Hi everyone, I posted last night nd thanks for your support, and now I would like to kno how stupid am I?
Brief backgrund;
Just come out of a 10 year marriage at my instigation over a number of reasons (four months), the main one being her unfaithfulness (5 years ago), and that she was using the fact that I would love to have kid as a tool to keep me sweet.
She now has a new fella, and though it i early days already she is thinking of having kids!
What the fu*&!
So my question is have I just thrown away my chance of having birth children, of being involved in one the greatest experiences any two people can have?
Just a quick not we have two adopted children that live with me, and thay are antastic
2007-11-11 19:42:51 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't think you have thrown away anything. My father never wanted to give it another go with his ex-girlfriend, since he knew he would never be able to trust her again. She has moved on too quick and already wants to start a family. Chances are, you'll meet someone who you'll love much more. It just takes time. Don't call yourself stupid. You did what you thought was right. If she really cared about you, she'd be wanting you back. You still have your children and they sound like wonderful kids! Enjoy life and don't let her get you down.
People say if you really love someone, you can forgive them. I don't really know about this. You can forgive them. But you can't have that 100 percent trust, you had before.
2007-11-11 19:47:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Oh goodness gracious, no. You haven't missed out on the chance of having children. Not only do you have your adopted children (bless your heart for adopting), but you can always find another woman and have a child with her, if you want one of your own. Forget about what your ex wife says about having kids with the new guy. She's only trying to hurt you, full well knowing that you wanted a joint child and now she's rubbing it in.
Honestly, you are far better off without this lady. There are plenty of "good" women out there who know the meaning of a marriage commitment.
2007-11-12 03:55:52 · answer #2 · answered by scubalady01 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She sounds totally selfish and a b*tch. Don't you see why she is trying to have children with this other man so fast?? So she has some reason to try to force him to stay with her.
If you don't want children, you don't have to have them. Besides, you already have kids, just because they are adopted, doesn't mean they aren't YOUR CHILDREN.
Anyway having a child together isn't the greatest experience two people can have. Unless you happen to think never getting any sleep, constant screaming, trips every week to a doctor or hospital, filthy diapers, screaming (again), never having time for your relationship anymore, badly behaved kids are a GREAT thing.
2007-11-12 03:49:09 · answer #3 · answered by myleslr 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just a couple of thoughts.
You didn't throw anything away. It sounds like she's the one that did that. You made changes in order to better life for you and your children. It's never too late. Believe that great things happen all the time, opportunities arise and your efforts will yield results.
Also, the fact that she says she's thinking of having children with her new victim doesn't mean she's really thinking about it. You've established that she's a liar. She told you that once too right? It's just what she says, it's got nothing to do with what she actually does.
2007-11-12 03:55:42 · answer #4 · answered by ∞ sky3000 ∞ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No - you wouldn't want birth children with her anyway. You need to find someone who loves you and wants a life with you - and then you can make a happy stable home for a child. Your adopted children are probably going through so much upheaval right now - first losing their birth parents, and now their adopted parents are breaking up - it's sad.
Just be there for each other - and don't worry so much about having children. Charlie Chaplain had one when he was 82 - men aren't like women in that men don't have a set # of years they can procreate.
2007-11-12 03:53:06 · answer #5 · answered by crisagi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing you have thrown away is a lousy marriage that's clearly not working out. Besides, who says you can't start over with someone new? Staying in a bad marriage simply because you want to have children is the wrong reason.
2007-11-12 03:51:59 · answer #6 · answered by Maricel S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are stupid, she was stupid first. She cheated on you, not the other way around=stupid #1. Now you regret separating? That=stupid #2. Two stupids don't make a smart. Surely there is a wonderful woman out there somewhere who would be more than willing to settle down with you and have your babies. For now, relax. You may find you actually enjoy your newfound singleness.
2007-11-12 04:06:25 · answer #7 · answered by Linni 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
CUT THIS HO OFF!! She is using this talk to hurt you. Just get away. I'm not sure how adopted children are. Who cares if she has kids with him? Find a good woman who wants children and use intermediaries for the current kids if you share custody.
2007-11-12 03:49:37 · answer #8 · answered by kttphoenix 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Rejoice in your children! Don't think that you've thrown away your opportunity to have biological children, it would have been irresponsible to have had children with your ex-wife. You still have time, but don't forget about your adopted children, they need all the love and support you can give right now.
2007-11-12 03:47:47 · answer #9 · answered by la-la-lauren 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Stupid? Maybe. Naive? Yes. If you're divorced you need to get back into dating maybe you'll meet someone really nice that wants to have a family, too. Don't get desperate, though. Sounds like your ex was a controlling person with her own agenda that had nothing to do with you. You're not over the hill yet!
2007-11-12 04:36:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋