Marriage & Divorce - 11 November 2007

after a family wedding recently the women of 7 generations sat around and the conversation of marriage and what we wanted, and what we thought was wanted in us by the husband, when it came to being a wife.

It was all light hearted, but some things suprised me with the differences and similiarities across the age groups (some teenage girls, some married for over 40 years!).

The older women reccommended that to have a happy relationship the wife needed to do three things:

In the house and money matters, treat him as your partner, giving him the same respect as you would want at work, and pulling your weight to make it work accordingly (both with finance and keeping the house 'nice'.)

In the bedroom, treat your husband as your lover, and keep the romance alive as you yourself would want it.

When he's ill, look after him like his mother would!

It made us all laugh, but I was wondering what your guys thought was the secret to success!

2007-11-11 23:58:02 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

Besides that we got a five months old baby girl. Would this be a negative life to my daughter in her future? My husband still contact with his ex-girl friend. Thanks for answering my question.

2007-11-11 23:57:11 · 12 answers · asked by ting ying 1

i told it to my husband and told me not to see him anymore.

2007-11-11 23:39:12 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

he wasnt on anly hard drugs but was a party animal all eltham misses him bjripmate

2007-11-11 23:11:08 · 4 answers · asked by jamie r 2

but we never go out and celerbrate,so sad. Since 05 till now ,no reaction? Is true the longer your marraige ,they are as plain as water?

2007-11-11 22:41:19 · 9 answers · asked by angelsoft 3

This is the first Christmas in 3 years that I will have spent with my boyf and we're both very excited about it. I normally spend xmas at home, but mum was happy with me coming to see the family on boxing day instead.

BUT.. . she phones last night to say she wants to come up, stay in my flat while I stay the night with the boyfriend and then spend xmas day with us. From the sound of it dad isn't too keen. Second, the boyfriend probably won't be too keen seeing as we were really looking forward to it being just us in the mornng and then his daughter coming in the evening.

How do I tell him my parents have invited themselves to our christmas? I don't want to tell them not to come as spending Christmas together has always been a big thing for us and she obviously isn't ok with us spending it apart so is making the effort to come up to me. BTW we live about 2 1/2 hrs apart!

Thanks!!

2007-11-11 22:25:43 · 9 answers · asked by kittenwhiskers456 3

since the last years wedding of her younger son mil only pampers the younger dil.. giving her new clothes every other day etc etc . My hubby/I never spk loudly pr rudely to her but my bil is brutal and rough and somehow it is coming up as an asset for him.... now im tired.. my sis in law was arriving home today with her new born kid and i wanted to decorate the house with balloons..but my mil said Ah balloon is not for kids/adults.. its for birrthdays..so now she is decorating the house ..stairs with flowers(petals) etc .. she doesnt want me to do anything ...well im tired..how do i react?

2007-11-11 22:18:15 · 5 answers · asked by barley 2

I am now a days very confused about my marriage. I do love a girl, (I don’t know whether she loves me or not) and want to marry her, but my family members think that I should do marriage according to their wish. According to them, the girl should be their relative, and, if not, then she should be a working lady, so that she can help me financially.

What do you think, should I go for my love or I should do according to wish of my family.

2007-11-11 22:14:03 · 11 answers · asked by Aamir A 1

I have a problem may affect in my marriage. my wife do not treate me as a true husband because she sleep in a room and i sleep in another room. she also do not like sex and she do not like to touch my hand. when i ask her she say by time things will change i need somebody to help me or send me an email for anybody who can help me to know if the problem is from my side or my wife is the problem. PLEASE save my marriage i love my wife................

2007-11-11 21:37:11 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

I have a friend of mine, who we used to live and hang out together. He moved from Texas to California. He just text me a message saying he just find out that he cannot fertilize a woman so he need my help. My help should be high secret thing. He is requesting me to sign an agreement, for me to be sleeping with is wife to get him pregnant, They had talked about this between them and agreed. So if she becames pregnant, I will never claim the child to be mine. The wife wants a child really bad. She dont want to adopt neither. All she want is to give birth to her own child and she feel comfortable if I will do it. To my part, this is the most strangest thing that I have ever faced in my life and I don't know what to tell him. I do respect them very much but as he explain that he don't trust anyone else to do beside me, its weird. I know he has helped me a couple time, he was there for me and now he wants me to be there for him. Can you all help me please in this situation?

2007-11-11 21:21:35 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

I have a friend who I believe to be an alcoholic. Myself and my girlfriend have bent over backwards trying to help him, taking him out with us etc. He lost his wife, his home, and is currently staying at his parents. This has been really rough on them, he is 42 for God's sake. I am running out of things to try and patience. What can I do or do I drop him like a hot brick ?

2007-11-11 21:03:12 · 11 answers · asked by snowleopard300365 2

The 1st marriage was anulled and the 2nd marriage lasted 2 years and ended in mistrust and dishonesty.

2007-11-11 20:40:41 · 13 answers · asked by MIA 4

Im a very talented person but have made a lot of mistakes in my life. How do I get a life back on track thats near failure?

2007-11-11 20:38:47 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous

My father died some years ago, but my parents divorced when I was five. Now in my thirties, I got married several years ago. I was the last child to leave home and get married. My mom retired two years before I got married. Then I got married and the whole relationship changed. My brothers and sisters had fallen out with her many times over the years, so when I left home, she was aggressive with me too, and my wife. It put unecessary pressure on our marriage. My mom never understood that my wife, and my life, comes first. It has to, right?

Anyway, I find it harder and harder to be friends with my mom. My question is, how much should I be doing for her? She is a generally negative person, even though I try and gee her up, she is not interested in improving her life, alwayts seeing the black side of things. Add in that she gets really nasty when she drinks alcohol.

I care about her, but can't bear spend time with her. What else should I do?

2007-11-11 20:23:43 · 13 answers · asked by jonoxk 3

my lover is the sweetest , funniest, loving guy and i belive that he really love me but when he got angry at me he yell and say bad words at me, he's like a crazy person wd mental illness ") , and blame me for making him behave that way ?!? i really dont understand, should i stay or go?

2007-11-11 20:20:04 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

he says that his wife is "stalking" him, and she wont let him do anything because she has convinced herself that hes a cheater, even though he is not. Apparantly she checks his time cards to verify hours he was working and she also insists on going with him everywhere to make sure he isnt cheating . etc.. etc... he said its a living hell. He asked me what he should do, I am going to print this and show him your answers. thanks

2007-11-11 19:54:30 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

Hi everyone, I posted last night nd thanks for your support, and now I would like to kno how stupid am I?

Brief backgrund;

Just come out of a 10 year marriage at my instigation over a number of reasons (four months), the main one being her unfaithfulness (5 years ago), and that she was using the fact that I would love to have kid as a tool to keep me sweet.

She now has a new fella, and though it i early days already she is thinking of having kids!

What the fu*&!

So my question is have I just thrown away my chance of having birth children, of being involved in one the greatest experiences any two people can have?

Just a quick not we have two adopted children that live with me, and thay are antastic

2007-11-11 19:42:51 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

We are both in our thirties and living together for almost 11yrs. and staying w/ my in laws. We have a 7y.o boy & a 1yr 9 month bby girl. He & the girl lived together for a yr & has a child(the reason he married the girl). he still managed to come home to us in the years their together. The moment the girl knew this, she surrendered & my partner agreed w/ her coz he thought we deserved him. But my in laws made friends with her for the sake of the kid. I feel awkward about it that sometimes I want to leave him. But he assures me no reconcillation will happend & I can see his regrets. But I'm jobless & afraid my kids will grow up in a broken family. Which me too is a product. What should I do?

2007-11-11 19:39:50 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-11-11 19:33:43 · 28 answers · asked by michelle m 1

Don't know what to do. I'm playing babysitter, while he goes out with his girlfriend for the weekend. What can I do? I've tried to work things out with him. He says it's not happening, and the answer is no. No matter what I do, he says, he won't take me back. I'm not perfect, but I did play Susie homemaker for 8 yrs and had his 3 children. He seems to think he has found someone that makes him happier than I did.

Please help.

2007-11-11 19:20:34 · 14 answers · asked by Time4Tivo 3

My dad cheated on my mom at least once before but my mom stayed with him. They have had a lot of problems since then over money & just about anything else. For good reason, my mom doesnt trust him anymore and she's always wary of where he is really spending his time & his money. Over the last few months I have found my dad on the computer at odd times at night when everyone else is sleeping or out of the house & a few times when he hasn't heard me walk up, I see tabs with titles like 'sexy ladies' or something which suggests porn, which i guess is semi-normal. Other times I found him browsing on Match.com, & of course when I walk up and he notices me, he immediately minimizes or closes the window(s). All that made me suspicious before, but the last time, I walked up on a email he was writing to a woman named Heather (not my mom) and the subject was 'Hey You'. [will add more details, please wait until i finish]

2007-11-11 19:10:07 · 15 answers · asked by Jenn18 1

married men state that there wife is not giving up the sex.

2007-11-11 19:09:31 · 40 answers · asked by michelle m 1

i had a dream 8 and a half months ago about a man that i fell in love in my dreams,3 weeks later i saw him in real life, he had on the same clothes and he looked exactly the same in person as he did in my dreams.but problem is he is married,we hooked up anyway. broke up because he is maried. every time i dream about him,im always running away from him but he is always there wanting to love me .in real life he does same things as in my dreams. last dream ihad so far is i end up having his baby this dream took place 4 weeks ago.im trying to avoid it so i moved back with parents to avoid my dream from taking place.r my dreams warnings or will it still happen. my dreams do come through. sounds messed up but this is actually real,i keep dreaming of this man .4 insstance i changed my number to avoid him and that night i had a dream that my bro opened the door and let him in ,he walked to my room 2 ask y i changed my # the nex day the dream happend can u hide from things u dream or not

2007-11-11 19:06:51 · 9 answers · asked by kim27 2

i have been married for 2 years now and i just know my husband is cheating and i think he may have feelings for this person because we have been having problems i really love my husband and really cant see myself without him what shall i do?

2007-11-11 19:00:10 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

this sounds weird but im with the man of my dreams. how many people can say that? i met my boyfriend 4 years ago and we started dating, he had to go to new york to work for a few months, so we break up and i move. when i get home i find out im pregnant and its his... so a few months passed and i would call him and not able to reach him. so 6 months into my pregnancy, i lost the baby. still trying to call him and i cant get ahold to him. 2 years pass and i come visit the friend i used to live with down here and i call him and hes home. all that time trying to find himand when i came back to this town for the first time in two years, hes home. we got back together adn ive never left since that day. we get along great, i have everything ive ever wanted. i never need anything. if i wanna go shopping he gives me a couple grand. he doesnt do drugs or drink. hes perfect. he takes care of me very well. i love him with all my heart, hes asked me to marry him. we've been together 2 1/2 years.

2007-11-11 18:59:34 · 11 answers · asked by Jessica 1

I want him to be my own man, no one else, please help. I love him very much, i dont want to share.

2007-11-11 18:58:29 · 23 answers · asked by Maureen T 1

I am an Indian. I was being tortured mentally/physically and econimically by my husband and his parents.After 4 years of tolerating this i launched a crimial procedure under IPC against them and i dont stay with my husband for past 2 months, before being thrown out by husband i was 1month pregnant. Husband and in-laws are currently on bail.The case is in court and will take own course. Recently i saw an advertisement from my husband seeking alliance for this second marriage,i reported to police but they could not help because i am a muslim. Husband told police that he is entititled to marry 4 times. I dont want to divorce him untill the judgement of this case is over and i dont think i can do this also.
Can he really marry without divorcing me or informing me that he is getting married. Also i investigated and found that he is not informing the second would-be wife that he is already married once.

2007-11-11 18:55:24 · 13 answers · asked by Firstwife 1

Because I was lost and it seems that I am nothing in this world

2007-11-11 18:52:40 · 14 answers · asked by Simple Lady 1

I know this sounds odd, but if you discovered that your husband/wife was sleeping with a Psychaitrist who was richer, hotter and younger than you? How would it make you feel? What would you do about it?

2007-11-11 18:52:27 · 10 answers · asked by fireonyourforearms 1

I read many post about divorce and they all say that we have to wait about 2 years. I also saw some DIY websites that say that you don't even have to go to court and your divorce will be completed. Do they still take same amount of time? Me and my partner agrees to get divorce so is it possible to get divorce quickly. We just don't get along anymore, is this a good reason?

My point is that we can part with happiness instead of sadness or trying to hurt or hate each other. I am sure reality will hit us later as we have been together for 20Plus years. I think it is best instead of living together in misery.

2007-11-11 18:41:23 · 14 answers · asked by Mike G 1