why is divorce so hard, especially when he has found someone else and kids are involved?

Question

Don't know what to do. I'm playing babysitter, while he goes out with his girlfriend for the weekend. What can I do? I've tried to work things out with him. He says it's not happening, and the answer is no. No matter what I do, he says, he won't take me back. I'm not perfect, but I did play Susie homemaker for 8 yrs and had his 3 children. He seems to think he has found someone that makes him happier than I did.

Please help.

Answer 1

Well I think there is no point for you to salvage the marriage if he can do such things to you. Just move on with your life. Prove to him that you can do better without him and let him regret for the mistake he have made.

Answer 2

My parents are actually going through the same thing, except it's my mom who left and found someone else. It's the happiest I've seen her in almost ever. My dad never did anything wrong, not abusive, contributed to the family, really funny guy, but in the end it just didn't work for her. My dad still loves her, she was the love of his life, but there's not much he can do, but mourn the loss and move on. I believe one day a second love may happen for him absolutely.

Human emotion is something that changes over time and morphs with the individual. Sometimes it's erratic and doesn't make any sense. It's completely possible that you were the absolute perfect wife, but you can't explain happiness, it's different for everyone.

Maybe your husband has found someone that makes him happy or happier, it may just not have been meant to be forever for you two.

Don't lose hope, happiness lurks around every corner. Someone may walk into your life tomorrow who makes you happier than he ever did! Good luck!

Answer 3

Let him go. It is so hard because you base everything that you have on the life that you think you are going to live for the rest of your life and then it gets ruined by someone else. You plan and sacrifice for them and then you find out that it was not good enough. Love your kids and give them the best life that you can. You will find the right one eventually. You deserve better than your ex. Someday you will be happy that he is gone. It is hard now I know but it will get better. Keep yourself busy and you will think about it less. Good luck.

Answer 4

Seriously that is horrible!! But the only way you can get through it, Is to better yourself!!! Worry about yourself and your kids!! Be STRONG and make a life for yourself without him!! Work on your inside as well as your outside!! Trust me I did it!! You will eventually move on and someone else will come along. I know it is easier said than done!! It will happen!! By then he will probly see that you no longer want him and his sorry behind will be wishing he would have been good to you!!

Answer 5

Go find yourself a solicitor who will give you the first 20-30 minutes of advice for free and find out what your rights are and what you can do to help yourself and your children. Don't let him walk all over the top of you.

Answer 6

get a lawyer or better a professional mediator its alot cheaper then a lawyer you know its over so move on, not to many good susie homemakers out there anymore your do fine

Answer 7

I am sorry that you are currently unable to reconcile with your ex. Ultimately, the best thing for the children is to have a mother and a father in the home for them. I believe this should be the case in every reasonable situation.

I would urge you to contact him and explain that the children need two parents, not one. They need his time as much as they need yours. Feel free to provide my contact information. I will personally do everything I can to help him to see that shared custody is the best situation for the children. If I can I will try to convince him of reconcilliation.

Please do not involve the courts. The only thing you will do is spend a lot of his or yours or boths money that could be going for the care of the children. They will destroy your family without consequence. There is a lot of money involved here. For every case the court hears, they get paid. For every case the settle, they get 100 times as much money in the future. The lawyers pockets get lined with tons of cash, and your children will get none of it.

I have included a few links below that I am sure will help both you and your ex find a way to put aside your petty differences and help you work together for the sake of your child. Studies show that equal time with both parents will make a child more likely to grow up emotionally well adjusted and healthy, and more likely to perform better in school and life.

God Bless

Frank Pytel

Side Note: Various Google searches including the quotes.

“Child Custody” : 1,800,000 hits
“Child Custody” -Lawyer : 1,680,000 hits
“Child Custody” -Lawyer -Attorney : 1,460,000 hits
“Child Custody” -Lawyer -Attorney -Judge : 1,260,000 hits
“Child Custody” -Lawyer -Attorney -Judge -Litem : 1,250,000 hits
“Child Custody” -Lawyer -Attorney -Judge -Litem -Law : 587,000 hits
“Shared Child Custody” : 1,270 hits
“Joint Child Custody” : 790 hits

http://www.deltabravo.net/
http://www.fapt.org/index.php?option=com_frontpage&Itemid=1
http://www.f4j.com/
http://groups.yahoo.com/search?query=shared+child+custody
http://360.yahoo.com/my_profile-O8EcRbkhYrI8Y76FID5PBDX6;_ylt=Av95cKrS2heIv727lcF0FuikAOJ3

Answer 8

you cant change how he feels. you cant change anything about him.. you have to just let him go. he will know what hes lost in time. you need to get out and meet people also. do your own thing and keep busy so you don't dwell on what hes doing or not doing. you have to make yourself happy and the kids. its like a death sorta you have to morn him and move on. you can do this.. good luck

Answer 9

i develop into in a similar boat. My husband and that i desperate to stay at the same time with the aid of fact our daughter develop into 2 months old. Plus we family contributors member yet another deep down and didn't wish to be aside. So we worked with the aid of it. That develop into final September. we are going good and are going to have yet another infant probably next twelve months. learn how to love back. supply up the arguing, its not good for the baby. supply up the yelling. start up loving. Be intense-high quality on your spouse and he or she'll be intense-high quality to you. Take it sooner or later at a time. decide for walks in the intense-high quality climate. the two one among you play including your new child. get entangled in good activities. you're able to try this!!! good success.

Answer 10

Go to school so that you can get a good job and take care of yourself. It will greatly help your self esteem.