my lover is the sweetest , funniest, loving guy and i belive that he really love me but when he got angry at me he yell and say bad words at me, he's like a crazy person wd mental illness ") , and blame me for making him behave that way ?!? i really dont understand, should i stay or go?
2007-11-11 20:20:04 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's a short step from verbal abuse to physical abuse, so be aware of that. There's no way you can control him. He needs either anger management or therapy or both. See if you can't get him into marriage counseling. Whatever his problem is, it's not your fault. Don't be a doormat. Your description of a sweet, funny, loving guy does not match the verbal abuser. Leave while you still can. The longer you stay, the lower your self-esteem will go. It'll never get any better.
2007-11-11 20:26:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This sounds like an addict personality. I speak from experience that this will only get worse. It does help if you can not respond or not get angry in return. A soft word helps calm them down. You cannot control them. They want to be the one in control. Be careful because a lot of times, the verbal abuse turns into physical.
2007-11-12 04:27:03 · answer #2 · answered by Becca K 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well Um I would say leave him but I don't know his side of the story So I can't say that to you.
I mean It depends greatly on what you do to piss him off
I mean do you do mean things? Or bite him and stuff like I would bite my boyfriend.......? Because if you do then you might both have to compromise and change some things.
Thats was my case.
But If its just him with a bad temper.
Then get him counseled for the sake of the relationship
or leave.
As far as control a verbal abuser - Well I don't believe we were meant to control or manipulate anybody but your self.
I mean he is the only one who should learn how to control himself regardless the situation- Not you.
Like i said the best thing here is anger management.
:)
2007-11-12 05:45:58 · answer #3 · answered by Wicked Aliens 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Someone who cannot accept responsibility for their own actions and is verbally abusive, not somebody I'd want to be with. Verbally abusive persons are emotionally abusive as well. RED FLAG ALERT. Get out, those situations sometimes deteriorate and become physically abusive. Tell him he needs anger management badly and NOW and leave.
2007-11-12 04:26:42 · answer #4 · answered by Noelle M 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My ex would do the same to me. Everything would be fine then if I told him something or did something that he didn't like or something didn't go his way he would blame me for it. Cuss at me. Tell me I was stupid so on and so forth.
My advice back your bags and leave. If he tries to stop you just keep going. If he says he will change he won't. But as you are leaving kick him in the balls, really hard. I wish I had.
2007-11-12 04:26:16 · answer #5 · answered by Jessie 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Leave now and save yourself a lot more sorrow.
My former lover was very abusive. The best way to disarm someone verbally abusive is by not answering their question or using one of these types of responses:
Please don't yell at me. It only makes me upset so I can't answer your questions
I need time to think this one through. I'll get back to you later.
No.
FYI: No is a complete answer that does not require explanation.
2007-11-12 04:24:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
GO, get out of there fast!!! I used the excuse that mine would change for 12 years. I finally could not take it any more and left. I wasted 12 years of my life that I can not get back!!! Tell him that if he does not quit acting that way, you are going to leave him, and LEAVE!!
2007-11-12 04:25:51 · answer #7 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hi
it seems you have a short tempered guy there. as long as he doesn't do anything physical there is nothing wrong. you need to stand there and listen to him. after he finishes. just tell him" is it over. can i leave now. because the next time this happens i will not be there to listen to this". tell him this and leave. why? to make him feel that the next time this happens you will leave, and you have already warned him about this.
all the best.
2007-11-12 04:27:10 · answer #8 · answered by lady56bird79 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i have an ex like that once. The best way to prevent from getting a heartache is just shut up...and walk away if you can...well at least until he's back to his normal self...he will regret everything he said! ;P hope this works for u...
2007-11-12 04:26:36 · answer #9 · answered by gowiewoshwhat 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you can't control a verbal abuser i know i am with one if you have the resources leave
2007-11-12 04:28:15 · answer #10 · answered by Death Girl Am 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋