, he puts his face right up to one recruit's face and says, " I'll bet you're wishing I would die so you could come and urinate on my grave, aren't you?"

And the recruit says, " No, sir! When I get out of the army I'm never gonna stand in another line again."

lolz enjoy :)

2006-07-11 20:52:06 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

WELL..IT CAN'T HURT TO "HOPE" CAN IT?

2006-07-11 20:48:32 · 6 answers · asked by RabbitHellFoxHeaven 2

me...niether

2006-07-11 20:37:15 · 15 answers · asked by RabbitHellFoxHeaven 2

2006-07-11 20:30:58 · 28 answers · asked by bankster 3

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel plans. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My loving wife

Subject: I've arrived Date: April 6, 2006

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then. Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

P.S. sure is freaking hot down here!!!!!

2006-07-11 20:27:35 · 16 answers · asked by ♥ The One You Love To Hate♥ 7

2006-07-11 20:26:47 · 13 answers · asked by rockstar12321 2

There are 100 light bulbs lined up in a row in a long room. Each bulb has its own switch and is currently switched off. The room has an entry door and an exit door. There are 100 people lined up outside the entry door. Each bulb is numbered consecutively from 1 to 100. So is each person. Person No. 1 enters the room, switches on every bulb, and exits. Person No. 2 enters and flips the switch on every second bulb (turning off bulbs 2, 4, 6, …). Person No. 3 enters and flips the switch on every third bulb (changing the state on bulbs 3, 6, 9, …). This continues until all 100 people have passed through the room. What is the final state of bulb No. 64? And how many of the light bulbs are illuminated after the 100th person has passed through the room?

2006-07-11 20:19:46 · 20 answers · asked by 42ITUS™ 7

2006-07-11 20:15:18 · 21 answers · asked by jet_tyrus 2

The chances of that happening are about as good as Steadman getting Oprah pregnant! Or what?

2006-07-11 20:09:34 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

It is said among my people that some things are improved by death. Tell me, what stinks while living, but in death, smells good?

2006-07-11 20:02:17 · 10 answers · asked by 42ITUS™ 7

2006-07-11 19:57:15 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

Two accountants are in a bank when armed robbers burst in. While several of the robbers take the money from the tellers, others line up the customers, including the accountants, and proceed to take their wallets, watches ..etc..
While this is going on, the first accountant jams something into the second accountant's hand. Without looking down, the second accountant whispers, "What's this?" To which the first accountant replies, " It's that $50 I owe you."...

2006-07-11 19:41:33 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

There were three women, a Brunette, a Red Head, and a Blonde. They all worked together at an office.
Every day they noticed that their boss left work a little early. So one day they met together and decided that today when the boss left, they would all leave early too.
The boss left and so did they. The Brunette went home and straight to bed so could get an early start the next morning. The Red Head went home to get in a quick work out before her dinner date. The Blonde went home and walked into the bedroom. She opens the door slowly and saw her husband in bed with her boss, so she shut the door and left.
The next day, the Brunette and the Red Head are talking about going home early again. They ask the Blonde if she wants to leave early again.
"No," she says, "yesterday I nearly got caught!"

2006-07-11 19:41:10 · 10 answers · asked by ♥ The One You Love To Hate♥ 7

analy injected death sentence
you got anny?

2006-07-11 19:31:55 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

Last time we saw this riddle:

Why was the middle ages so very dark?
A: Because there were alot of knights!

Hehe. That was pretty hard too I guess, but one persone got it right. Ok, time for today's riddle:

Where can you always find diamonds?

Good luck! :)

2006-07-11 19:30:59 · 13 answers · asked by iamigloo 6

give her a tes-tickle

2006-07-11 19:29:15 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

1.
I point up to the heavens, and then there is light!
I point down to the earth, adn there is light no more!

2.
Twin brother standing side by side.
One the son of the sea, and
one the daughter of the soil.

3.
If a hen lays an egg on the roof, on what side of the house will the egg roll down?

hehe

2006-07-11 19:06:46 · 12 answers · asked by iamigloo 6

dO yOu LIIke know the LIIke AnSwEr To this QuEStiOn????????? ToTAllY CooL, DuUde!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-07-11 19:00:41 · 14 answers · asked by Anni M 1

2006-07-11 18:52:15 · 18 answers · asked by Anni M 1

this is the way i feel when i get a call on my cell phone!
http://www.2flashgames.com/f/f-Angry-Caller-2832.htm

2006-07-11 18:25:51 · 10 answers · asked by perfect_demise 2

2006-07-11 18:25:35 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

Garth: Rock on, Wayne!

Wayne: Rock on, Garth!

2006-07-11 18:20:13 · 7 answers · asked by 42ITUS™ 7

.






Whats better than winning a medal at the special olympics?



not being handicapped.


whats the cuban national anthem?



ROW ROW ROW your boat.



2 mexicans sittin a tree one took a crap and then there were 3.



what do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes?

nothing, shes already been told twice.. (i know thats mean but its only for humor)

How did the handicap cross the road?

he didnt the battery in his wheelchair ran down.....to bad it was electric

there was a japanese,mexican,and a american on a boat, it was sinking so they had to toss stuff off in order to stay a-float

the mexican throw tacos over and says i have to many of those in my country...

the japanese throws rice over and says i have to many of those in my coutnry...

the american throw the mexican over and says i have to many of those in my country.

2006-07-11 18:16:07 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-11 18:08:53 · 31 answers · asked by 42ITUS™ 7

A husband stepped on one of those penny scales that tell you your fortune and weight and dropped in a coin.

"Listen to this," he said to his wife, showing her a small, white card.

"It says I'm energetic, bright, resourceful and a great lover."

"Yeah," his wife nodded, "and it has your weight wrong, too."

2006-07-11 18:06:47 · 15 answers · asked by iamigloo 6

How high do you have to count before you get to a number, that when it's spelled out (in English), contains an 'A'?

2006-07-11 18:02:29 · 23 answers · asked by 42ITUS™ 7

Try not to make the jokes dumb/stupid/old! And try to make mutiple jokes too!

2006-07-11 17:59:04 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous