please help my marriage. my wife sleeps in a room and i sleep in another room. I do not know what to do?

Question

I have a problem may affect in my marriage. my wife do not treate me as a true husband because she sleep in a room and i sleep in another room. she also do not like sex and she do not like to touch my hand. when i ask her she say by time things will change i need somebody to help me or send me an email for anybody who can help me to know if the problem is from my side or my wife is the problem. PLEASE save my marriage i love my wife................

Answer 1

hmmm....

destroy other rooms...

but leave one room alone...

hmmmm.... also dispose other beds...

gudluck!

Answer 2

firstly you do not say how long you are married.... but from what I see - it seems that you wife has fallen out of love with you ... so much so that she chooses to sleep in another room. She may be felling bad to tell you this - so her actions (like sleeping in another room) is her way of telling you this. So man - confront her - be firm - and tell her that if she does not feel the same way for you so be it. that her that you will let her go ... you be strong .. you don't deservve to be treated this way... and don't get your hopes up.... moving out of the room is evident enough to show - that she has moved on. Good Luck

Answer 3

Unless there was a reason for having seperate beds (ie chronic snoring)...this issue should have been adressed right then and there when she decided to move to another bedroom. Now that she is in another bedroom and not having sex with you..you are going to be totally miserable.

You can't live like this..let her know that you had enough emotional pain and that you need to move on. I know you love your wife...but the heartache you experiencing now
is doing you no good. Chances are she has fallen out of love with you and you will be wasting time trying to reconcile this. Move out and heal !!!

Answer 4

Talk to her. You have to. Tell her you love her. Tell her you'll do anything to make things work out. You just have to talk to her and tell how you really feel. If you love her so much, things would turn out well. But, if you'd delay talking to her.... I'm sorry.... but you'll lose her. That's how the female mind works. You have to be fast. If possible, talk to her now. The more you delay, the more you will fail.

And maybe, there's something wrong with you. Maybe you're unemployed? Or maybe you're a workaholic? Do you have time for her? When was the last time you told her you love her? Did you forget your wedding anniversary? Did you do anything to upset her? Think about it, man! Think about your mistakes. Think about your misgivings. You have to solve this fast.

Apologize. Tell her that you'd make things work out and SHOW that you are indeed making thibgs work out. Don't just stare at your computer screen hoping for a miracle to happen. You have to save your marriage!

Been there, done that. I know what will happen if you fail. In love and war, failure is never an option.

Answer 5

first off you have to figure out when she started sleeping in another room, second of all you have to talk to her and maybe both of you need to get into counseling before matters get worse.

I have gone through what you are going through about 2 yrs ago, although my now ex husband would sleep in the same room he refused to sleep in the same bed and he slept on the floor. after about 2 months of him doing this i tried talking to him and he shut me out completely or he would play the lets stay together, no lets seperate game. finally i realized that he was seeing someone else and although i loved him dearly i ended up filing for divorce.

i dont want to scare you but she may be seeing someone else

Answer 6

Counseling. There is more behind this then you or your wife aren't saying.Treat each other with respect.Treat each other as a equal such as handling money, what furniture to buy,Don't be possessive or bossy. Take her out on a date. Flowers. Take her out somewhere special.

Answer 7

you probably have to look at when this distancing started and try and see if there was a particular event that led to it. It is a little unusual as what is the point of marriage if you aren't together physically. say to her that you can't wait but need to know what you can to to help the situation.

Answer 8

This situation seems to be complex coming from various factors being responsible some of which are
1.You might have offended her very badly
2.She may be having an affair with someone and may be deeply in love with that guy
3.she may be wanting you to go to her bedroom, take her in your arms and pamper her
4.You may never have been her choice.
5.She may be doing it out of guilt, for what she might have done at your back and is afraid to tell you

Answer 9

I'm wondering if there is something in her past that has hurt her so deeply that making love with you scares her and brings back all the old memories. Was she abused as a child by chance?

You both need to get counseling and even if she won't go, you go so you can get another point of view. Patience is a big factor in all this but you can't force her to talk until she is ready. I know. Been there, done that.

Do little things to remind her how much you cherish her. She probably doesn't believe in herself and may not think she is good enough for you if she has a past that haunts her. Check out the links below and try to open the lines of communication. Also buy the book "His Needs, Her Needs' and read that and leave it out where she can see it and hopefully she will read it, too.

Learn to communicate but especially learn to listen when she is trying to discuss something with you. Don't force her to say more than she is ready to share at one time. She may have to share with you in phases what is going on with her.

Maybe with your love, patience, encouragement and understanding, she will see you aren't the bad guy in her life. Never leave her without telling her you love her and especially tell her that each night before you go to bed. Send her cards every month and remind her why you love her.

Be creative as you romance her in subtle ways and tell her when she is ready for a romantic night together, to let you know, that you will be waiting for her with open arms. And that may just mean holding her in your arms and nothing else but if you truly love her, you will work with her and help her through whatever is bothering her and keeping her from returning your love.

I had some things happen when I was growing up and pushed a really wonderful guy away, thinking I wasn't good enough for him. I stayed single for many years because I had low self-esteem and just didn't have confidence or believe in myself. The one summer I faced my past and I cried so many tears that year as I started my healing process. I finally opened up to my best friend that I had known from church for many years and that helped me to be able to talk with someone I knew I could trust.

She said (and I've had others that I grew up with tell me this later) that they knew something was wrong and when the time was right, they knew I would eventually open up. I wished for years that the guy I had walked away from had worked harder to get me to share with him but he didn't and what's done is done. Unfortunately most men don't understand how to help women and they want things "right now", rather than work and help the one they claim to care about.

After I faced my past, I met a wonderful Christian man in the fall who listened and helped me as I discussed and shared my past with him. He was so easy to talk to and he was so compassionate and understanding. He never judged me and wouldn't let me put myself down and assured me I wasn't a bad person and that I hadn't done anything wrong. He and I married 4 years ago and I wouldn't trade him for anyone in the world.

I hope you two can get this worked out so you can be happy together. You sound like a wonderful man and I hope you can learn through counseling how to help her so you two can enjoy many happy, wonderful years together. Good luck to you

Answer 10

Is it really love, when your wife treats you that way, you might love her, but from what I get from your question, she does not love you.

Wake up and smell the coffee, yes the truth is hard to hear, but I am telling you the truth, your wife does not love you, it is your decision to stay in a love-less marriage, or get out, I am not going to tell you what to do, only that the choice is yours.

Answer 11

Please tell why it start happening, what reason made her to sleep to another room you did not mentioned that. If you can solve that problem you should as soon as possible.