for 10 points?

Question

for 10 points whats the best joke or riddle ever

Answer 1

Two brothers 4 and 6 decide it's time for them to start cussing, 6 year old says:
"When we go down for breakfast I'll say something with word damn in it and you say something with word a_s in it"
4 year old agrees. When they came down for breakfast mom asks them:
"What do you boys want for breakfast?"
6 year old says: "I'll have damn cheerios" mom drops everything she's doing and starts yelling at the boy, he runs up the stairs crying with mom in hot pursuit, she tells him to get in his room and not leave until she tells him to. She comes back downstairs and asks 4 year old what he wants for breakfast, he answers:
"I don't know mom but you can bet your fat a_s it won't be cheerios"

You're standing in front of two doors, behind one door is death, behind the other doors is life. One door always lies, one door always tells the truth. You are only allowed one question to find out which door to go thru. What is the question?

Answer 2

WHY THANKSGIVING DINNER IS BETTER THAN SEX

10. You're sure to get at least one of your favorite dishes.

9 The turkey never suffers from modesty.

8. You can nibble before dinner even if mom sees you.

7. You are expected to pass the dishes around.

6. There are always at least two kinds of dessert, with or without whipped cream.

5. They give you the day off with pay to have dinner.

4. Thanksgiving dinner is a 'sure thing.'

3. Seconds are encouraged. Take home, too!!

2. No one's feelings are hurt when you fall asleep afterward.

1. You're expected to watch football BEFORE and AFTER dinner.

Answer 3

a guy is sitting at a bar smilling he bets the bartender 50 $ that he can pee in a shot glass in the counter without missing so the bar tender accepts the bet cause he knows hes drunk so the man pees and misses all over the bar the bartender is happy he won so he starts cleaning it up he looks at the guy hes really happy so he asks why are you so happy man says cause i bet the guy way over there 500$ i could pee all over the bar and you would clean it up with a smile.

Answer 4

A duck went in to a bar and ordered a drink the bar tender ask how would you like to pay for this the duck said
put it on my Bill

Answer 5

Q: Is it good manners to eat fried chicken with your fingers?
A: No, you should eat your fingers separately.


The Taco Bell Chihuahua, a Doberman and a Bulldog are in a bar having adrink when a great-looking female Collie comes up to them and says, "Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me."

So the Doberman says, "I love liver and cheese." The Collie replies, "That's not good enough."

The Bulldog says, "I hate liver and cheese." She says, "That's not creative enough."

Finally, the Chihuahua says, "Liver alone . . . cheese mine."




Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words, "Give me all your money or I'll shoot," the man shouted, "That's not what I said!"




I read every diet I can get my hands on. I even follow their suggestions. But eventually, inevitably, I always get fat again. Now, at last, I've found The Answer. After living for almost 14 years with a man who never gains an ounce no matter what I serve him, I've found out what it is that keeps him thin: He thinks differently. The real difference between fat and thin people is that thin people:

avoid eating popcorn in the movies because it gets their hands greasy;

split a large combination pizza with three friends;

think Oreo cookies are for kids;

nibble cashews one at a time;

think that doughnuts are indigestible;

read books they have to hold with both hands;

become so absorbed in a weekend project they forget to have lunch;

fill the candy dish on their desks with paper clips;

counteract the midafternoon slump with a nap instead of a cinnamon Danish;

exchange the deep-fryer they received for Christmas for a clock-radio;

lose their appetites when they're depressed;

think chocolate Easter bunnies are for kids;

save leftovers that are too skimpy to use for another meal in order to make interesting soups;

throw out stale potato chips;

will eat only Swiss or Dutch chocolate, which cannot be found except in a special store;

think it's too much trouble to stop at a special store just to buy chocolate;

don't celebrate with a hot-fudge sundae every time they lose a pound;

warm up after skiing with black coffee instead of hot chocolate and whipped cream;

try all the salads at the buffet, leaving room for only one dessert;

find iced tea more refreshing than an ice-cream soda;

get into such interesting conversations at cocktail parties that they never quite work their way over to the hors-d'oeuvre table;

have no compulsion to keep the candy dish symmetrical by reducing the jelly beans to an equal number of each color;

think that topping brownies with ice cream makes too rich a dessert;

bring four cookies into the TV room instead of a box;

think banana splits are for kids.

Answer 6

there was a young woman from Leeds who swallowed a packet of seeds.
it soon came to pass she was covered with grass and couldn't sit down for the weeds

Answer 7

Q:How would you know that this is a blonde's son??
Ans: Because he rubs everything written, from his note book when the teacher rubs the black board.

Answer 8

once a boy wanted to take a shower with his dad.so he asked.dad can i take a shower with you?he said ok,but dont look at my limousine(private spot).the next day he wanted to take a bath with mom.so he asked.mom,can i take a shower with u?she said yes,but dont look at my garage(private spot).
later on the boy said 'mom open the garage so dad could put his limousine in'

Answer 9

How can you keep yourself from being shot by Dick Cheney while hunting?


dress in a quail costume

Answer 10

A towel