We are both in our thirties and living together for almost 11yrs. and staying w/ my in laws. We have a 7y.o boy & a 1yr 9 month bby girl. He & the girl lived together for a yr & has a child(the reason he married the girl). he still managed to come home to us in the years their together. The moment the girl knew this, she surrendered & my partner agreed w/ her coz he thought we deserved him. But my in laws made friends with her for the sake of the kid. I feel awkward about it that sometimes I want to leave him. But he assures me no reconcillation will happend & I can see his regrets. But I'm jobless & afraid my kids will grow up in a broken family. Which me too is a product. What should I do?
2007-11-11 19:39:50 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Because of government intervention you are in somewhat of a mess. By intervention I mean not allowing multi-partner marriages. This is one of those times it would be best for all involved. Multi-partner marriages were the norm at one time and still are in some cultures today.
As a suggestion, if you and the other lady are friends or could develop a good friendship, why not the three of you live together and all three of you provide for and care for these children? This way they will have their parents and not in a broken family.
This is done more often than you may know and all parties are happy and raise healthy better adjusted children. It takes some work and scheduling between both of you ladies for time with your husband but it works out better for everyone in the long run. This is being responsibly practical for all involved.
Now you Christians out there, multi-partner marriages were the norm in much of the Bible and there is no place in the Bible that says God does not approve of multi-partner marriages. If you care to challenge me, know you will loose before you start.
2007-11-11 23:42:28 · answer #1 · answered by pinelake302 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you serious? Your kids watch while your husband has a child with another woman and goes back and forth and you are worried about a broken home? Have you no self respect. He married her because of the baby? What about your kids? He sounds like a sleaze bag and you will be better off without him. I would get your crap together. Get yourself a job and save some money. You need to be able to take care of yourself and your children. You have allowed him to do this to you and he will probably do it again as soon as he finds another. Why do you feel awkward about her? She did not know he was with you it sounds like. She got rid of him when she did find out. Give her some credit. Why have you been together 11 years and had two children and still live with the in laws? He should want better for his family than that. Your kids are watching and learning from your actions and those of your husband. Do you really want them to think that this is normal? If you cannot get a job go and get a skill. I don't know where you live but in the US you can get help with school being a single mother. Good luck with this mess.
2007-11-11 19:53:19 · answer #2 · answered by kim h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So he and the adulterous whore claim to be Christians, do they now, hmmm! Adultery is not the fruit of a Christian but of the world. You need to stop being nice to your husband and treat him like he treats you. Expose him and her adultery to the elders, in front of the church congregation as a witness against them! When you do, point the finger right at them and announce that is why your husband has asked you for a divorce. Tell them what you told us here, how does not even bother to take you for treatments and how he makes you feel. Look directly to the whore's husband and tell him how they are always on the phone and that he better start checking his wife's phone calls and how he does not want you coming to this church with him. Then walk out of that church for good. You can never make your husband love you no matter what. If he truly loved you, he would not of been so hateful and uncaring about your feelings. True love does not hurt but nourishes and supports the beloved. Your husband has no empathy, but only contempt for you and you need to stand up against him. God is on your side because you have not done anything wrong. Your husband is an adulterer, you can divorce him for it.
2016-05-29 07:35:05 · answer #3 · answered by marceline 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm all hats off to you for being a martyr...You've been together for 11 years yet your partner did not have the courage to marry you...and he married this girl for a lousy reason that he fathered her with a child...How about? He also did, not just one but two kids! I'm all hands down to you for being soooo understanding....How can you still trust his words that reconciliation is far between them when in fact, he broke your trust to him when he fathered this girl with a child and even married her! But they say love is really blind...You really love him that much to give him a second chance....But always remember that God put the head over our heart because the heart may not always think for the best....And being a product of a broken family does not hinder a person to the best that she/he can be....Don't be afraid....I'll be praying for you, girl! (",)
2007-11-11 22:23:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Tata, WHAT a SLAP in your face!!! Sorry but you shouldn't be treated like left overs. I KNOW what I would do and I think deep in your Heart you know what you have to do too. It's your call!!!
A Friend,
poppy1
2007-11-11 19:52:37 · answer #5 · answered by poppy1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Simple and to the point.... Leave him. And as you are kick him in the balls really hard so he can't have anymore children.
2007-11-11 20:30:50 · answer #6 · answered by Jessie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
listen to with your head not your heart. best way to answer your question is.. if your friend ask that same question to you what would you tell your friend.. thats is what you should do.. good luck
2007-11-11 19:47:19 · answer #7 · answered by Kat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
are u dumb like brrrrrrrrrrrr..dumb?
2007-11-11 20:26:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋