What should my married friend do?

Question

he says that his wife is "stalking" him, and she wont let him do anything because she has convinced herself that hes a cheater, even though he is not. Apparantly she checks his time cards to verify hours he was working and she also insists on going with him everywhere to make sure he isnt cheating . etc.. etc... he said its a living hell. He asked me what he should do, I am going to print this and show him your answers. thanks

Answer 1

While her behavior is not a good idea, I have to ask what prompted her suspicions? Maybe something he has said or done lately made her need reassurance.

Answer 2

Sorry to ask some of this but, How old are you & married how Long? Did anything Happen to get her started like this? No Hints of anything like this before you were Married?

Her Checking your Time Card at work could cause problems for You and For her if they (At Work) Think the Time Cards are being messed with.

You Should Seak Some Mental Help for her? Do you want to try to fix this or???? Confront Her Straight up Front "This (what you know) and I can't Take This Any Longer, It's Effecting My Work, Our Family Life, Any Friends We May Have, I Can't Bring My (our) Friends Around Because of the Way You Act, This Has to Stop!!! or Something's Going to Have to Be Done?

NOTE; Add If you still feel that way? "I Love You and Want Our Life to Work but This Has To STOP!!" You're Going to Have to Be Hard Even Thow it Will Hurt.

Answer 3

There must be something that is making her insecure about their relationship. Do they spend enough quality time together, talking about important things? Have they recently moved/changed jobs? Does he have to travel a lot? Is this recent behaviour on her part, or was she like this since they got married? Has she recently gained weight, or did anything else happen that makes her feel less attractive to him? Do they have sex often? Maybe someone put the idea into her head that he may be cheating? They really need to COMMUNICATE. He must find the root cause for her behaviour in order to try and solve the problem.

Answer 4

Both of them should see a marriage counsellor. She obviously has huge trust problems and she needs help to get over them, they can fix the problem together and she can stop being such an insane wreck, but only if she WANTS to fix it.

If she would not agree to get help, then I would just leave her. Tell her I can't stand her lack of trust or faith in me anymore, and leave. If she really loves him, why does she have such an obsession about him cheating?

I'd also very much like to hear her side of the story.

Answer 5

Are you female by any chance? Seems to me the wife has grounds for checking on her husband. He could do the decent thing and just start the divorce straight away instead of fooling around.

Answer 6

Marriage counseling would help greatly. Sometimes people carry baggage from other relationships, or they feel so insecure that they don't feel worthy. It is really not for you to get involved in. You will only cause more problems for him and for yourself.

Answer 7

He and his wife should have some marriage counseling. He should also quit asking you for advice. This is between him and his wife and is none of your business. They need to learn how to communicate and she needs to learn to control her jealousy. It shouldn't be marriage by committee.

Answer 8

She is smothering him. It wont improve. She needs to sort out her issues and he needs to leave her. This will be the only thing that will trigger her to get help with her insecurity issues.

Answer 9

Suggest for them to see a marriage counselor as they have bigger problems than what anyone in here can give you advice for.

Answer 10

They both need to be in counseling. Its ok to know where he;s going to be in general, but this is a bit much.