I think my dad is cheating on my mom?

Question

My dad cheated on my mom at least once before but my mom stayed with him. They have had a lot of problems since then over money & just about anything else. For good reason, my mom doesnt trust him anymore and she's always wary of where he is really spending his time & his money. Over the last few months I have found my dad on the computer at odd times at night when everyone else is sleeping or out of the house & a few times when he hasn't heard me walk up, I see tabs with titles like 'sexy ladies' or something which suggests porn, which i guess is semi-normal. Other times I found him browsing on Match.com, & of course when I walk up and he notices me, he immediately minimizes or closes the window(s). All that made me suspicious before, but the last time, I walked up on a email he was writing to a woman named Heather (not my mom) and the subject was 'Hey You'. [will add more details, please wait until i finish]

He minimized the window and it went to the yahoo homepage which showed a different email than that which he usually uses. I'm not close with my dad at all, so I'm not comfortable talking to him about it first, but my mom and I are extremely close and I feel like I am lying to her by not telling her. Like I said, he's cheated on her before and this other woman ended up getting pregnant with his baby. A little baby boy, what my mom and dad have always wanted but could never have themselves. I don't want this to go on, but I don't want to tear apart my family either.. what should I do?

Answer 1

Hi Jenn, This is a tough one and very hard on you. Listen to your Heart this will never steer you wrong.What your dad is doing he is doing it to his self and your family. I wish you didn't have to go threw this BIG MESS!!!
A Friend,
poppy1

Answer 2

You wouldn't be tearing up your family, your dad is. I can bet that the same way you are finding these clues, so is your mom. You already say that she doesn't trust him to begin with, so believe me her guard is up and I am sure she is not oblivious to anything he is doing. You can make little comments like, hmmm, dad is on the computer a lot isn't he; or wow, dad was on the computer late last night when we were all sleeping. I can bet, she's noticed already. Sit back, try to relax and if you feel this is bothering you so much, then seek some sort of counseling. You don't say how old you are, but if you are underage, then ask your mom to take you. This would be a good thing.

Answer 3

Well sweetie... YOU are not tearing apart your family by not saying anything... It is your Dad who is doing that. I understand you must be hurt beyond what words could describe... But I would hate for you to loose what a great thing you have with your Mom.... Besides. Think if you were in your Mom's shoes. Wouldn't you want to know what is going on? Your mom deserves the ultimate happiness, and deserves to be treated with the up most respect. Your dad should be doing that for her.. but if not someone better should have that chance. I realize you don't want your family torn apart, but wouldn't you feel best knowing your Mom was happy and being treated the way she deserves to be treated???

I hope this helps. Good Luck... these things are never fun!

Answer 4

Normally I would say it's none of your business, let them handle it. But they can't handle it if she doesn't know about it. And since you do (which, he never should have let you see something like that or get stuck in this situation), I think you need to tell your mother exactly what you saw.

By the way, I've been to match.com, and it's illegal for a married person to use their service. Your father could get in big trouble for that.

Definately, tell your mom, and let her handle it from there. This is something she needs to know!

Answer 5

i admire the respond thqt expresses that all of us do undesirable issues. it rather is so real, we are all sinners and proceed to do undesirable and egocentric issues. this would not make the wear bypass away, and easily saying that he ought to be forgiven would not make your heart gush with forgiveness. however the fact is, you have each good to be offended and you have each good to withhold forgiveness with the aid of fact the international sees it. I mean, it rather is not sufficient that your Dad cheated on your mom... you apart from mght experience cheated, good? Justified anger and justified injury could be as undesirable as unjustified injury and anger, even perhaps worse with the aid of fact there's no set off mechanism that could sign you to be attentive to whilst , "sufficient is sufficient." Does this make experience? reality is forgiveness is this manner of blessing to the single being forgiven and to the single doing the forgiving. Jesus suggested in what we call "The Lord's Prayer, (12) And forgive us our funds owed, as we even have forgiven our debtors. (13) And lead us not into temptation, yet grant us from the evil one. Do you spot the reward in this prayer, or a minimum of the time-honored for forgving and forgiveness. that's, we are asking God to forgive us in a similar way that we forgive. So in a notice, by utilising withholding forgiveness, it rather is driving you loopy, "figuratively." (Your not likely loopy....) considering the fact that i don't be attentive to, listed right here are a pair of questions that is good to be attentive to. what's the situation of your Dad good now..., nonetheless in the affair? searching for forgiveness from you/ from mom? nonetheless in Sin? How is you mom... bitter? Forgiving? notice: this tips can be effective for you mom. Bitterness in basic terms festers and grows. it rather is the devils stronghold..., it rather is gripping. Prayer and forgiveness releases this stronghold. I pray this facilitates, it rather is a heart situation. it rather is marvelous how one persons sin constantly spills over and reasons lots havoc. real heart felt forgiveness with the aid of Christ is the only treatment. A prayer has been despatched forward for you, your mom and your Dad. reward! God cares!!!

Answer 6

Firstly confront your father. Tell him something like "I know that you are cheating on mum. I give you one week to come clean to her, or I will tell her myself." And if he doesn't tell her, please have the courage to do it. If he does, just be there for her, supporting whichever decision she makes, whether its to stay and work it out, or to separate. Remember she's the only one who can really make that decision, but at least give her the facts.

Answer 7

I would tell your mom what you suspect. Let her handle it .Telling your dad may make him hide any evidence of his behavior. His behavior is WRONG. It destroys families and marriages. People who are and want to stay married do not behave this way.

Answer 8

Please girl, stay out of your fathers business. It appears you don't like him or love him that why you are spying on him. It will come to huant you one day. all you have to do it hope that you stay with both parent despite there differences, they may find a way to work out things right. Your dad may be doing that because he might not be happy with your mom and it would make things worse if you too consider joining the troubled marriage. There is something going on in your family between you mom and your dad for them to act differently. the best thing you can do is talk to your mom to find a way to get along with your dad, have a better understandable communication, figure out what is going wrong in her marriage and fix it instead leaving this gap in between. Don't tell your mom what you dad does.

Answer 9

It sounds as if he may be, but I would suggest you staying out of it.

It is an issue between your mum and dad - it will only cause yet more hurt if you get involved too.

Sorry - either way this sucks but hopefully they can work out a solution - whatever that is.

Answer 10

that's tough.. if you're closer to your mom than you are to your dad then i suggest you tell your mom.. besides, telling your mom as early as now will also minimize the chances of you having another half brother..